There Is One Born Every Minute

YEAH YEAH YEAH I know. I haven't blogged in a while but it's not like I haven't thought about yall...all 28 of yall. I've had plenty to say just not a lot of time to say it in. Well, today is one of those days when I have to sit down and tell you about the foolery. Mind you it's not gonna be a whole lot. It's just that I hate when people say stupid things and do stupid things without thinking about it. Yeah we all do it at some point in time. Nobody is perfect....except me...but there are somethings that deserve logical contemplation before being spewed onto the rest of the world. Now I know a few weeks ago...ok ok a few months ago I blogged about a woman stating that she doesn't trust other women for whatever reason and I know you saw my view point on that. If not see here---> It Takes One to Know One and come back...I'll wait.



Ok back to our regularly scheduled programming. Today on Facebook, someone posted their feelings of disgust for women that speak loudly in public and then they followed up with: Women should be seen and not heard. Typical guy talk, right? WRONG! It was a female! Now if ya know me, you know I couldn't pass on the opportunity to enlighten a mofo. First of all, the statement is "Children should be seen and not heard" which I think is so disheartening.

So I asked the young "lady": Then why are u speaking? Just askin....
Her: What are you talking about? You don't have to be LOUD to speak! #weirdcomment
Me: U said they should be seen and not heard. Usually when people speak it is heard whether it is loud or not. You're a woman. Would you want to just be looked at and only given permission to speak? Think about it.
Her: IT A FIGURE OF SPEECH with only means a lady should be a lady and you don' (she ended with "'don'" so maybe she forgot what she was going to say. It's OK, I have that effect on most people)
Me: Yeah well some figures of speech are illogical ones. I see your point. I just don't agree with the FOS.

Needless to say, she ignored my comment and proceeded to answer someone else that disagreed with her. *shrugs* Now is this bish serious? How would you feel if you were just a body without a voice? Back in the 30's and before then, women were not allowed to voice their opinion, not allowed to vote, not allowed to make a certain amount of money and not allowed to..hell...there were plenty of shit we were not allowed to do so you mean to tell me that you wish we'd resort to that again? Helloooo I know you've heard of the women suffrage movement. It's that movement that sorta allowed you to be the entrepreneur that you are. Oh my how silly are we sometimes. Other women fought for your freedom to speak and your dumb ass wishes to be silenced? I don't get it!  And since we are on the subject of loud her ass clearly typed out: IT A FIGURE OF SPEECH! Number one, all caps is considered to be loud in the computer world and secondly, put an "s" on the end of IT ya genius! How are you gonna criticize something and turn right around and do it in another form? SMDH Thirdly, use proper English, punctuation and complete sentences when addressing the Cat's Meow Bitch! Get ya shit together!Futhermore, YOU are the woman that should be seen and not heard because it is apparent that you don't think before you speak anyway! 


//signed//
The LOUD Cat's Meow

A Lesson In Potatoes

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

 
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred or grudges for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

//signed//

The Forgiving Cat's Meow

How the Hell do YOU Know?!

Aug 30, 2009

A woman tells her daughter, "Homosexuality is wrong and it's not God's plan for you." Bitch how do YOU know what God's plan is for anyone? Did yall have a personal discussion about HIS plans 4 someone else? How do YOU know that being straight was his plan 4 your ass? How about talking 2 him about YOU instead of someone else? Why would the maker discuss someone else's personal business with you exactly? How do You know he didn't plan for you to be a nun or a waitress or something? He didn't plan for you to be a simple bish but you obviously are! I get too upset when folk demean the sexuality of someone else. I mean really, do you have anything else to do besides judge? Hold up...don't answer that b/c its apparent that you don't. People never cease to amaze. This imbecile's mind was just as open as a ski lift in the summer. ugh!

