I'm Baaaccckkkk and I STILL Hate Stupid People!

Yeah yeah yeah I know I have been gone for a while...quite a while...ok ok a long ass time but hey I had issues that I attempted to work out. The operative word here is 'attempt' meaning there are still some there but hell I will get to them when I get to them. There are things that are beyond my control and that irritates me but I must make like a Beatle and just Let It Be.

Anyway, I left you faithlessly, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically drained but I keep hearing from random people that I was missed so I'm baaaaccckkkkkkkkkk and I STILL hate stupid things! Today, while engaging in what I THOUGHT was an intellectual conversation, I became a little irritated with what I think is one of the most ill-fated and misused statements known to man...and woman...hell even animal. While discussing the recent and the most blatantly racially motivated outbreaks and nebulous bouts of "ignorant pretense" (pretending to 'not' know), one person decided to inform the rest of us that she "doesn't care what color a person is be they black, white, blue or green" that she will never allow herself to use a person's race as consideration for unalienable rights. She finished with, "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not like my ancestors. I don't do what they do. I'm my own person. I don't do or say what other people say or do no matter what it is." SMH right--sounds stupidly intelligent huh? Now if you know me then you know I had to speak up and address this madness. I told her that first of all if a mofo is walking around looking blue or green than perhaps they need to seek professional medical assistance as soon as possible or the nearest mortuary. You know good-n-well....*rolls eyes* Now, she countered with, "Its a figure of speech geesh. Everybody says it so why is it so different when I say it? Geesh." She rolled her eyes. LMAO She doesn't know me very well does she?

Boo, you opened up this can of bullSHAT not me. You just said that you don’t do what others do or say but then felt the need to follow that up with “Everybody else says it….”. Don’t get mad at me because you contradicted yourself. If you’re a sheep like you’ve clearly demonstrated in ya actions, then Baa Baaa Bish! Her words, “Well for the politically correct (I sensed slight attitude) what I mean is I don’t care if you’re black or white…geeeshh!” I LMAO and shook my head--“Gray folks” and their ‘geeshes’. HA! Anyhow, I had to come one more time with, “Well that wasn’t correct eitha! How does one just acknowledge the black and white races as if no other race existed? Even though people clearly like to pretend that other races don't exist, they actually do. Last I checked the earth still included the Asians, Latinos, East and West Indian and all of the others in between. What about them?” Ms. Chen-Hu chimes in with gratitude—Thank you! Why do people never acknowledge us?

Me: Don’t worry. I gotcho’ back.

This is the time when lil Ms. Obvious decides that we were all ganging up on her. My thoughts, I really despise when people say things, especially clichés, and never think twice about the meaning. You know good-n-well that there are no Skittle people walking around. Secondly, stop trying to sound intelligent when you’re dumb. Its ok to not know what you’re talking about. Its even better to shut up if you don't know what you are talking about. Its better to be considered a fool than to open your mouth to remove all doubt.

Hmph but then again, what do I know. Hell, I'm Just Elle!

Don't We All?

You never appreciate your parent's good sense and wisdom until you miss an opportunity where you needed it the most. ~ Cyntoia Brown

Think like a man, MY ASS!

Why is so much time and energy directed towards the way women should conduct themselves through life and relationships? Where is the advice for the man in all of this? So, do they get off scott free? Do they not need to work on being a great man and keeping his woman happy in a relationship as well? No one is exempt from having a mutual understanding and respect in a relationship OR everyday life. Be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets--The way to a man's heart is through his stomach--Act like a woman and think like a man. If all of this shit aint about the most bogus pieces of advice then I don't know what is. What the hell is 'be a lady in the street & freak in the sheets'? Why can't one just be a freaky lady?! So, you mean to tell me you want me to be your interpretation of a woman in front of your friends but be 'sexually liberated' in bed? What kind of advice is that? So, what is the counter advice for the men on this one? I know some men to be the most rudest, obnoxious and inconsiderate beings in 'da streets' and horrible in bed! Where is that advice? Is that supposed to be the normal masculinity? That's like a dumb saying the old people in my family say "it's ok for a man to be musty but you should never smell a woman". Are you serious? It's not ok for ANYONE to smell like a boarhog with onion smelling armpits in a shitty pig stye! I don't care who it is! I betta not catch a man reaking of total havoc. He will NOT get his ass on top, behind or beneath me smelling like that. I'll be damned if I'ma feed my way into anyone's damn heart either.  What in the hell is gonna happen if I don't feel like preparing a damn meal, is he just gonna sustain his love from me? That is a bunch of crock and yall know it. Where was his damn heart before meeting me? Did he starve or did he find a way to fill his gut? Now in all of this pleasing, who is filling the woman's gut? And I'll be damned if I think like a man. Hell, if I'm thinking like a man than who will a man think like..a woman? Who the hell wants to be in a world where everyone thinks alike? Shit, then it'll be more cheating, insecurities, disloyalty and extra havoc in the world. Besides, I'd rather think like me than any man, any day. Now, I'd love to read their minds I'll have you to know but to completely compilate thoughts like a man...Ne-ga-damn-tive!

