Burglars In My Bed

My bed grew somewhat crowded last night. Discouragement crept in before I hit REM, well I never hit REM but I know you get the picture. Uncertainty slid in on the other side of me and man was it snoring--loudly! I attempted to sleep again. Tell me why did they both decide to have a complete conversation right in the middle of me going there? I slept for no more than half an hr at a time but in my sleep all I could hear was the chorus to Rihanna's "Diamonds". Shine bright like a diamond, shine bright like a diamond played over & over until I wanted to scream under my breath. Off & on this song would play in my head. I swear it was in cahoots with the intruders in my bed. Detachment tried to creep his little way under the sheets but I kicked his ass out just in time. I'll be damn if I lose anymore shut eye to another impostor. The two in my bed were already conspiring to keep me up until the wee hours of the morning.

One part of me was listening to Diamonds while the other part of me tried to hone in on the rap session of my unwanted back-seater drivers. I had no idea what brought this on--or do I? Ah yes, it was a text I received a few hours earlier. It disturbed me. It probably shouldn't have, at least that's how he puts it but nonetheless, it did. Shine bright like a diamond is playing again. So, who or what do I actually listen to? I know I shine bright as hell but am I that bright where my intruders decided to cop a squat for the night? Do I listen to them because of the loud talking and the interesting things they are saying?

To make matters worse, Discontent, Impatience & Naivete decided to barge in, sit at the edge of the bed & turn my damn tv on! Now how in the hell are they able to turn it on in one flip when it took me a week to do so!? Ugh the freaking nerve! 5 interlopers in my damn bed WITH that damn Rihanna! This can't be real. All of these visitors for what? Needless to say, I got NO sleep. I didn't get to dream. I tossed & turned all night & Discouragement, Uncertainty, Discontentment, Impatience & Naivete all snored until the cows came home. Today is Tuesday, the day I dubbed "IDontGiveADamn" day & guess what? No sleep definitely enhances the lack of concern for any-damn-thing!

//signed//
The Irritable Cat's Meow

So, Who Gets The Gold?



If I get this, I'll pray 4 nothing else...promise





Wish upon a shooting star but tell no one.

There's a question that continues to linger in my mind and his has been since I was a young Diva and for some reason, it's been harassing my thoughts a lot lately. If two people pray or wish for the same thing at the same time then whose wish is granted or prayer is answered? What if that thing is the only one thing at the moment? I think what sparked this question was the Olympic competition. I used to watch it every four years and I see competitors praying for the gold. There is only one gold per competition right? So, if both competitors are equally talented, hardworking and equally as deserving than why does one walk off with the gold and the other one doesn't? They both prayed with equal sincerity right? It baffles me really. What exactly is the determining factor of the win and the prayer? Someone told me yesterday, "Guess it depends on the wish & the people making the wish." Rightfully so but as I stated a few sentences ago, what if BOTH people are equally as deserving. I compare it to something like winning a music or academy award. We hear tons of great music throughout the year before the Grammy's. There is R&B, Neo-soul, Rock, Rap, Hip Hop and so on. Musical artists work very hard whether we'd like to admit it or not. Oftentimes the ones we feel that are more deserving aren't even nominated. Though I love Ms Gagalicious, I'd take Esthero over her any day but why is Esthero never nominated? She has been on the scene for a long time and she has loads of fans.Vikter Duplaix is awesome as hell so what makes him so underground and not Musiq Soulchild? Hmmm....I guess we can chalk it all up to a popularity or familiarity contest if you will. With popularity contests, it's not always the most deserving that wins. It's who is the crowd is most familiar with that gets the gold. Familiarity can be one of the biggest crutches. For starters, it definitely breeds contempt. It keeps you inside a box--stagnate and immovable. You may not be happy but it's something that you know. You don't have to figure it out. You don't have to change. You know the advantages and disadvantages, ups and downs, good and bad of whatever or whomever you are familiarity with. Is there a checklist that the heavens use to see who actually gets their wish granted? Does the universe have a Wish List Requirement? I can't fathom it really. Maybe the real answer is--Who is it meant for if it's meant to be at all? Was I meant to have the part or did the other actress meet more wish-granting criteria then myself, figuratively speaking or course. If it's meant to be, will it be? I don't know. I can't call it. I guess I'll keep wishing, keep praying & eventually I'll get the gold--if it's meant to be of course.

//signed//
The Curiously Cat's Meow

My New Friend (Part Un)

Melancholy is my friend. Happiness used to be.
If ever I'd to choose between the two, Happiness it'll be. 
Desperation is at my door.
Insecurity is already sit'n down
Fear is somewhere in the kitchen
Sadness wears a frown.
Desolate is picking at my scab wombs
Rejection's down the hall
Disparity is talking shit again
while morose is on the prowl.
Truth is nowhere to be found
and Loyalty, I heard is dead.
Faith is somewhere in my dreams
when it used to be in my bed
Understanding & acceptance is somewhere hanging out
When they used to be with me.
I guess they grew tired of being alone.
They needed company.
My heart wonders how I got here
while my head knows just how.
"A combination of things" is what it tells me,
"Dolorous has you now."
Where's my strength, where's my faith?
Where's my friend credence gone?
Honesty, where is your ass
while my Expressiveness is in the john?              
Solitude? Yeah that's my ace.
He's convinced we're having an affair.
 My smile you see is just a mask.
It's usually always there. Trust is peering thru the window
while Apologies are out of town.
I sure miss my friend Ecstasy.
Sorrow is in here wearing a crown.....smh
Hmph...I'm sure my pal will be back soon.
We'll be reunited--you'll see.
But for now, Melancholy is my new friend.
Happiness used to be.
(c) 2011 Elle Woods

