Battle of the Sexes

Oftentimes, men have a tendency to collectively attack the more feminine gender. Then, there are times when women brunch over the evil doings of men. There are also times when either sex bash the ones of the same sex. I think you know where I'm going with this. This bash fest usually comes from a place of hurt, experienced rejection or disappointment for being misused, abused and perhaps a little unappreciated. Women claim all men are dogs. Men claim we don't know a good man when we see one. Both feel that the other doesn't really appreciate a 'good' mate at all. I'd like to beg to differ. It is all about connection. Being good doesn't make a person physically, emotionally and spiritually connected to you. A good man can be paired to an equally good woman but if there is no connection it can appear to look as though one is not appreciative of another. I've seen relationships were both were appreciative of the other and the gratitude was reciprocal but were they IN love with each other? No. And that's what they both agreed to. Complacency is why they stayed together. If there is no balance there is no appreciation. I say yes. There are women that appreciate and some that don't. One can't just be good to be appreciated and being good doesn't mean love will be reciprocated. I think that's arrogance. Kudos to the women that do and good luck to the ones that don't. It is arrogant for us to believe that one HAS to love us back because we are good. Who defines good? Me or that person? We can't say since someone doesn't love us back that makes them unappreciative. It just makes you not the one for them. There is no balance. The issue is we are allowing society to define what "good" is and what "good" we should accept. So, since we have everything checked on the checklist that makes us good according to society than we feel that we are entitled to love from the person we want love from. When they don't reciprocate it then we say they are unappreciative. Ok I'll shut up now. Stop chasing people who have clearly shown signs of not reciprocating what you are putting out. That doesn't make a person unappreciative of you. It makes you unappreciative of you.

This was a quick thought.

Ponder it and carry on,

//signed//

The Cat's Meow

What The Hell Is It That I Want!?

The thing is most people don't know what they really want. They wish, they daydream--but most don't know what they truly want. We are so discouraged from truly wanting--from truly asking what we want leading some to believe that it is selfish to want. Society put this mess out there but don't believe it! When we know what we want we take the necessary steps to obtain it. There is nothing wrong with wanting even if you have everything (What is everything anyway?).

Our wants doesn't have to be some big, bold or powerful request. Our wants doesn't even have to be realistic---shocking isn't it? A want is simply something one desires to have and whether it is obtainable or not really is up to you--or is it. Shit, at this moment I desire to have an ice cream cone from McDonald's and black, grey, yellow or red 2009 Porsche Carrera. Yesterday, I wanted a Porterhouse steak and a few kisses on my neck. The point is that our desires change and that's OK. Our desires can be simplistic which is also ok. We are human beings--we want things and that's friggin' OK, too. It isn't selfish to want. It isn't even selfish to want things for YOURSELF! Who else is gonna want for your ass but you? How dare anyone tell you it's selfish or ungrateful to want!


Ask yourself THE question. What is it that I truly want? It may not even be a question you can answer at this very moment. Kudos to you if you can! When we recognize what we want we are more prone to ask for what we want which could be hard for some but I'll tackle that in another post. When we ask for what we want the universe opens up and conspires to work with us to access what we want. It works to align us with the things we truly desire. We just have to ask. Ever get upset about something you secretly desired but didn't get just to realize that it is because you didn't ask? Isn't that one of the worse feelings EVAH?!!?!? The nail on the coffin is when that thing was hella obtainable! I remember wanting this antique bronze peacock once from someone I knew. I was too afraid to ask in fear of the rejection. I feared it wasn't obtainable. It was an antique. It was beautiful. It was heavy. It was strong. It was BOLD. I didn't ask for it. I moved onto something else that was more obtainable to me--at least in my head. I watched that peacock for several weeks until one day I visited that antique shop again. I peeped this little old lady admiring my peacock. "She betta NOT try and get my peacock!" I said to myself. She turns around, inquired about it to the owner before boldly asking if she could have it since there was no price tag on it. The owner explained where she got it, how long she's had it, how she hated peacocks but couldn't bring herself to toss the darn thing and next thing ya know to my chagrin the owner told her she could HAVE it!! WTF?! Did she just GIVE my damn peacock to this old hag!? I can't even communicate how mad I was! Who the hell was I mad at? Who or what could I be mad at beside the scared lil Diva looking in the antique mirror in front of me-- ME! I was mad at me because I didn't ask! It was obtainable and I didn't ask!!! What I learned here is that there is no harm or shame in asking for anything. You may just get the surprise of your life so be careful. I meant that in a good way. So, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that you just may get it? What is it then? Now, you go ask for it. Go on--ASK! Don't be afraid. It is OK. I've got your back. Go ahead--ASK!


