For the past few weeks, the Cat's Meow has been feeling a lil down in the litter box. Yeah, it happens to the best of us...even me. I can't believe that just purred outta my mouth. smh Like....my thoughts are undesirable and sporadic and I feel like the contents of the litter box--shitty, pissy, rocky, smelly--u get the picture. I'm trying my hardest to think positive thoughts and broaden my faith but for some reason its a bit more complicated than usual. My father used to say that nobody garnished faith like his baby girl (dat's me). Even as a child, I didn't believe in failure, loss, negativity, can'ts or have nots.
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| I'm a shitty mess right now! |
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Lately, it's been a bit different. It's hard to think positive when every time you do, it's combated with at least 2 negatives and ONE of those negatives win. After so many negatives u begin to wonder if the positive still exist. Open a business only for it to shut down. Get over one illness only go gain three more due to the primary illness. I wanna kick the dog cuz he's pissing me off. Learning you are paying $400 in rent MORE than your neighbors for the same amount of space and speaking of space--someone else is in mine and though I love her to death, I NEED IT BACK! Where does it end? Negativity is like that salt in the blue box--when it rains, it pours! So, lately I've been questioning my existence, wondering which talent of mine will take off--if it takes off, life's purpose, lack of sleep when I'm dog ass tired, going home to NO ONE for the sixth year in a row and etc. And whoever said college degrees begets lucrative employment obviously didn't anticipate this crappy economy. If I hear another employer tell me that I am over-qualified for a position, I will commence to being very un-kitty-like! Now of course this is just scratching the surface of my woes but who wants to hear about all of em? We've all got our own problems right. But back to the purpose of this post--life has seriously thrown me curve balls and boulders. I'm trying to keep the faith but that's going nowhere. I'm constantly thinking, crying, working things out, crying, letting people go, crying, questioning people's motives, crying, rearranging this, maneuvering that and so on and so forth oh and did I mention crying? Oh ok just checking. Man I swear I've been in the ring with Mike Tyson AND Lennix Lewis! But Yeah, every now and then I feel this way. It's not often thank the heavens but I guess this year it's my turn. SMH Anyhow, to shorten up this depression of a post, while sitting here contemplating my next move & wondering if ANYTHING will work out in my favor, I get a text. I didn't wanna answer it, look at it, didn't care who it was from & didn't give a damn what they had to say buuuutttttt....of course curiosity killed the kitty cuz I picked up the phone, nonchalantly I may add, and clicked on the message. The sender was one who always feel my sadness, hears my cries from a distance and sees my tears from miles away--my daddy! Hold the hell up! Who da hell taught his ass howta text? I'll get back to that later. Anywho, his text was short simple & like him--to the damn point. "Be strong and brave. U will win. From daddy." Just when I thought I had NO tears left, his ass add fuel to the fire. It was that Super Unleaded Plus fuel but it was fuel nonetheless. It's weird how he knows these things. I didn't tell him anything! It's always been this way.
SO, needless to say those words of encouragement come thru right on time. Encouragement comes from the strangest of places and the least expecting moments sometimes. It's time for me to climb on out of this litter box anyway. It's quite smelly and these lil rocks are hurting my damn ass...literally! I'm not fully recovered of course but I'm getting there. When a negative thought enters I cuss it right on out! I'll be damned and the hell u say! I guess I'll get back to
trying to think
ing positive. I hope this works. What am I saying!? It WILL WORK. Who am I to question the first man to hear my cry and the first man to wipe my tear even today while he is miles away. I'm not to question it at all.
It's true what they say-------->>>>>>
//signed//
The Pissy Cat's Meow