//signed//
The Missing Cat's Meow

In the Litter Box

     For the past few weeks, the Cat's Meow has been feeling a lil down in the litter box. Yeah, it happens to the best of us...even me. I can't believe that just purred outta my mouth. smh Like....my thoughts are undesirable and sporadic and I feel like the contents of the litter box--shitty, pissy, rocky, smelly--u get the picture. I'm trying my hardest to think positive thoughts and broaden my faith but for some reason its a bit more complicated than usual. My father used to say that nobody garnished faith like his baby girl (dat's me). Even as a child, I didn't believe in failure, loss, negativity, can'ts or have nots.

I'm a shitty mess right now!

     Lately, it's been a bit different. It's hard to think positive when every time you do, it's combated with at least 2 negatives and ONE of those negatives win. After so many negatives u begin to wonder if the positive still exist. Open a business only for it to shut down. Get over one illness only go gain three more due to the primary illness. I wanna kick the dog cuz he's pissing me off. Learning you are paying $400 in rent MORE than your neighbors for the same amount of space and speaking of space--someone else is in mine and though I love her to death, I NEED IT BACK! Where does it end? Negativity is like that salt in the blue box--when it rains, it pours! So, lately I've been questioning my existence, wondering which talent of mine will take off--if it takes off, life's purpose, lack of sleep when I'm dog ass tired, going home to NO ONE for the sixth year in a row and etc. And whoever said college degrees begets lucrative employment obviously didn't anticipate this crappy economy. If I hear another employer tell me that I am over-qualified for a position, I will commence to being very un-kitty-like! Now of course this is just scratching the surface of my woes but who wants to hear about all of em? We've all got our own problems right. But back to the purpose of this post--life has seriously thrown me curve balls and boulders. I'm trying to keep the faith but that's going nowhere. I'm constantly thinking, crying, working things out, crying, letting people go, crying, questioning people's motives, crying, rearranging this, maneuvering that and so on and so forth oh and did I mention crying? Oh ok just checking. Man I swear I've been in the ring with Mike Tyson AND Lennix Lewis! But Yeah, every now and then I feel this way. It's not often thank the heavens but I guess this year it's my turn. SMH Anyhow, to shorten up this depression of a post, while sitting here contemplating my next move & wondering if ANYTHING will work out in my favor, I get a text. I didn't wanna answer it, look at it, didn't care who it was from & didn't give a damn what they had to say buuuutttttt....of course curiosity killed the kitty cuz I picked up the phone, nonchalantly I may add, and clicked on the message. The sender was one who always feel my sadness, hears my cries from a distance and sees my tears from miles away--my daddy! Hold the hell up! Who da hell taught his ass howta text? I'll get back to that later. Anywho, his text was short simple & like him--to the damn point. "Be strong and brave. U will win. From daddy." Just when I thought I had NO tears left, his ass add fuel to the fire. It was that Super Unleaded Plus fuel but it was fuel nonetheless. It's weird how he knows these things. I didn't tell him anything! It's always been this way.
     SO, needless to say those words of encouragement come thru right on time. Encouragement comes from the strangest of places and the least expecting moments sometimes. It's time for me to climb on out of this litter box anyway. It's quite smelly and these lil rocks are hurting my damn ass...literally! I'm not fully recovered of course but I'm getting there. When a negative thought enters I cuss it right on out! I'll be damned and the hell u say! I guess I'll get back to trying to thinking positive. I hope this works. What am I saying!? It WILL WORK. Who am I to question the first man to hear my cry and the first man to wipe my tear even today while he is miles away. I'm not to question it at all.
It's true what they say-------->>>>>>

//signed//
The Pissy Cat's Meow

Get In, Sit down, Buckle Up, Shut Up & Hold On!!

It's got curves of situations and hills of complications. The red light is bright for a reason but we run it anyway. Sometimes I like to compare life to driving. I mean really who reads the manual? You have to look at least 12 seconds ahead to avoid traffic. Stop when the signs tell you to. Yield when there is warning. Don't speed up at the yellow light for that too, is a bit bright. When the road gets rocky, hold the hell on. Don't expect life to be paved at your every mile. You may have to climb over a boulder or two but if you pay attention to the road you will be richly prepared for them. Talk less--it's amazing the things we hear AND see when we shut the hell up sometimes. You can't do EVERYTHING despite how positive you are. Some things aren't meant to be so sit down & stay calm. When your dreams are clearly on go....BUCKLE UP CUZ IT'S FULL SPEED AHEAD!

//signed//
The Cat's Meow

Clean Out That Damnn Closet! (Day 1)

How can we expect 2 embrace or renew our wardrobe of life if we continue 2 hang on 2 the old shit in our closet? We've outgrown things in there but we refuse 2 discard them. We keep them on the hanger sometimes with the expectation of change. Clothes don't change, we do. Where will be put the new stuff? Our new hat (thoughts) won't fit on the old head. Our new coat (courage) is compromised with the old coat beneath it. We won't talk about the old shirt (needs) not looking as great hanging next 2 the newer one. We continue to hold on to the belt that binds our growth, constantly adding holes on the loose end when there is a perfectly new belt hanging on the rack waiting patiently to be looped. And oh the shoes, shoes, shoes. They are cramped on our feet. They are sweaty & have a hole in the soul so whatchu gon' do? Dreams can't take flight if our shoes are too tight, right? Riiighhhttt....

