I See You, Do You See ME?

One of my throwbacks....(slightly elementary)



Should I stay, should I go?
Should I question or should I know?
Do I feel or let it be?
Should I heal and set it free?
I ponder this, I question that.
I wonder where your heart is at.
I see you, I see me
I see us then I see...She
Been here before but I let it be
Bit me in the ass, woe is me

Prayed for the days our eyes would meet
A love so soft but bittersweet
Trying to be patient but can't sit still
Wanna be next, not sure if I will
Smoke in my eyes to the 10th degree
But I still see you, do you me?

Not my shell but deep within
Behind my eyes, beneath my skin
Forget my talk, rememba' my speech
Forget my aim but think of my reach
Can't be too scared but can't be too sure
Just only hope that love endures
You saw us and I saw we
And I saw u but did you didn't ME?



e. Seleithia Woods

There's FAITH and then there's that other thing.

It's the substance of things hoped for & the evidence of things not seen. Well, at least this is how the Hebrews defined FAITH. I guess you can say that. I'd like to think, perhaps, that's it's not belief without proof but merely trust without reservation. Hmph...good old' reservation. The uncertainty and the apprehensiveness of it all.

I used to have a lot of faith. Faith that things will work out. Faith that all people are good. Faith that situations are not as complicated as they seem. But then too much shit started hitting the fan and blew every-damn-where, every-damn-day so unexpectedly and when wind hits shit, u know it permeates the air and makes you gag. I either began losing my ground or I forgot to shine and polish my faith gun. Either way, I lost faith somewhere in the Forest of Falter or on the Island of Incertitude. Perhaps its in the closet hidden behind my plethora of shoes or in my trunk of incredulity. Hell, I don't know where the hell I left it. All I know is there is a disconnect somewhere and I aim to put the pieces back together.

I'd like to think that I'm a realist. I tend to view things as they really are. I accept things as I see them, when I see them and where I see them. But then again, I'm Aquarius. Our heads are always in the clouds. So, my question is can a realist have faith? I'd like to say, yes. I'm one of those people--used to be anyway. Hey, I said I'm working on it! Don't judge me, just listen. In his sermons, my father would often hit on the parable of moving mountains. If you had as much faith as the grain of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. Hmm...
Judging by the mustard seed I now wear around my neck, the size isn't much. It's practically the size of the pointy end of a pencil--ya know the lead part. You can barely feel it or see it. You would probably go cross-eyed if you tried to look at it in the palm of your hand. That small huh? Now, have you ever tasted a mustard seed? Its tiny but packs a hell of a punch. Infinitesimal in size with an immeasurable impact. So, why is it so hard for me to garnish that wee bit amount of faith? Just having the idea of faith should be good enough right? Perhaps I've become fearful of faith. Sounds counter intuitive huh? Maybe I am fearing that if I had the wee bit amount of faith in something and that something still went awry then I'd be angry at faith. I mean who or what can I be angry at if what I had faith in took a nose dive? Faith? Hell, besides that, I'd be angry at myself and no one likes to be angry at themselves. Then you'd have to blame yourself. Who really wants to do that? Funny but I think that's it. Yeah you're laughing but I truly think I've found my truth in all of this. Is there a such thing as failed faith? Can faith fail you? Perhaps is it I that has failed faith. Hmph maybe faith never went anywhere, I just failed to acknowledge it. Perchance it is I that got lost on the Isle of Incertitude or in that Faltering Forest. Hmm...

As I've stated, lately I've been wearing my mustard seed charm everyday. Every time I begin to think negatively or faithless about something, I grab it and hold on tight until my though change, even for a minute. I clutched it so hard in my sleep last night that I woke up with sore fingers--minus my arthritic pain. Anyway, its a process. I must trust the process. Believe the process. Have faith in the process.  And right now, I feel that it's gonna be a bumpy ride. So, I'm still wearing my stilettos!

The title of this entry is called There is FAITH and then there's that other thing. If you haven't figured out what that other thing is then perhaps you didn't get the gist of this post. Log off, think about it, come back and read it again. SMH

//signed//
The Faithless Cat's Meow

Burglars In My Bed

My bed grew somewhat crowded last night. Discouragement crept in before I hit REM, well I never hit REM but I know you get the picture. Uncertainty slid in on the other side of me and man was it snoring--loudly! I attempted to sleep again. Tell me why did they both decide to have a complete conversation right in the middle of me going there? I slept for no more than half an hr at a time but in my sleep all I could hear was the chorus to Rihanna's "Diamonds". Shine bright like a diamond, shine bright like a diamond played over & over until I wanted to scream under my breath. Off & on this song would play in my head. I swear it was in cahoots with the intruders in my bed. Detachment tried to creep his little way under the sheets but I kicked his ass out just in time. I'll be damn if I lose anymore shut eye to another impostor. The two in my bed were already conspiring to keep me up until the wee hours of the morning.