//signed//
The loving, illuminating and motivating Cat's Meow!

A Salute to an Ophthalmological Pioneer 

Whether it is for bragging rights or to get it all over with, there is just something about being first isn't it? Just ask a lil motorman's daughter by the name of Patricia Bath from the mean streets of Harlem.

Patricia Bath is the first African-American woman to receive a patent for a medical purpose. Mind blowing right! The first! Her father was the first black subway motorman for New York City so being first seems to run in her veins. It is only right for her to become the first woman on faculty at the Jules Stein Eye Institute at UCLA. She was also served her residency in ophthalmology at the prestigious New York University--the first African-American to do so! Madam Bath was on a roll. Somebody, like me, loves being first ya dig?

Can you read this post? Can you read it clearly with or without glasses? Ok well.....does your granny have cataracts? Grand-pappy? Ya dog? Oh whatever, I'm sure you know at least one entity with cataracts right? I know a few--ok more than a few but my point is that this woman of distinction--this doctor--this educator-- this innovator invented the Laserphaco Probe for cataract treatment and she did it way back in 1986 and patented the device in 1988 making her the first African-American female doctor to receive a patent for a medical device! Now, why did we not know know this? Don't pretend you knew! Social media definitely wasn't around then and we know that it is the main source of information these days.  Let me hip you to some African-American game real quick.

The gorgeous and talented Dr. Patricia Bath

For the innovative American Institute for the Prevention of Blindess co-founder, earning her first award for scientific research at the age of sixteen, the sky wasn't the limit--there was no limit for this determined New Yorker. To prevent obscurity through unreachable barriers created by society for minorities, Dr. Bath grabbed her determination and research and headed to Europe! With support from the Laser Medical Center of Berlin, the Rothschild Eye Institute of Paris and the Loughborough Institute of Technology in England, Bath was able to achieve what she states as her "personal best" in research and laser science. Her cataract research and passion preventing blindess led her towards the invention of the laserphaco-probe.

Now, what in the dickens is a Laserphaco whatcha-call-it anyway? Hey, be respectful. She's an creator and she is sensitive about her s**t! It called the La-ser-phac-o Probe! 

The Cataract Laserphaco Probe was designed to painlessly remove cataracts from a patient's eyes in an efficient and timely manner through laser technology. This method quickly replaced previous methods within the medical field and went on to change the game of eye surgery. Within time, Dr. Bath was able to restore the vision to patients who had been blind for more than 40 years. Wait--what!? Man, that is long time without being able to see the flowers and sunlight. The laserphaco probe is now used internationally to treat the cataract eye disease. 

//signed//

Elle-the FIRST blogger to introduce Dr. Patricia Bath

(don't judge me-I'm not petty. I'm just the first.....ha!) 

The Secret Is In The Sauce!

I woke up this AM with a memory of some kids excluding me from their punk ass click in primary school because I didn't want to play a certain schoolyard game called "Mama's Bread Burning". That game was a group of kids, usually all girls, that would get in a circle, lock hands or arms while surrounding another individual. That individual would try to break through the circle while the group of kids taunt them singing "My mama's bread is burning and she can't get out. My mama's bread is burning and she can't get out" over and over and over again. They would lock arms real tight, lock their legs together or do anything to prevent that person from breaking through, Hell, I've even seen some kids cross their damn eyes. Now, how in the hell can a crossed-eye prevent a damn prison break? SMH Teachers would watch closely enforcing discipline when necessary, gossip about the teacher's aides and work on lesson plans. As a kid I would always wonder if they were ever really listening--not hearing us--but listening to us. I don't think they really were.

Even as a lil Diva I thought so deeply about things. Some of the things didn't deserve the thoughts I gave them and some of the things did. At this particular time I remember telling them--and showing them- that I didn't wanna be a part of their little psychotic, matricidal game! Now, why did I just get upset while typing this? I have no idea. Maybe it is because I feel that people don't really listen to the games children play or really see the shows the kids watch because if so one would ask why the hell would you want to trap ya moms in a house and prevent her from making it out alive? Who on earth even came up with this darn game and why wasn't she or he even questioned about the goings-on in his or her head? What happens when the child play this so much in their heads that they decide to actually trap mom in the house and prevent her from escaping? What then? 