//signed//
The Spring Cleaning Cat's Meow

There Is One Born Every Minute

YEAH YEAH YEAH I know. I haven't blogged in a while but it's not like I haven't thought about yall...all 28 of yall. I've had plenty to say just not a lot of time to say it in. Well, today is one of those days when I have to sit down and tell you about the foolery. Mind you it's not gonna be a whole lot. It's just that I hate when people say stupid things and do stupid things without thinking about it. Yeah we all do it at some point in time. Nobody is perfect....except me...but there are somethings that deserve logical contemplation before being spewed onto the rest of the world. Now I know a few weeks ago...ok ok a few months ago I blogged about a woman stating that she doesn't trust other women for whatever reason and I know you saw my view point on that. If not see here---> It Takes One to Know One and come back...I'll wait.



Ok back to our regularly scheduled programming. Today on Facebook, someone posted their feelings of disgust for women that speak loudly in public and then they followed up with: Women should be seen and not heard. Typical guy talk, right? WRONG! It was a female! Now if ya know me, you know I couldn't pass on the opportunity to enlighten a mofo. First of all, the statement is "Children should be seen and not heard" which I think is so disheartening.

So I asked the young "lady": Then why are u speaking? Just askin....
Her: What are you talking about? You don't have to be LOUD to speak! #weirdcomment
Me: U said they should be seen and not heard. Usually when people speak it is heard whether it is loud or not. You're a woman. Would you want to just be looked at and only given permission to speak? Think about it.
Her: IT A FIGURE OF SPEECH with only means a lady should be a lady and you don' (she ended with "'don'" so maybe she forgot what she was going to say. It's OK, I have that effect on most people)
Me: Yeah well some figures of speech are illogical ones. I see your point. I just don't agree with the FOS.

Needless to say, she ignored my comment and proceeded to answer someone else that disagreed with her. *shrugs* Now is this bish serious? How would you feel if you were just a body without a voice? Back in the 30's and before then, women were not allowed to voice their opinion, not allowed to vote, not allowed to make a certain amount of money and not allowed to..hell...there were plenty of shit we were not allowed to do so you mean to tell me that you wish we'd resort to that again? Helloooo I know you've heard of the women suffrage movement. It's that movement that sorta allowed you to be the entrepreneur that you are. Oh my how silly are we sometimes. Other women fought for your freedom to speak and your dumb ass wishes to be silenced? I don't get it!  And since we are on the subject of loud her ass clearly typed out: IT A FIGURE OF SPEECH! Number one, all caps is considered to be loud in the computer world and secondly, put an "s" on the end of IT ya genius! How are you gonna criticize something and turn right around and do it in another form? SMDH Thirdly, use proper English, punctuation and complete sentences when addressing the Cat's Meow Bitch! Get ya shit together!Futhermore, YOU are the woman that should be seen and not heard because it is apparent that you don't think before you speak anyway! 


//signed//
The LOUD Cat's Meow

A Lesson In Potatoes

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

 
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred or grudges for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

//signed//

The Forgiving Cat's Meow

How the Hell do YOU Know?!

Aug 30, 2009

A woman tells her daughter, "Homosexuality is wrong and it's not God's plan for you." Bitch how do YOU know what God's plan is for anyone? Did yall have a personal discussion about HIS plans 4 someone else? How do YOU know that being straight was his plan 4 your ass? How about talking 2 him about YOU instead of someone else? Why would the maker discuss someone else's personal business with you exactly? How do You know he didn't plan for you to be a nun or a waitress or something? He didn't plan for you to be a simple bish but you obviously are! I get too upset when folk demean the sexuality of someone else. I mean really, do you have anything else to do besides judge? Hold up...don't answer that b/c its apparent that you don't. People never cease to amaze. This imbecile's mind was just as open as a ski lift in the summer. ugh!

//signed//

The Irritable Cat's Meow

So Sexy As You Say

Dec 4, 2007

I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, fully clothed in skin and sweet lavender spray.
Yet you never lift a finger to caress my inner thigh
But only to kiss me softly right before shut eye.
Do I not resemble the girl on your computer screen, the woman in your dreams?
Is my skin too dark? My hips too wide?
When I walk does my hair not fling side to side?
Perhaps my chest is too small or my ankles too petite or maybe you hate my smile for the space in my teeth.
My lips are your favorite and "oh how you love my ass".
But how could you love my touch so much yet fall asleep so fast?
I'm striving to be all you want; be how you need me to be
And all I ask is on tonight will you please make love to me?
I need this, I want you and love you desperately but just how long will I have to wait for you to touch the inner me?
I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, only clothed in skin and shame and my fading lavender spray.

elvadaseleithia/20071205
*written for no one in particular*

One Way Ticket To Where-the-Hell!

