HI HO, HI HO, IT'S OFF 2 BAKE I GO

Hello all in Diva-Divaland!!

            I've been approached so many times about how to bake this & how to cook that or how to fry this & how to broil that that I've decided 2 letchall in on my lil cooking secret society. Yeah, I know, I normally don't share recipes with anyone, not even my mother but I figured, "Why not let my peasants in on a lil secret or 2?" No, I will not post any recipes here. They will be posted in a pink bounded notebook, sealed with a kiss and little pink bows. Yep! You've guessed it. Ya Queen is doing a cookbook! Oh don't be silly, of course you don't get it for free. You gotta pay for my hardwork, sweat, tears, and stiletto stomping goodness Huns! I'll have everything your lil hearts desire such as desserts and quickies (as in meals....yall so nasty), to salads & breads. Being that this is my first cookbook, don't expect it to be an all out 300 page fiasco. Dang a bish is new at this! But I assure you that it will be a page turner, no doubt. The great thing about it is, the ones close to me with think it's a hoot b/c ya know my personality will seap thru the chicken and chilli! I can't wait. Man, there is so much work to do in so little time. Research'n, cook'n, research'n, cook'n, finding funding, cooking, tasting and sipping. Oh boy! Now yall can always help ya girl out ya know? If you know of anyone who'd like to invest in this Diva-tastic Goodness, gimme me a holler! I'll be sure to keep ya posted on my journey. Now to go hang a lip on some chicken N' Dumplings!

//signed//
The Ever-tasting Cat's Meow

EVENT UPDATE: The Battle is Not Yours (Stageplay)

You asked for it so here it is: 21 Nov I will be hitting the stage (or something like it) in the role of Sister Williams in the stageplay "The Battle Is Not Yours". Catch me acting a fool at 5840 La Tijera Blvd in Ladera Heights, CA. Don't be alarmed and afraid b/c it's in a church. *drinks holy water* Come to be entertained and talk 2 the "Man Upstairs" if u haven't in a while. One stop shop!

See ya there!

//signed//
The Ever-busy Cat's Meow

Elvada-Seleithia Empress Dominique Devereaux

Growing up in the early 80's as a young Diva-in-Training in Atlanta, my mother was an avid stan of Dynasty. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand all the commotion and ruckus over a rich, white man, his mullet-wearing wife and his bitch of a sister Alexis. I started to watch it with her with very little understanding of a lot of what was going on until She arrived. Dominique Deveraux! The rich, black and elegant looking, mink wearing, no non-sense, kickass DIVA! I soooo thought I looked like her. I was so happy to see a classy sistah on TV. I was so elated. Because of her, I had officially became a stan of Dynasty and The Colby's. One day my teacher called my mother and wanted to know if my mother had re-married or divorced. My mother said, "No" and wanted to know why my favorite teacher (Gwendolyn Hamilton) had asked her such a thing. My momsy was appalled. "Well, Mrs. Woods, I asked because for the past two weeks 'E' has been signing her last name as Deveraux." "What on earth for?", my mother asked. "I thought you could tell me", sayeth Ms Hamilton. Moms told her she would talk to me about it and get back with her. A couple of hours later, the little diva U know as Empress comes prancing into the french doors of the kitchen like I had a million bucks in the bank. My mother asked the normal day-to-day questions like how was my day and all that and then she got to the real deal. She told me my teacher called her today. And me with my hand on my chest like a true Diva says, "Really? What for?"

Mom: Why are you signing your last name Deveraux?

Empress: Cuz my mother's last name is Deveraux.

Mom: Young lady, my last name is Woods!

Empress: You are not my mother Dominique Deveraux is and she's coming to get me when she's done with Blake Carrington (as I pointed to my suitcase already packed for damn near two weeks sitting by the door).

Mom: Is that what that is?

Empress: Yup

Mom: What? You don't want me to be your mother? I had you!

Empress: No, Dominique Deveraux had me and she'll be here when she beats up Alexis.

Mom: Girl stop your foolishness before I go upside your head! That is NOT your mother.

By this time I was frustrated and was crying out of control. My mom sat down, dried my tears and explained to me where I really came from. We settled on her truth and I was ok...so she thinks.

Yes my friends, this marks the beginnings of this Diva.

And this my friends, is a true story



Whatever! My name is Elvada-Seleithia Empress Deveraux. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Hmph...she don't Know me like dat!

//signed//
The Cat's Meow
.

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People R N our lives 4 a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sum R the leaves, sum R the branches & sum R the roots 2 our tree. Don't misconstrue the 3. Don't try to prolong the reason or extend the season but do strengthen the roots 2 make that tree stand 4 a lifetime ~eswoods