UGH! To be continued after my annoyance with societal ways & social norms.

//Signed//
Irritated Elle

Nov 2012

I See You, Do You See ME?

One of my throwbacks....(slightly elementary)



Should I stay, should I go?
Should I question or should I know?
Do I feel or let it be?
Should I heal and set it free?
I ponder this, I question that.
I wonder where your heart is at.
I see you, I see me
I see us then I see...She
Been here before but I let it be
Bit me in the ass, woe is me

Prayed for the days our eyes would meet
A love so soft but bittersweet
Trying to be patient but can't sit still
Wanna be next, not sure if I will
Smoke in my eyes to the 10th degree
But I still see you, do you me?

Not my shell but deep within
Behind my eyes, beneath my skin
Forget my talk, rememba' my speech
Forget my aim but think of my reach
Can't be too scared but can't be too sure
Just only hope that love endures
You saw us and I saw we
And I saw u but did you didn't ME?



e. Seleithia Woods

There's FAITH and then there's that other thing.

It's the substance of things hoped for & the evidence of things not seen. Well, at least this is how the Hebrews defined FAITH. I guess you can say that. I'd like to think, perhaps, that's it's not belief without proof but merely trust without reservation. Hmph...good old' reservation. The uncertainty and the apprehensiveness of it all.

I used to have a lot of faith. Faith that things will work out. Faith that all people are good. Faith that situations are not as complicated as they seem. But then too much shit started hitting the fan and blew every-damn-where, every-damn-day so unexpectedly and when wind hits shit, u know it permeates the air and makes you gag. I either began losing my ground or I forgot to shine and polish my faith gun. Either way, I lost faith somewhere in the Forest of Falter or on the Island of Incertitude. Perhaps its in the closet hidden behind my plethora of shoes or in my trunk of incredulity. Hell, I don't know where the hell I left it. All I know is there is a disconnect somewhere and I aim to put the pieces back together.

I'd like to think that I'm a realist. I tend to view things as they really are. I accept things as I see them, when I see them and where I see them. But then again, I'm Aquarius. Our heads are always in the clouds. So, my question is can a realist have faith? I'd like to say, yes. I'm one of those people--used to be anyway. Hey, I said I'm working on it! Don't judge me, just listen. In his sermons, my father would often hit on the parable of moving mountains. If you had as much faith as the grain of a mustard seed, you can move mountains. Hmm...
Judging by the mustard seed I now wear around my neck, the size isn't much. It's practically the size of the pointy end of a pencil--ya know the lead part. You can barely feel it or see it. You would probably go cross-eyed if you tried to look at it in the palm of your hand. That small huh? Now, have you ever tasted a mustard seed? Its tiny but packs a hell of a punch. Infinitesimal in size with an immeasurable impact. So, why is it so hard for me to garnish that wee bit amount of faith? Just having the idea of faith should be good enough right? Perhaps I've become fearful of faith. Sounds counter intuitive huh? Maybe I am fearing that if I had the wee bit amount of faith in something and that something still went awry then I'd be angry at faith. I mean who or what can I be angry at if what I had faith in took a nose dive? Faith? Hell, besides that, I'd be angry at myself and no one likes to be angry at themselves. Then you'd have to blame yourself. Who really wants to do that? Funny but I think that's it. Yeah you're laughing but I truly think I've found my truth in all of this. Is there a such thing as failed faith? Can faith fail you? Perhaps is it I that has failed faith. Hmph maybe faith never went anywhere, I just failed to acknowledge it. Perchance it is I that got lost on the Isle of Incertitude or in that Faltering Forest. Hmm...

As I've stated, lately I've been wearing my mustard seed charm everyday. Every time I begin to think negatively or faithless about something, I grab it and hold on tight until my though change, even for a minute. I clutched it so hard in my sleep last night that I woke up with sore fingers--minus my arthritic pain. Anyway, its a process. I must trust the process. Believe the process. Have faith in the process.  And right now, I feel that it's gonna be a bumpy ride. So, I'm still wearing my stilettos!