Why do people say "they're in a better place" or "they are home now" when people die? How exactly do YOU know? Have you been there? I'ont think I'ma like that home. I mean, how big is the kitchen? Is there pink and photos of me in every room? And the coffin seems waaay to small to house all of my shoes and makeup. Do you get to choose your neighbors? What if you don't like your outfit? I know they say it partially because that means a person is no longer suffering on earth but.....just but...what if the person is NOT suffering from anything? I mean I don't have the best of times all the times and sometimes I get a lil down and broken hearted but my life is not that bad. It's actually pretty damn cool. Not being able to pay a bill or bored or powerful headache doesn't constitute ending it all for me. Who said a mofo was suffering? Aint no coming back from death and I don't like to visit places I can't come back from. That's scary. I'll miss my peeps. I'll miss my shoes & the stove. They may not eat cake where I'm going, though I'm Buddhist and believe a bit differently, humor me will ya? What if I haven't accomplished the things I set out to do yet? Is there a redo? Who will be ME whilst I'm gone? No one can pull that shit off! And if the carpet is made of clouds like they say then I definitely can't go cuz my stilettos would just go straight through them clouds. NOT GOOD!  I need to know the weather conditions up there cuz I don't like wearing coats! Am I guaranteed to see ALL of my peeps that have passed B4 me? What? They say they're gonna meet me there so shit, if they are there can we play a game of spades? I'm not understanding why there isn't a round trip ticket offered on this trip "home". I mean, I go home all the time to Atlanta but I bring my black ass back to where I LIVE! How is not being able to shoe shop, make love and eat cake a better friggin place? I demand a gotdamn recount and new survey. It's like people being "thankful to be alive". Be thankful for shit you can experience and can tell the difference. Be thankful for the sun cuz you don't appreciate the rain. Be thankful for having food cuz you've experienced being hungry but you can't be thankful for living unless you've experienced death and since u can't come back from this "better place" then that is not possible.  I am thankful for the great things IN my life is better. Who ever said this shit above has better be reputable. They better have been to death and was able to 'live' and tell about it. I aint met one yet, have you?  No one has come back and told me they like that there new home OR that they like it better than being on earth so I kinda wanna pass but I know I will be forced to go. I know one thing, I aint going w/o a good ass fight. Kicking & screaming in my stilettos all the damn way! WHAT SET U CLAIM!?

//signed//
The Eternal Cat's Meow

I'm Not A Kid Anymore But Sum Days I Sit & Wish I Was A Kid Again...

     The longer we live and the more mature we get, there will be reminders that will make us sit and wish we were kids again *in my Ahmad voice*. Lollipops & candy stops or a fast ride down a slip-n-slide. Base stealing and big wheeling; kool-aid toasting or rollercoasting makes us long for the days when we had no rent to pay, no car to gas up, no job to hate & no calories to count. These were the days when you recieved things that you don't get as adults. Today is one of those days. I only experienced Valentine's Day as a kid. I miss those hard ass "Be Mine" candies. They were full of calories, carbs and sometimes love. It was puppy love grant it but at least it meant something. These were the days where you got lil cards from your favorite friends instead of Valentine's Day text messages or links on your Facebook page.
     Funny thing is, these are the only Valentine Days I remember. I never had one as an adult. I've wished for one, two or a few but I never got them. Even when I had a boo I didn't have a Valentine's Day and that usually meant I had no bornday from him either. They are nearly one in the same. Now you know that's dreadful to have a boo but not have a V Day! Damn that's pitiful! LOL  It was always the "I forgot" or "It's here already? (insert fake ass shock face)" or "Babe it's not working. It's not you, it's me" bullshit like a week before the big day. Let's not mention the ones who tried to return to the relationship on like February 20th. Nah Boo, if it wasn't "working" on Feb 7th then the 20th won't be any different.

     I try and stay in the house on this day and celebrate my birthday the whole month including weekends. Why the whole month? Shit I was shorted! Short month (28 days duh!), Black History month, Valentine's and President's Day all rolled in that one month? Shit I deserve to celebrate 28 days (sometimes 29). I don't go to the movies that day, I don't go out to eat, I don't go to the park and I don't visit any place where couples dwell. Now, before you get to ranting and issuing out unsolicited advice, just know that I love me. I love me all the time. I take me on dates, I spoil me, buy me flowers, kiss me at night and the whole nine. I do it damn near all year. Valentine's Day is just a reminder that I do all of this stuff for me and me alone. When will someone else do this shit? LOL I love flowers from others too. I don't want to pay for the meal ALL the time and I'd love for someone to make the day about ME. Can someone else cook ME a meal? Shit I like to eat too damnit! lol Yeah, it is just another day when you get down to it but it's a day set aside for your boo  or for you and damnit I wanna be set aside too! I wanna be spoiled and have that "Ah honey you shouldn't have" (grabs flowers) moment 2! I, too, like songs dedicated to me on a special day. Shit this is one of the reasons I don't like going to the movies on VDay or any day. Mofos always in there holding hands and necking and shit. Get a damn room! Don't nobody wanna see alladat...if they aint doing it too! *rolls eyes* Oh and please don't get on that "Wait" and "Patience. He'll be here" bullshit either. I think my whole adult life w/o a Valentine's is patient enough. How much waiting u want a bish to do? I mean the first 8 yrs in adulthood I never thought about it, expected it or anything so don't go there.
So, last year I actually decided to stop praying for a mate or a Valentine's Day. That way when I don't get one, it'll be cuz I haven't asked. Silly huh? SO! Don't judge me! 3 yrs ago, I prayed for the 2 most important people in my life to have mates. They deserve it. They have boos now. Seems like that's the only prayer that will ever be answered in my life. LMAO It's all good I guess. As long as my two besties have boos then I'll be okay.  I can always just live vicariously thru them. I'm supposed to right? hahah Anyway, I won't beat a dead horse. I just wanted to speak on how I feel today. If you have a Valentine today I am happy for you (I still hate u too tho lmao). But seriously, it is a great thing to be loved and set aside. If you have a boo and love them dearly, make Valentine's Day everyday.  *sighs*
On that note, I'ma rehearse my lines for the show. Now everybody say: I remember way back when.
I'd like to wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day.

