You May Beg My Pardon!

Why must one test the Queen's gangsta on a daily basis? Don't try and answer that. You may hurt yourself. Here I am minding my own business when the Diva-phone rings with such pizazz. It was one of my professors and by the way my phone rang, I know there must be foolishness in the gatdamn musty air. It wasn't long until I had her to cut to the chase after much useless and boring small talk. The convo went as follows:

Professor: Your last paper was great, E. I didn't think you wrote it at first. I tried to find plagiarism but I was wrong. I didn't know you had it in you. Pardon me and I apologize.

Me:  Excuse you. Contrary to your belief but I may speak ebonics & act a fool in class & I may even cuss out a classmate or two on any given day but I am greatly aware of proper English etiquette, I'm very well versed, write exceptionally well and am highly intelligent. Knowledge & intellect sits in this perfectly rounded bald head, talent lies in my eyes and my lips aint just for decoration Honey, wisdom spews from them so don’t get it twisted. Yeah you’re right, PARDON YOU BISH and dat's MISS E to YOU!

I wonder if her ass is still vibing with  the operator.

*in my operator voice* If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and don't try that bullshit again!

//signed//
The Intellectual, Well versed and Cussing Cat's Meow