You May Beg My Pardon!

Why must one test the Queen's gangsta on a daily basis? Don't try and answer that. You may hurt yourself. Here I am minding my own business when the Diva-phone rings with such pizazz. It was one of my professors and by the way my phone rang, I know there must be foolishness in the gatdamn musty air. It wasn't long until I had her to cut to the chase after much useless and boring small talk. The convo went as follows:

Professor: Your last paper was great, E. I didn't think you wrote it at first. I tried to find plagiarism but I was wrong. I didn't know you had it in you. Pardon me and I apologize.

Me:  Excuse you. Contrary to your belief but I may speak ebonics & act a fool in class & I may even cuss out a classmate or two on any given day but I am greatly aware of proper English etiquette, I'm very well versed, write exceptionally well and am highly intelligent. Knowledge & intellect sits in this perfectly rounded bald head, talent lies in my eyes and my lips aint just for decoration Honey, wisdom spews from them so don’t get it twisted. Yeah you’re right, PARDON YOU BISH and dat's MISS E to YOU!

I wonder if her ass is still vibing with  the operator.

*in my operator voice* If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and don't try that bullshit again!

//signed//
The Intellectual, Well versed and Cussing Cat's Meow

FREQUENT UPDATES...Alright already!

Ok so I was approached earlier in the week, choked & gagged and forced to update this site constantly! WTF? I didn't know I had readers like that. U R NOT the boss of me Val!!!!!!

Ok so I am doing as instructed for now but only cuz u 'be' boxing folks!

So peeps, a lot has happened in the previous weeks, actually months but I've just been holding out on some things. I've decided to start my own Web-based bakery in hopes of bring culinary skillz to the public. I mean really, a lil black girl from down 'Souf', that's flamboyant, diva-fied and luvs to eat...where can you go wrong right? RIGHT! Let's see what else....oh ooh ooh yall have got to see my LOGO! No not the Gay Channel but my LOGO for my business, Dainty Treasures! I am so excited but I will not reveal it just yet. U hafta wait! hahahaharharhar *evil grins* More to come on Dainty Treasures. I'm going world-fucking-wide! I CAN NOT WAIT!

Let's see...oh oh oh oh...I've shaved my head yet AGAIN! BAM! Yeah I know, if U know me U know that I am constantly changing & constantly evolving...especially my hair! It's been skunked, half shaved, mohawked, long N front and slicked in back...u name it, I've done it. I actually started shaving my head yeeeaaarrrrsss ago. So, NO, Amber Rose DID NOT bring this N2 fruition & she did NOT rock it 1st. Ya gurl (dats me) DID. @ least I'd like to think so. I know I rocked it long before her ass! BALD BITCHES UNITE!   

What else has transpired? OH YEAH, I've joined the cast of "The Beautiful World" showing here in Los Angeles, well, more like North Hollywood. It's a children's theater show. Now who in the hell in their right  mind would cast my ass in a children's show?! U guessed it, someone NOT in their right mind! lmmfao! Po Lil Tink-Tink! Yall know I loves the kids.

I've started out the year with a couple of auditions too. That's a first! What the hell is up with Hollywood and the no-talent personalities they are adopting today? Damn does a bish need 2 bleach her skin, throw on a weave, get but shots & more tits (or lose ass and tits depending on the audience) & suck a couple of directors off to get a damn gig in this piece? Grrrr.........It seems that I'ma hafta bake my way N2 Hollyweird if it's the last shit I do!!!!

Love Freely

Don't attempt 2 luv harder or better. Just do it  &  do so freely. Love


falls N2 its rightful place @ its rightful time e'rytime.

Elvada Seleithia