//signed//
The Cat's Purr
*skips off--when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again*

Joseph Jackson Did What?!

It's man's best friend. It's loyal, loves him, and is a work horse when the man has worked 14 hr days. It's entertaining, comes in all colors and never mutters a word. In shades of gray, tones of black and hues of browns, it will sit in the man's lap all day. And most of the time it does just what you tell it. It's there when he wakes up and sits still when the man's asleep. If you're thinking Fido, Pooch or Killer than you are way off key--well sort of. I've never seen a dog occupy a man's lap upon hours on end but I have witnessed a remote control never to leave sight of a few men, even my perfect daddy. Everyone who has enjoyed the use of their programmable DVD, DVR, TIVO, and television remote controllers owes a thank you to Mr. Joseph N. Jackson.

No, he didn't have a brood of famously singing children in Indiana nor was he a Caucasian major league baseball player. He was the inventor of man's second best friend.

 

Mr. Jackson was born in Harvey, Louisiana as the fourth of eight children born to Ernest and Octavia Jackson. At the age of 17 he went to work as an oil field tool maintenance helper before joining the United States Army at the age of 18. While enlisted in the Army he worked unloading ships in Alaska from 1956-1957 and as a Military Policeman from 1958-1961. In 1961 he received his high school GED. After which, he went to television repair school at night, and later owned and operated a Radio and Television Repair Shop part-time for 7 years in Fayetteville, North Carolina. He was honorably discharged from the Army in February 1968 after 12 years of service. He rejoined in Jun 1970, and worked in Korea as an engineer equipment technician. In 1971, he graduated from the U.S. Army Recruiting and Career Counselor School and work in Boston, MA in 1971-1972.He transferred to California in 1973 as an Army Recruiter and Career Counselor until his retirement July 1978. In 1975 he completed his degree in Business Administration from Columbia College, Columbia, MO.

These efforts led to the precursor of the V-Chip. The V-Chip is an electronic chip which works in conjunction with your television, VCR, or cable box. It is used in the television industry to block out violent and objectionable programs that could be seen by young children. Mr. Jackson is the creator of the Programmable Television Receiver Controllers and other innovative devices for the television industry. Joseph Jackson is presently the holder of at least 6 U.S. Patents in the area of telecommunications and Fertility Prediction Devices for females, several copyrights, trademarks, and Pending Patents in the area or Aircraft security and Tracking. He currently holds a PH.D. in Applied Science and Technology from Glendale University. He was recently honored in the City of Carson, CA, with an honorary Doctorate in Business Administration for his contribution to society. Speaks some conversational Korean and Spanish. This living legend is an inventor, scientist, businessman, humanitarian and Co-founder of the Black Inventions Museum, Inc. To date, he continues to work on ideas that will enhance the lives of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE!

So, the next time my daddy yells for me to come down 3 flights of stairs to hand him the remote, or you use this handy lil device to change your radio station even though your arm is less than six inches from radio, we have this man to thank. And if you so happen to find yourself  rolling through Hawthorne, California, throw ya hands up and say hey to Dr. Joe Jackson for me would ya?

//signed//

The Cat's Meow

Don't Play A "Man", Be One!

I find that many men in today's society are "playing" a man, when in actuality, they lack the understanding of relationship balance. Simply put, you get what you give or you just settle for the leftovers. ~Joscelyn C. Rachal (MY friend)

I, oftentimes, hear men talk about the type of women they want. I've compiled a list of things that the fellas deem necessary to be his boo:

• I need a woman that's a "good girl" but at the same time not (huh?)
• She needs to be down for me and us
• Versitile...can take her with me anywhere
• Need her to know her role...let me be the man, but be a STRONG woman for me and us (let a man be a man? I've addressed this before...smh)
• She gotta be smart, somewhat educated, street smart (I'm guessing this means a HS diploma will suffice)
• Be my strength when I need to be weak (click LIKE button)
• Know when to be quiet (dumb)
• Can cook her ass off
• Doesn't mind me kicking it with the fellas
• Let's me know what is on her mind or what she is feeling
• I can't just walk all over her, cuz if I can...sadly, I will (o_O)
• She's gotta be my woman, my lady, my friend, my homie, my rider, my freak
• Keep me happy...and do right by me and for us...and I'll do everything in my power to do the same (such a poweful and wonderful ending eh?)