Do we understand that our mouths are true manifestors? Is that even a word? I don't care. It will be a word today.  Our minds will think and believe anything we vocalize. What we think will often come to fruition whether it is negative or positive which is why we should be more cautious of what we say and thing. We want to carry out what we see sometimes, too. It's like a deep ass conditioning. It's why, when babysitting, I don't allow kids to watch cartoons or any of those shows that claim to be for children. I feel that cartoons start the initial programming of people (secondary to the shenanigans of the parents). This is where we learn to ostracize others that are not like us or accept and pair ourselves with one that we are familiar with--because they are like ourselves. While watching Alvin and the Chipmunks I noticed that Alvin, the popular chipmunk is paired with Brittany, the beautiful chipmunk. Theodore, the pleasurably plump chipmunk is paired with Eleanor, the one of HIS likeness. Then you have Simon, the smart one with glasses and known to be a nerd is paired with another bookworm of his caliber. The crazy part is I only remember Alvin's girlfriend's name because she was the 'main' damn female chipmunk! The one pushed in our faces as a kids b/c she is the one society accepts more. Am I looking too deep into this? Is it just a game the kids are playing? Is it really just a cartoon? Are there no hidden messages in there? Are they there on purpose? Maybe or maybe not but I won't chance it. No ma'am and no suh! These aren't just  obso's. This is real life programming we are talking 'bout here. Pay a-damn-ttention folks! Stop drinking the kool-aid and stirring the damn sauce. Watch out cuz the secret is there! I could go on and on about this subject buy my stomach is growling. Until then.....Look beyond the pretty colors, baby talk and animations and dig into the sauce!

//Signed//

The Cat's Meow

A Little Rhyming and Less Reasoning

I'm one of the few people that refuses to believe that everything happens for a reason. Things happen b/c they just happen. Every instance isn't here to teach us a lesson, it is not always karma and it is not always just a result or reflection of something yet to come. Every person doesn't enter our life with a purpose and every person that exits your life isn't a person "that just didn't deserve or get you". The sun rises because it is time. A ladybug lands on your shoulder because it felt safe to do so. Everyone is not going to like you because it is life. It is not because they feel like you are doing better at this thing called life than they are or its is not because they want to be YOU. It is not that deep. There is no need to find a spiritual connection with everything--no need to conjure up scientific reasoning in all matters--no reason to divide by 12, multiply by 50, take away 20 just to carry the 1 in every situation. Everyone doesn't profit from their hard work. You have people that die on their grind and you have people that have never worked a day in their life but still prosper (Yes, I've seen it). Maybe it is luck, maybe it is not but it still just happens. We feel like we are not complete until we figure out the rhyme to the damn reason all of the time. We have a tendency to miss out on important things this way. NO! The hummingbird did not fly directly in front of you as a sign of something. You just have to be in each other's paths. Appreciate the beauty of it and move on. Listen to the song it sings and move on. Acknowledge its presence and move on, just move on.....MOVE ON!

I'm Just ELLE.......

My Belief is Better Than Your Belief---Shananigans!

I think there are too many people spending far too much time trying to dispel the beliefs of others. How can anyone live their best life this way? We spend so much time debating and studying about "how we got here" and "who made us" or "whose belief system is the 'realest'" and "whose 'most high' is the highest"  that we fail to live life to its fullest potential--our OWN fullest potential. Belief is confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof. Now, tell me why on earth do people continue to 'debate' about someone else's opinion of the truth? Why debate and fight and discriminate over something that can't be proven?  Isn't there more to life than this? How about spending more time on something that leaves no room for debate or interpretation like homelessness, racism, child abuse, failing physical and mental health, unemployment and corrupt governments? These things are not things that has to be studied to be proven or not. They are real! You got spiritual-ness, religious-ness, conscious-ness, enlightened-ness...hell it's too many damn 'nesses'! Shit, when you die, its not like you can come back and tell us whose belief system is more real anyway. Use your own logic & live your own truths and leave everyone to their own devices. Love them anyway. Learn compassion and tolerance. Its so much better that way.

The Nerve of Fools!

You know what chaps my hide (you’re probably asking what does NOT chap my hide but so!)--- Societal thinking?! Why do people insist on living in the archaic time? I have a tendency to believe that they want to have such thoughts simply because they don’t WISH to think otherwise.