One part of me was listening to Diamonds while the other part of me tried to hone in on the rap session of my unwanted back-seater drivers. I had no idea what brought this on--or do I? Ah yes, it was a text I received a few hours earlier. It disturbed me. It probably shouldn't have, at least that's how he puts it but nonetheless, it did. Shine bright like a diamond is playing again. So, who or what do I actually listen to? I know I shine bright as hell but am I that bright where my intruders decided to cop a squat for the night? Do I listen to them because of the loud talking and the interesting things they are saying?

To make matters worse, Discontent, Impatience & Naivete decided to barge in, sit at the edge of the bed & turn my damn tv on! Now how in the hell are they able to turn it on in one flip when it took me a week to do so!? Ugh the freaking nerve! 5 interlopers in my damn bed WITH that damn Rihanna! This can't be real. All of these visitors for what? Needless to say, I got NO sleep. I didn't get to dream. I tossed & turned all night & Discouragement, Uncertainty, Discontentment, Impatience & Naivete all snored until the cows came home. Today is Tuesday, the day I dubbed "IDontGiveADamn" day & guess what? No sleep definitely enhances the lack of concern for any-damn-thing!

//signed//
The Irritable Cat's Meow

So, Who Gets The Gold?



If I get this, I'll pray 4 nothing else...promise





Wish upon a shooting star but tell no one.

There's a question that continues to linger in my mind and his has been since I was a young Diva and for some reason, it's been harassing my thoughts a lot lately. If two people pray or wish for the same thing at the same time then whose wish is granted or prayer is answered? What if that thing is the only one thing at the moment? I think what sparked this question was the Olympic competition. I used to watch it every four years and I see competitors praying for the gold. There is only one gold per competition right? So, if both competitors are equally talented, hardworking and equally as deserving than why does one walk off with the gold and the other one doesn't? They both prayed with equal sincerity right? It baffles me really. What exactly is the determining factor of the win and the prayer? Someone told me yesterday, "Guess it depends on the wish & the people making the wish." Rightfully so but as I stated a few sentences ago, what if BOTH people are equally as deserving. I compare it to something like winning a music or academy award. We hear tons of great music throughout the year before the Grammy's. There is R&B, Neo-soul, Rock, Rap, Hip Hop and so on. Musical artists work very hard whether we'd like to admit it or not. Oftentimes the ones we feel that are more deserving aren't even nominated. Though I love Ms Gagalicious, I'd take Esthero over her any day but why is Esthero never nominated? She has been on the scene for a long time and she has loads of fans.Vikter Duplaix is awesome as hell so what makes him so underground and not Musiq Soulchild? Hmmm....I guess we can chalk it all up to a popularity or familiarity contest if you will. With popularity contests, it's not always the most deserving that wins. It's who is the crowd is most familiar with that gets the gold. Familiarity can be one of the biggest crutches. For starters, it definitely breeds contempt. It keeps you inside a box--stagnate and immovable. You may not be happy but it's something that you know. You don't have to figure it out. You don't have to change. You know the advantages and disadvantages, ups and downs, good and bad of whatever or whomever you are familiarity with. Is there a checklist that the heavens use to see who actually gets their wish granted? Does the universe have a Wish List Requirement? I can't fathom it really. Maybe the real answer is--Who is it meant for if it's meant to be at all? Was I meant to have the part or did the other actress meet more wish-granting criteria then myself, figuratively speaking or course. If it's meant to be, will it be? I don't know. I can't call it. I guess I'll keep wishing, keep praying & eventually I'll get the gold--if it's meant to be of course.

//signed//
The Curiously Cat's Meow

My New Friend (Part Un)

Melancholy is my friend. Happiness used to be.
If ever I'd to choose between the two, Happiness it'll be. 
Desperation is at my door.
Insecurity is already sit'n down
Fear is somewhere in the kitchen
Sadness wears a frown.
Desolate is picking at my scab wombs
Rejection's down the hall
Disparity is talking shit again
while morose is on the prowl.
Truth is nowhere to be found
and Loyalty, I heard is dead.
Faith is somewhere in my dreams
when it used to be in my bed
Understanding & acceptance is somewhere hanging out
When they used to be with me.
I guess they grew tired of being alone.
They needed company.
My heart wonders how I got here
while my head knows just how.
"A combination of things" is what it tells me,
"Dolorous has you now."
Where's my strength, where's my faith?
Where's my friend credence gone?
Honesty, where is your ass
while my Expressiveness is in the john?              
Solitude? Yeah that's my ace.
He's convinced we're having an affair.
 My smile you see is just a mask.
It's usually always there. Trust is peering thru the window
while Apologies are out of town.
I sure miss my friend Ecstasy.
Sorrow is in here wearing a crown.....smh
Hmph...I'm sure my pal will be back soon.
We'll be reunited--you'll see.
But for now, Melancholy is my new friend.
Happiness used to be.
(c) 2011 Elle Woods