Now of course being the empowered woman that I am, some of this doesn't sit too well with me but this is not a male bashing post. It's more of an educational one so I'll save my Post of Disdain for later. My question is: What attributes are you presenting to attract a suitable mate? I mean you want a communicative woman that can cook her ass off and will give a BJ at any given time with her versatile self? Hmmm..... Those are some good attributes to have. They are 'somewhat' fairly reasonable. Who wouldn't want these things? The best way to obtain this 'dream' is to live it yourself. A lot of times we wish or ask for things that we, ourselves, are not really ready for. Ya know, the things that we are not willing to dish out. I mean how many mates have you had that wanted you to communicate only for them not to reciprocate? I'll wait.....
What about the ones who demanded four play but his or her face never me the 'inner' or 'outter' you'? Still waiting...
I got it! I got it! Raise ya hand if you really didn't mind your mate kicking it with the friends but they either did it far too often, not enough or gave you the side-eye when it was you turn to party w/o them? Ok tired of waiting!
I'm sure a lot of this has happened. It will happen again most likely and is bound to happen if it hasn't already. Our job is to recognize what we want and be willing to reciprocate that which what we are asking for. That means accept it when it's in front of you only when you are ready. Don't dish out what you can't take and don't demand shit you are not willing to do. You want me to cook my ass off? Gotdamnit, DESERVE me cooking my ass off. U want smoked apple wood bacon? Get your ass out there and bring it home! I will not BUY it, OPEN it, COOK it, PLATE it AND DIGEST it all while you do absolutely nothing! I will not LET you be the man. You BE the man. Yes Dear, kick it with the fellas til the cows come home but ya damn sure betta gimme my damn time. You will get your time. I'm at that place in my life where reciprocation is damn nar my middle name. It used to be that I gave alot and settled for little. We do that when we don't feel deserving or there is nothing better or we feel the situation will get better. NEWSFLASH: It WON'T get better if ya settle. We all deserve a loving relationship. Not at the same time mind you but we all deserve it. We all need it. We all want it. The question is: Will you be READY for it?

//signed//
The READY WILLING & ABLE Cat's Meow

Sometimes, it's fear of not knowing what to do with love that makes people resistant. And I think some people don't feel that they deserve that type of raw, real love. It's intimidating and would require one to become transparent which is a daunting task for most. ~Eno Enoinwek

It Takes One 2 Know One!

If I hear 1 mo' female claim they can't be friends with other females cuz they are jealous, catty, untrustworthy or sneaky, I will commence to letting her ass have it! If you'd rather have male friends than have em , SAY  that and own up to it but don't make excuses for having them. Saying these negative things about women makes you look ig'nant. YOU are a woman so what does that say about you? I'm a firm believer that most times you attract who you are so if you feel that way, look in the damn mirror! Just like misery loves company, so does catty jealous women. Think about it and re-evaluate! I have a buncha women as friends and they don't possess any bullshit you are claiming and I'm not that way either. And this is for ALL races cuz I've heard damn near one woman per race say it so pls don't go there either! ugh

In my personal opinion (and since this is MY blog, only my opinion count), this is coming from a place of insecurity & envy. Perhaps you had a "friend" to bed your man before, perhaps you had a "friend" that was very catty or maybe even envious of you...or so you thought.  Perhaps...just perhaps...its neither! Maybe you are the culprit! You don't trust women because you can't trust yourself. You are prone to bed another woman's man. Maybe you are prone to envy another female who could potentially steal YOUR shine. What do you think? My girlfriends have been in my life for a while and they are all bomb sistahs! Empowering Beautiful Successful Sexy Educated Great etc etc etc. There is not cattiness going on in my circle and if anyone is 'jealous' they do a great job of not showing it. They have an equal amount of male and female friends. I'm sure that so called friend you had showed signs of negativity initially but you chose to stay their friend. Maybe you even took part in their 'untrustworthy' behavior. Did you help them stab someone in the back or help them lie while bedding someones husband? Did you think they wouldn't do the same to you? Don't get mad b/c you shat where you ate and now the chickens are coming home to roost. People know who are like them. They flock to those that are like them. People know who they can conduct shady business with. They smell another bullshitter. If you entertain this madness then birds of a feather, Honey! If women are bitchy to you then maybe YOUR ass is bitchy! Don't sit around a group of men and bash other females. They mistreat women because YOU are assisting them in doing so. Why bash us around ya boys? Are you tryna smother the competition? Are you tryna put in an early bid low-key? Hmph its what I call pre-whoring! 

This illogical behavior only keeps one from evolving, revolving, succeeding and progressing.

The difference b/w you and I is, when I see this negative behavior, I nip it in the bud immediately by  ending the potential friendship. Once people see that you don't mind their foolishness, it gives them free range to do whatever the hell they want and by you doing nothing about it, you can be at the end of their foolishness stick. When people show you who they are initially, believe them. Foolishness begets foolishness. Petty behavior condones petty behavior. Catty bitches know catty bitches. Birds of the same feather-----wear the same stilettos.

//signed//
The Cool & Calculated, Canny yet Uncatty Cat's Meow

Honey Can You Get That? No, I Got It

     Some days ago while in deep conversation with my friend, he utters the words, "Men have to feel wanted. You don't allow this to happen. This is maybe why they don't stick around." As offended as I was, it was a rather interesting statement. Was he right? Perhaps but merely in words not in concept. He went on to lovingly tell me how he felt about independent women. Some, he feels, are too independent and feel they don't need a man but in my opinion there is no such things as too independent. But I digress, maybe it is but in the defense of all "too independent" women out there, we have a reason to be. Some of us have grown accustomed to autonomy and conditioned to sovereignty through being single--for a very long time. I am one of those women. I have been in relationships and in some of those I was the primary doer. Hell, you may as well say I dated my damn self. My fault! I was the one that's done the most & said the most; gave the most & loved the most. Not in all of them but fairly the majority of them. When was my last relationship? Lets just say that I've seen more presidents in my single life than I have when I was boo'd up. Real talk and smh. Being single that long has positive and negative effects on you when it comes to dependency. Positively, you learn to depend on self, rely on self, do for self & be for self. Did I mention DO for self? Negatively, you learn to do for self, rely on self, do for self & be for self. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

