Wild Things Do NOT Make My Heart Sing!

What on earf is this world coming to? Don't answer that. Why did my co-counselor just tell me today that he has Sugar gliders in his home?! Now I say to myself, "Now self?" And myself says, "Huh". Is he telling me that he has Alvin, Simon and gotdern Theodore taking up residence in his home?" WTF? Do they at least sing?! First of all, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing can live in my home that does not pay rent, electricity, water or trash bill to be there. Times are hard and we are in a recession so if you c-o-h-a-b-i-t-a-t-e in my domicile, you better believe that you will be paying some damn bills! Hell naw, u ain't gonna be laying up on my couch all willy nilly funking up the joint and not pay any bills!

Secondly, how in the sam hills do you take something out of it's original habitat and encage it in ur room? (insert blank stare) How would you feel if I took you outta ur home, threw u in da back seat of my dusty Altima, and encaged you in my damn shoe box!? Would you like that? How about NO unless u some sick freak. Hell, I'm claustrophobic so u know my ass ain't trying to be caged up. How is this normal? Human beings are so gotdamn arrogant that we feel that we can just take some damn wildlife against it's own free and humble will and just lock it up in some cage and watch it. The damn gliders oughta bite the everloving shit outta him! What the hell is he doing with it in his room? They, for damn sure aint for entertainment. Those little shits bark, bite, pee down ur arm and keep you up at night. Who could possibly find entertainment in these shenanigans? I hear it takes about 15 minutes to even prepare a meal for these lil rodents. WTH? We won't talk about their asses shitting lil pellets all over the room. Oh the smell....*gulps* I think I just threw up in my mouth a lil bit!

Why, all of a sudden, this scenerio put me in the mind of an ex? Ate e'rything, shitted up a storm, funked up the joint and kept a bitch up all night with foolishness and mayhem! I should now change his ID in my phone to Human Sugar Glider.

*change ASSHOLE to Human Sugar Glider*



Ok back to our regularly scheduled programming....
This creature belongs in the wild. WILD meaning not domesticated! Not for home usage! Not to be housed as a pet! It means BITE THE SHIT OUTTA YOU! I hope for the life of me that this dude does not have a girlfriend or boyfriend depending on what he's into. Who would wanna make love to someone with this lil big-eyed critter staring at them barking?! I mean I'll try anything once but I refuse to perform an amateur porn show for a chipmunk looking critter! I just damn refuse....well how much money are we talking here? Not only is he harvesting Suger Gliders but his ass has like 2 cats and a damn dog I hear! Stop the gotdern madness! I can't talk about it anymore. My side hurts from laughing. Now I have the strong urge to watch the lil creature in a red shirt with an A on the front of it and his 2 orphaned brothers. Oh well, till next time folks.

//signed//
The Domesticated Cat's Meow

Emotional Workout in ya Mental Gym

Nowadays, I think 2 many people spend 2 much time strengthening & toning their bodies and little to no time at all strengthening & toning their minds & hearts. If there were an Emotional Workout or a Mental Gym would you buy a membership & workout everyday? Yeah, muscles are fine to look at but a flabby mind is horrible to feel and pretty useless. Some possess the mind of a jellyfish but have arms of steel, the abs of bricks and the heart of putty. They have no compassion or concern for the well-being of others and are immensely oblivious to the passion and happiness of themselves. You'd rather show your body then to show your heart? Why? Is there anything captured there or are you afraid of vulnerability? Some of us have this nonsensical belief that demonstrating none or possessing the lack of emotion makes us "hard". When was the last time you engaged in a relationship with your body...ya know, the part that matters? Have your heart and mind had a real conversation lately? What did they talk about? Did you find that you suffer from emotional constipation or expressive stultification? Have you learned to forgive or do you still hold grudges in that flabby lil heart of yours? I've known plenty of people that boast about harvesting grudges. Holding grudges is like piling all of your disdain for people in a potato sack. Eventually that burlap bag will be full and become heavier and heavier until it's unbareable or will it matter since you are "hard and strong" physically and all? Have you read a book to strengthen your mind or to expand your vocabulary lately? Instead of vomitting to stay skinny, how about absorbing inner peace to stay full? While you are jogging up the canyon, try bringing down a little faith with you. Have a lil compassion with your green tea and actively listen to your inner iPod before plugging APPLE earplugs into your ears. You might even learn something about yourself!

//signed//
The Assertively Suggestive Cat's Meow