//signed//
The Missing Cat's Meow

In the Litter Box

     For the past few weeks, the Cat's Meow has been feeling a lil down in the litter box. Yeah, it happens to the best of us...even me. I can't believe that just purred outta my mouth. smh Like....my thoughts are undesirable and sporadic and I feel like the contents of the litter box--shitty, pissy, rocky, smelly--u get the picture. I'm trying my hardest to think positive thoughts and broaden my faith but for some reason its a bit more complicated than usual. My father used to say that nobody garnished faith like his baby girl (dat's me). Even as a child, I didn't believe in failure, loss, negativity, can'ts or have nots.

I'm a shitty mess right now!

     Lately, it's been a bit different. It's hard to think positive when every time you do, it's combated with at least 2 negatives and ONE of those negatives win. After so many negatives u begin to wonder if the positive still exist. Open a business only for it to shut down. Get over one illness only go gain three more due to the primary illness. I wanna kick the dog cuz he's pissing me off. Learning you are paying $400 in rent MORE than your neighbors for the same amount of space and speaking of space--someone else is in mine and though I love her to death, I NEED IT BACK! Where does it end? Negativity is like that salt in the blue box--when it rains, it pours! So, lately I've been questioning my existence, wondering which talent of mine will take off--if it takes off, life's purpose, lack of sleep when I'm dog ass tired, going home to NO ONE for the sixth year in a row and etc. And whoever said college degrees begets lucrative employment obviously didn't anticipate this crappy economy. If I hear another employer tell me that I am over-qualified for a position, I will commence to being very un-kitty-like! Now of course this is just scratching the surface of my woes but who wants to hear about all of em? We've all got our own problems right. But back to the purpose of this post--life has seriously thrown me curve balls and boulders. I'm trying to keep the faith but that's going nowhere. I'm constantly thinking, crying, working things out, crying, letting people go, crying, questioning people's motives, crying, rearranging this, maneuvering that and so on and so forth oh and did I mention crying? Oh ok just checking. Man I swear I've been in the ring with Mike Tyson AND Lennix Lewis! But Yeah, every now and then I feel this way. It's not often thank the heavens but I guess this year it's my turn. SMH Anyhow, to shorten up this depression of a post, while sitting here contemplating my next move & wondering if ANYTHING will work out in my favor, I get a text. I didn't wanna answer it, look at it, didn't care who it was from & didn't give a damn what they had to say buuuutttttt....of course curiosity killed the kitty cuz I picked up the phone, nonchalantly I may add, and clicked on the message. The sender was one who always feel my sadness, hears my cries from a distance and sees my tears from miles away--my daddy! Hold the hell up! Who da hell taught his ass howta text? I'll get back to that later. Anywho, his text was short simple & like him--to the damn point. "Be strong and brave. U will win. From daddy." Just when I thought I had NO tears left, his ass add fuel to the fire. It was that Super Unleaded Plus fuel but it was fuel nonetheless. It's weird how he knows these things. I didn't tell him anything! It's always been this way.
     SO, needless to say those words of encouragement come thru right on time. Encouragement comes from the strangest of places and the least expecting moments sometimes. It's time for me to climb on out of this litter box anyway. It's quite smelly and these lil rocks are hurting my damn ass...literally! I'm not fully recovered of course but I'm getting there. When a negative thought enters I cuss it right on out! I'll be damned and the hell u say! I guess I'll get back to trying to thinking positive. I hope this works. What am I saying!? It WILL WORK. Who am I to question the first man to hear my cry and the first man to wipe my tear even today while he is miles away. I'm not to question it at all.
It's true what they say-------->>>>>>

//signed//
The Pissy Cat's Meow

Get In, Sit down, Buckle Up, Shut Up & Hold On!!

It's got curves of situations and hills of complications. The red light is bright for a reason but we run it anyway. Sometimes I like to compare life to driving. I mean really who reads the manual? You have to look at least 12 seconds ahead to avoid traffic. Stop when the signs tell you to. Yield when there is warning. Don't speed up at the yellow light for that too, is a bit bright. When the road gets rocky, hold the hell on. Don't expect life to be paved at your every mile. You may have to climb over a boulder or two but if you pay attention to the road you will be richly prepared for them. Talk less--it's amazing the things we hear AND see when we shut the hell up sometimes. You can't do EVERYTHING despite how positive you are. Some things aren't meant to be so sit down & stay calm. When your dreams are clearly on go....BUCKLE UP CUZ IT'S FULL SPEED AHEAD!

//signed//
The Cat's Meow