I remember telling you about the guy that cut off our lil relationship (or lack thereof) because I didn't call him to help with the battery in my car or the other dude that dismissed me because I took MYSELF out for some steak and wine. I'm accustomed to doing for ME. It's not that I didn't trust them with my car or my hunger pangs. I am just used to feeding my belly and tending to my own vehicle. I did not think twice about calling either dude to satisfy my needs. This is how a lot of us (women) are. It's something we've grown used to, especially black women. We go MOST of our lives single these days. I'm not blaming anyone and I am by no means male bashing. For whatever reason we are single, we are single. There are somethings we can do about it and somethings we can't so we 'make-do' with self.  It's not to offend you. It's not that we feel you are not good enough to help us. It's not that we don't trust you will do what you say you will. It's not that we believe we don't need you. Do not continue to believe this bullshit. We do not do this to hurt you, offend you or shoo you off I assure you. A lot of times we are not conscious of this. Bring it to our attention. Don't expect us to rectify the problem over night, mind you, but if we wish for you to be in our life we will be receptive, adjust and move forward. Don't just up and jet b/c we are not making you feel "wanted". You can't expect me to gas my car by myself for ten years and then all of a sudden expect you to get out and do it if you're in my car. Its NOT on purpose. I am just used to opening my own door, planting my stilettos in the pavement, prancing to the gas vestibule and pumping my own shit. I'm not doing it with the attitude of "This negro ain't even get out the car to pump my shit" and I'm not doing it with the attitude of "I don't need him to do the shit I can do" or "I can pump better and/or faster then him anyway". My independence lacks vulnerability at the moment. Have a little patience and faith in us why don't you. I am not speaking for ALL women of course b/c you do have those co-dependent ones that won't even pick up a fork and feed themselves or screw in their own light bulb. Nah, I am not speaking for them. They are on their own.

Yeah I know what some of you maybe saying. "Let a man be a man" right? WRONG! That is one of the most dumbest pieces of advice known to--well, man! I can't possibly prohibit someone from doing what should be natural to him. Being a man should come as natural as using the bathroom. You can attempt to hold it all you want but when ya willie wants to blow, it will blow--naturally. Being a man should not be second nature but first nature.

I am not making excuses for us independent women but I felt the need to explain OUR side of the story. Things are not always what they seem. Independence knows no vulnerability-or does it? I guess there has to be a balance. The issue is finding when and where to tip the scale. WE can't do everything alone, we can only attempt to. We relish in the idea of being superwoman but that's an idea. We can be hard as platinum but its not to slight you. We break too but we are real. So, when I fall, please feel free to catch me anytime. I maybe a lil reluctant to be rescued at first but later, I'll be glad you saved my stilettos :)


//signed//
The Cat's Purr

The “Real dishes break. That's how you know they're real.”
― Marty Rubin

Conditional Acceptance

For some strange reason people ‘love’ to consider themselves a person that can and will accept anyone for who they are. Truth be told, the majority of them are not being honest with themselves.  I can’t count the many times I’ve experienced or have known someone to experience an intruder. An intruder, to me, is a person who wants to change something about you that makes you that unique individual that has something different to contribute to society. These interlopers want to burglarize your feelings, intrude on your emotions, infiltrate your beliefs, obstruct your truths & violate your damn shoe closet! It’s always that, “I love everything about you. I just wish you were___” or there’s the “I do accept and adore you as a person. I just pray that you___”. Then there is the “You’re everything that I want in a mate/friend/lover. But we can’t be that if you continue to___.” I want to know one thing. What the hell happened to accepting a mofo for who they are? Hell, forget love, whatever happened to ‘unconditional like’? It’s sad to believe that a person only accepts you only if you don’t accept you. Shit I accept me. I suggest you do the same!

Case #1(named changed to protect the ignorant)

I meet Kynan over a year ago. He approached me with, “Ms Lady, you are too sweet for words and you are working that hair mama!” (those who really knows me knows that I hate being called that but I won’t shoo him off for something that is evidently in his personality so I overlook it) Anyway, I obliged him with a lil convo, a few sips of coffee and eventually ‘the digits’. The brotha appeared to have a lil something going on, a lil sense even, his personality was very tolerable and I must admit that he was quite pleasurable to the eye so I was cool.  After about a month of tag teaming tongues and surface scratching, he decided he wanted to take it a lil further with me. “Perhaps this is good”, I thought. NEGATIVE!

His ass: I cannot see how any man has not captured your heart and saved you for himself yet. This is so hard to believe. You have a good head on your shoulders,  a beautiful spirit to make that lovely face, a personality to die for and we won’t even talk about the kitchen skills! So since those dumb brothas don’t know a good woman from a hole in the wall, I’ma step out on a limb & attempt to make you my own. (cue in Sunshine Anderson’s only hit)

 Me: Hmmm..sounds considerable.  We can ponder on this a bit. 

So things were going pretty good until one day he asked if I ever considered growing my hair out. *side eye* Me: Umm no. I’m actually on my way to get a haircut as we speak. A hush came over the room…or should I say the phone. I attempted to pick up the conversation when he cut me off with a, “Why?” Now I say to myself, “Now self? And myself said, “Huh? —Why do I need to explain to HIM why I don’t wanna grow MY hair out? Last time I checked I was an adult. Did something change?” Myself answered with a “Bish NO!” So I gave him the answer that myself gave me. He didn’t like that answer. Him: So you mean if you was my girl you wouldn’t grow your hair out for me?

Me: 1^st I’m not a girl Sweetcheeks. I’m a woman. 2ndly, why would you want me to grow my hair out?