One question I’m referring to is when people, especially men, ask any woman in scrubs or a white coat (duh) if they are a nurse. If they see that any female that works in a medical treatment facility they automatically assume she changes bedpans or answer to some male counterpart with the MD behind his name. Why are people choosing to think this way? Do they feel that this is a challenge to MALEhood  cuz surely women have legally and scholastically been holding medical degrees since 1849 beginning with Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell. Don’t act brand-damn-new! You know good and well there are more female doctors than male doctors even though research shows that they are still making $50,000 less then their male counterparts even in positions of the upper echelons but hey that’s another blog entry. Secondly, don’t show your ignorance. You know for Pete’s sake (whoever he is) that nurses do NOT wear white coats you ‘tard! At least –PRETEND like you have your wits about you! Show some darn respect for people’s job. If you don’t know just ask and do come outta your trap with a dumb ass question!

 

This reminds me of when I donned that great American governmental-fatigued uniform. When one find out me or anyone of my friends served in the US Air Force the first dumbass question from their pie hole would be, “Do you fly planes?” Really fuqwad!? I swear I see why some civilians wouldn’t make it past the first question on the ASVAB: What is your name? SMH Oh the level of ignorance. NO! We don’t all get up at 3am! NO! Everyone in the Air Force doesn’t fly planes! These are the people I normally cock my eyes at and give the rudest answer possible! THINK you moron! Its simple! I don’t want to hear the excuse of “I didn’t know” or “I was just curious.” Often times, one can answer their own questions simply by using the cognitive skills given them. This is why I disagree that there are no stupid questions. BULLSHIT! Yes there are! Another example is when my troop and I went out for lunch. She was in uniform and about 7 months preggers when some voluntarily mentally challenged moron asked, “Wow, you can be pregnant in the military?” I responded with, “No this is her last meal before she is burned at the stake for doing something that is apart of human nature! Now GTFOH! What the hell do you think happens—they sterilize all of the women or something? Clearly you couldn’t pass the ASVAB!” ugh! Say what you wish but we really hate dumb questions as does anyone but we strongly hate those same dumb questions that everyone asks! At least be creative and ask something no one else has! To help yall out here is a list of shit not to ask us and answers you may get if you ask the RIGHT veteran:

 

Questions you should never ask Iraq veterans-or any damn veteran!

1. So, how WAS Iraq?

It was paradise getting shot at and all and I hope do it again soon, thanks for asking.

2. Did you like… have to go to Iraq?

No I had a choice, it’s called “Go to war or go to jail”.

3. Did you kill anybody?

Of course! Babies, puppies, you name it, I’ve killed it!

4. Did you shoot anybody?

See above.

5. Did they(The Army) train you before sending you out to war?

No, they just handed us guns and said “Get the Hajis!”

6. Were you scared?

Of course I freaking was, stop asking dumb questions.

7. Did they give you REAL guns?

Nah, we were just playing a big game of laser tag with the insurgents. The BEST part is you can reset when you die, awesome right?

9. Did you lose any buddies over there?

WOW! I personally never had the “PLEASURE” of losing a buddy over there. But please do not ask this question to another veteran.

10. Who are the insurgents fighting over there?

Hell if I know, people that shoot at us.

11. Did you ever get shot at?

Nope, and if I did, I was either asleep in the turret or don’t remember.

12. What you guys EAT over there?

Scorpions, shish kabobs, sand, etc. No seriously man, we ate AMERICAN food, it ain’t like Hollywood, we don’t live off the wild.

15. Oh, you went to Iraq, my friend “so & so” went there also. Did you know him?

Yeah, yeah! I know him… amongst the thousands of OTHER soldiers that are there, in fact, we’re freaking bunk mates!

Bonus Question: How has going to Iraq impacted your life?

*crickets chirp*

1. Oh dude, Iraq? Was it hot??

No way man, its just the desert!

2. But you were never in any REAL danger, right? (To female vets)

No, the Army let me and my vagina lives in a protective bubble. Obviously, some people don’t watch current events! At least 100 women have died in combat! Stay your ass off of Facebook and Instagram and watch some darn CNN or something!

 

Think for your darn-self! This maybe hard considering the way we use our brain cells up on unnecessary things these days but if you try really hard, you can answer your own damn question!

 

When did fools get such nerve?! Hmph I don't know, hell, I'm Just Elle...