The Family Curse

     As I sit here alone in the coffee shop, admiring the cute couples walking by hand-in-hand, I can't help but to feel a lil slighted and envious. Where is my mate? Did the heavens 4get to make me one or did someone snatch him up when I wasn't looking? Was it something I said or did to possibly run him away? Where the hell is my Knight in Shiny Fucking Armour?! I don't know. I decided to figure out what the deal is. Maybe I should see what the admireable women in life did to remain happy with a mate but there is one problem. I can't configure my favorite granny's technique cuz...well...I ain't ever seen her with granpa. *scratches her off the list* Why don't I look at my moms? Surely every Diva can look to moms for advice but...err....moms and pops divorced when I became an adult. Next in line, 2 of my aunts. They are beautiful as ever and successful in their own right and those bishes can dress to the nines so of course they are happy with their mate. No wait, they live together. One has divorced the same man TWICE and the other has never been married. Gee whiz... My maternal granny ran all of her men away and I definately see how. She ran my ass away and I wasn't married to her! Come to think of it, I can think of no woman in my family that is greatly secure and happy in a relationship. And before you take it to the "you don't need a mate to be happy" level, don't go there. Companionship is needed in the world. It is not the foundation for happiness but it damn sure is a fixture for it. I mean really, who wants to wake up, go to sleep, have spats, walk the beach, crack jokes or make love alone everyday?  It's good to be alone sometimes and sometimes I even love it but all the time is a no-go! I mean I love mac & cheese but do I wish to eat it everyday? Hell naw!

     Now the kicker is this, I can honestly say that I've been loved mutually once in my life (sadly, well over 12 yrs ago). But I was a tad bit young and so was he but he had no qualms with letting everyone know who came first. I was his Chocoate Bunny....the Queen Bee....that was it and that was all! He remembered my birthday, knows my favorite color, told me he loved me without hesitation, thought I was the prettiest thing ever, knew I was smart, listened to every word I said and will have kicked your ass if you were so happen to look at me side-ways! Lmao! I loved that. The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved. The problem lied with my parents. He wasn't as afluent as they wanted him to be, conservative as they would have liked and he was by no means a choir boy or a Poindexter. All the lil girlies wanted him for he is rather handsome but I had him. LOL This nerdy, lil chocolate pigtailed girl that everyone thought was funny looking & shy was loved by the Rico Suave' and they hated it! The parents had an issue with that and so did the majority of my family. The parental units did everything in their power for us to "cease and desist". Of course it worked I guess.
     It is said that you only get one true love in your life so hold on to it for dear life. Well if this is true then gotdamnit I was fucking robbed and I want a do over! I feel I have been patient enough. What the hell is going on with the Powers that Be? I can no longer conform to the madness. I'm weary of dudes telling me that I'm too much of something. No busta I ain't too much! You're just too much of nothing & not enuff of everything!  13 years and 2 horrific boyfriends later, I am still alone. I deserve somebody too shit! Ooops my bad, I got side-tracked. *snickering* I am  woman now. I've been a lot places and seen a lot of faces. Ah hell I've even fucked with different races. (courtesy of Lil Kim in How Many Licks). I know myself, I know what I want, how to get it and I stand on my own two feet in my own damn stilettos that I've purchased myself! Isn't that what the men of today's society is asking for? That's what they tell me. I'm independent and I for damn sho' am a "sight for sore eyes" even when I wake up  in the morning. What I don't understand is why all the exes are trying to reclaim their spot in my kitchen when the food was cooked perfectly the first time to begin with? All of a sudden they all are apologetic, have seen the light and have come to their sense. EVERY LAST ONE OF 'EM! I am the same person I was when you decided to leave b/c I was a 'bit much'. I'm still beautiful. I still have my own shit. I'm still a great listener and a damn good cook. I'm still sensitive and affectionate. I'm still supportive and funny. Why you refused to see that initally is beyond me but I don't backtrack buddies.
     Where does the curse come in at you ask? Simple, aren't curses passed down thru generations? I think stuff like this is genetically affixed to one's life. I mean, men know how to treat women when they have seen it first hand from pops or another positive male figure in their lives. The same for women possibly. I mean, I know how to treat my mate by watching ma dukes and the older women in my life. I had an aunt that was so wonderful, beautiful internally and externally, loved children and people, a positive influence in the community and the total opposite of me and she died alone. She wanted children desparately but didn't have any. She had no mate at all. She's not the only person I know of like this so to me, it has to be a curse and I'm mad about. Why did I have to be involved? Somebody needs to tell me something and fast! The Powers that Be has got some 'splaining to do.
     Sometimes I can't help but to think about the fact that I can count all of my dates on one hand excluding the thumb. Even the one where the dude came to my house and stood me up! He came to pick me up, said he was going back to his car to clear the seat for me to sit down but failed to come back up and get me. I caught the elevator down to the lobby to his car just to find out that he had left. Talk about depressing? I can't for the life of me still figure out why he drove an hour just to come and stand me up. So what it happened 7 years ago! I am still mad about it. I guess some people aint meant to have a mate. They are just here for the world to enjoy. My love life was sacraficed for yall's entertainment so yall betta enjoy me damnit!
     Yeah, mutual love is the greatest when you find it. Don't be so quick to write a person off if their head is too round, or their fingers don't match their toes, or they don't make as much money as you, or b/c you're an introvert but flamboyant, or if they don't like mushrooms and u hate their bestfriend. True love is hard to come by and can be easy to keep if u play your cards right. I must say that sometimes when I get down in the dumps for not having a person that is crazy about me and will let the world know, I do think of Phillip Lorenzo Peck (yes, I called him by his government name). I smile for I know it's not possible for one to love me even if it was once in my life. Shout out to PLP!

The saga continues...

//signed//
The Cat's Meow