Him: Cuz I love long hair and that’s really all I’ll accept. (how cute of him)

Me: Well I’m sorry to disappoint you but I won’t be growing my hair out. I’m me with or without long hair. Last time I checked, the hair never made the person and lastly Boo, when you met me my hair was this length and its one of the first things you complimented so what happened?

Him: So, I take that as you won’t grow it out? (Is it me or is he hard of hearing?)

 Anyway, to make a long hair or story short, his ass went about his merry lil way citing that we didn’t have the same interest and that he was interested in creating something with me but I was interested in myself. LMAO Naw dude you were interested in my hair, not ME!! Press Bitch!

Case #2 (again, name changed to protect him cuz he doesn't know any better)

Ok so it’s been a while since I’ve ‘felt’ a male companion. I mean felt as in think of him as much as I think of shoes or food, wonders what he's doing a lot and so forth. Ya know…like really feeling a person? Don’t act all brand new, you know what I mean! Anywho, I’d recently built a wall. That wall is not to keep anyone out but merely to see who has the balls to climb over it. We all have to do this at one point. So anyway, I came across “Donovan” (I love this name). Our first date included a self-debate on religion. I say self debate cuz it was something that was near and dear to HIM, not me so he was primarily tryna convince HIMSELF that his belief reign supreme. lmao yeah ok...don't we all. He's Christian. I'm not. It’s not that I don't believe in a higher being or beings but I feel like it's a belief and no one should be trynaOk so back to our regularly scheduled programming. Now normally I woulda left his ass right there at the damn table. I don't debate with people I barely know. I've got bigger fish to fry. But for some reason I stayed seated, munched my Italian side salad & listened to this guy ‘judge’ me. Again, how cute.  As time went on, I spent a little time with him & again for some reason I really ENJOYED this dude. I normally only enjoy time with…well…me and there are things about him that I definitely wouldn’t tolerate from any other person but him….interesting…..hmm. Now if you know me, you know I think a lot and analyze e’thang. Part of me said to stick with it but the other part of me said to be like horny & delusional dude and pull out. I listened to the latter part of me. Am I a punk? Nah Honey, my heart does NOT pump kool aid but I am definitely keep’n it guarded. I’ve learned my damn lesson. Needless to say, he resurfaced. It kinda made me feel really special. Pick up where we left off? Perhaps

Fastforward: He’s been out of the country briefly and we communicate more than a few times a week. I was feeling good, thinking of him, planning events for his return….ya know the whole 5 yards (not the whole 9 cuz I’m not completely convinced yet). I woke up one morning, preparing to talk to him, send him pics, tell him how my day was and etc. And as soon as I begun to feel the mushiness inside he throws the “why are you not Christian” again. SMDH Lawd why me?! This was just 2 damn good 2 be friggin true! He obviously did not get the memo or his ass didn’t read it to its entirety the first time. I will not go here with him again. I don’t juggle my beliefs nor do I try to justify or explain them. They are mine alone!

My answer: I feel that religion separates people and have them focusing on things that they really have no knowledge of the outcome. People miss out on blessings due to religion sometimes.

I let him say his piece as usual and get all his ‘truths’ out on the table. I didn’t argue with him or become confrontational. I am no longer a little girl. I will not fight over something that no one has control of. To make a long story short, he too says I’m what he wants in a mate and he even mentioned the marriage word but…..yes, again, there was a “but”. How did you know? LOL He went on to tell me how the Bible says that relationships are supposed to be equally yoked. Funny. I thought it referred to marriages being equally yoked but you know how some Christians are; they only give you half of the scripture or the edited-judgemental version.

 

My response: Marriages fail everyday b/w people that are equally yoked. (He should know that from personal experience & I'll leave it at that)

  
 He continues to plead his case I guess. Then I pretty much told him that he can discontinue having me in his life if he chooses and for him to find that equally yoked partner. I’ve learned that things like this foster negative energy, bad emotions & waste time; time that I don’t have. Well, I do have the time but I refuse to waste it on something as nonsensical as this. I'd rather get to loving. If he wishes to compromise his happiness than who am I to stand in his way eh? It's his happiness--not mine. I no longer attempt to influence anyone to keep ME around. I am worth it. If ya don’t see that than kick rocks in flip flops shawty. Your loss! He wanted to remain friends. I was reluctant but we’ll see.  Is he still around? Yes. Do I still see him in the same capacity as I did previously? Let’s just say that I’ve added  another brick to my wall. If he dares to climb over it then I say ,"Buddy, take your best shot and good luck.!" I admire his passion for his belief but homie I will not compromise myself for you or anyone else!

Why do we insist on risking our happiness for conditional acceptance? It’s that “I’ll only accept you if you do this, say that or be this” attitude. Who would even want to be with someone that sways with the blowing of the wind? Why surround yourself with a person with a feeble mind and will do anything to get accepted? It doesn’t remotely make sense to me. It’s like changing a person. If you change a person’s whole makeup into something you wish for them to become then will this be the same person you fell in love or strong ‘like’ with? Most likely not! I was sure to tell “Donovan” that I accepted him any way he is regardless if he sometimes appears to be off his rocker. SMDH I still smile when he calls, blushes when he says he misses me & think of him every now and again. I do all of this from behind my wall of course.

//signed//
The FIXED Cat’s Meow

If I lessen who I am because of you and compromise myself to keep you then I’m not being who I am for you. That means I can’t be who I really am with you and baby that just ain’t me.  ~elvadaseleithia