The title of this entry is called There is FAITH and then there's that other thing. If you haven't figured out what that other thing is then perhaps you didn't get the gist of this post. Log off, think about it, come back and read it again. SMH

//signed//
The Faithless Cat's Meow

Burglars In My Bed

My bed grew somewhat crowded last night. Discouragement crept in before I hit REM, well I never hit REM but I know you get the picture. Uncertainty slid in on the other side of me and man was it snoring--loudly! I attempted to sleep again. Tell me why did they both decide to have a complete conversation right in the middle of me going there? I slept for no more than half an hr at a time but in my sleep all I could hear was the chorus to Rihanna's "Diamonds". Shine bright like a diamond, shine bright like a diamond played over & over until I wanted to scream under my breath. Off & on this song would play in my head. I swear it was in cahoots with the intruders in my bed. Detachment tried to creep his little way under the sheets but I kicked his ass out just in time. I'll be damn if I lose anymore shut eye to another impostor. The two in my bed were already conspiring to keep me up until the wee hours of the morning.

One part of me was listening to Diamonds while the other part of me tried to hone in on the rap session of my unwanted back-seater drivers. I had no idea what brought this on--or do I? Ah yes, it was a text I received a few hours earlier. It disturbed me. It probably shouldn't have, at least that's how he puts it but nonetheless, it did. Shine bright like a diamond is playing again. So, who or what do I actually listen to? I know I shine bright as hell but am I that bright where my intruders decided to cop a squat for the night? Do I listen to them because of the loud talking and the interesting things they are saying?

To make matters worse, Discontent, Impatience & Naivete decided to barge in, sit at the edge of the bed & turn my damn tv on! Now how in the hell are they able to turn it on in one flip when it took me a week to do so!? Ugh the freaking nerve! 5 interlopers in my damn bed WITH that damn Rihanna! This can't be real. All of these visitors for what? Needless to say, I got NO sleep. I didn't get to dream. I tossed & turned all night & Discouragement, Uncertainty, Discontentment, Impatience & Naivete all snored until the cows came home. Today is Tuesday, the day I dubbed "IDontGiveADamn" day & guess what? No sleep definitely enhances the lack of concern for any-damn-thing!

//signed//
The Irritable Cat's Meow

So, Who Gets The Gold?



If I get this, I'll pray 4 nothing else...promise





Wish upon a shooting star but tell no one.

There's a question that continues to linger in my mind and his has been since I was a young Diva and for some reason, it's been harassing my thoughts a lot lately. If two people pray or wish for the same thing at the same time then whose wish is granted or prayer is answered? What if that thing is the only one thing at the moment? I think what sparked this question was the Olympic competition. I used to watch it every four years and I see competitors praying for the gold. There is only one gold per competition right? So, if both competitors are equally talented, hardworking and equally as deserving than why does one walk off with the gold and the other one doesn't? They both prayed with equal sincerity right? It baffles me really. What exactly is the determining factor of the win and the prayer? Someone told me yesterday, "Guess it depends on the wish & the people making the wish." Rightfully so but as I stated a few sentences ago, what if BOTH people are equally as deserving. I compare it to something like winning a music or academy award. We hear tons of great music throughout the year before the Grammy's. There is R&B, Neo-soul, Rock, Rap, Hip Hop and so on. Musical artists work very hard whether we'd like to admit it or not. Oftentimes the ones we feel that are more deserving aren't even nominated. Though I love Ms Gagalicious, I'd take Esthero over her any day but why is Esthero never nominated? She has been on the scene for a long time and she has loads of fans.Vikter Duplaix is awesome as hell so what makes him so underground and not Musiq Soulchild? Hmmm....I guess we can chalk it all up to a popularity or familiarity contest if you will. With popularity contests, it's not always the most deserving that wins. It's who is the crowd is most familiar with that gets the gold. Familiarity can be one of the biggest crutches. For starters, it definitely breeds contempt. It keeps you inside a box--stagnate and immovable. You may not be happy but it's something that you know. You don't have to figure it out. You don't have to change. You know the advantages and disadvantages, ups and downs, good and bad of whatever or whomever you are familiarity with. Is there a checklist that the heavens use to see who actually gets their wish granted? Does the universe have a Wish List Requirement? I can't fathom it really. Maybe the real answer is--Who is it meant for if it's meant to be at all? Was I meant to have the part or did the other actress meet more wish-granting criteria then myself, figuratively speaking or course. If it's meant to be, will it be? I don't know. I can't call it. I guess I'll keep wishing, keep praying & eventually I'll get the gold--if it's meant to be of course.

//signed//
The Curiously Cat's Meow