//signed//

The Irritable Cat's Meow

So Sexy As You Say

Dec 4, 2007

I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, fully clothed in skin and sweet lavender spray.
Yet you never lift a finger to caress my inner thigh
But only to kiss me softly right before shut eye.
Do I not resemble the girl on your computer screen, the woman in your dreams?
Is my skin too dark? My hips too wide?
When I walk does my hair not fling side to side?
Perhaps my chest is too small or my ankles too petite or maybe you hate my smile for the space in my teeth.
My lips are your favorite and "oh how you love my ass".
But how could you love my touch so much yet fall asleep so fast?
I'm striving to be all you want; be how you need me to be
And all I ask is on tonight will you please make love to me?
I need this, I want you and love you desperately but just how long will I have to wait for you to touch the inner me?
I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, only clothed in skin and shame and my fading lavender spray.

elvadaseleithia/20071205
*written for no one in particular*

One Way Ticket To Where-the-Hell!

Why do people say "they're in a better place" or "they are home now" when people die? How exactly do YOU know? Have you been there? I'ont think I'ma like that home. I mean, how big is the kitchen? Is there pink and photos of me in every room? And the coffin seems waaay to small to house all of my shoes and makeup. Do you get to choose your neighbors? What if you don't like your outfit? I know they say it partially because that means a person is no longer suffering on earth but.....just but...what if the person is NOT suffering from anything? I mean I don't have the best of times all the times and sometimes I get a lil down and broken hearted but my life is not that bad. It's actually pretty damn cool. Not being able to pay a bill or bored or powerful headache doesn't constitute ending it all for me. Who said a mofo was suffering? Aint no coming back from death and I don't like to visit places I can't come back from. That's scary. I'll miss my peeps. I'll miss my shoes & the stove. They may not eat cake where I'm going, though I'm Buddhist and believe a bit differently, humor me will ya? What if I haven't accomplished the things I set out to do yet? Is there a redo? Who will be ME whilst I'm gone? No one can pull that shit off! And if the carpet is made of clouds like they say then I definitely can't go cuz my stilettos would just go straight through them clouds. NOT GOOD!  I need to know the weather conditions up there cuz I don't like wearing coats! Am I guaranteed to see ALL of my peeps that have passed B4 me? What? They say they're gonna meet me there so shit, if they are there can we play a game of spades? I'm not understanding why there isn't a round trip ticket offered on this trip "home". I mean, I go home all the time to Atlanta but I bring my black ass back to where I LIVE! How is not being able to shoe shop, make love and eat cake a better friggin place? I demand a gotdamn recount and new survey. It's like people being "thankful to be alive". Be thankful for shit you can experience and can tell the difference. Be thankful for the sun cuz you don't appreciate the rain. Be thankful for having food cuz you've experienced being hungry but you can't be thankful for living unless you've experienced death and since u can't come back from this "better place" then that is not possible.  I am thankful for the great things IN my life is better. Who ever said this shit above has better be reputable. They better have been to death and was able to 'live' and tell about it. I aint met one yet, have you?  No one has come back and told me they like that there new home OR that they like it better than being on earth so I kinda wanna pass but I know I will be forced to go. I know one thing, I aint going w/o a good ass fight. Kicking & screaming in my stilettos all the damn way! WHAT SET U CLAIM!?

//signed//
The Eternal Cat's Meow

I'm Not A Kid Anymore But Sum Days I Sit & Wish I Was A Kid Again...

     The longer we live and the more mature we get, there will be reminders that will make us sit and wish we were kids again *in my Ahmad voice*. Lollipops & candy stops or a fast ride down a slip-n-slide. Base stealing and big wheeling; kool-aid toasting or rollercoasting makes us long for the days when we had no rent to pay, no car to gas up, no job to hate & no calories to count. These were the days when you recieved things that you don't get as adults. Today is one of those days. I only experienced Valentine's Day as a kid. I miss those hard ass "Be Mine" candies. They were full of calories, carbs and sometimes love. It was puppy love grant it but at least it meant something. These were the days where you got lil cards from your favorite friends instead of Valentine's Day text messages or links on your Facebook page.
     Funny thing is, these are the only Valentine Days I remember. I never had one as an adult. I've wished for one, two or a few but I never got them. Even when I had a boo I didn't have a Valentine's Day and that usually meant I had no bornday from him either. They are nearly one in the same. Now you know that's dreadful to have a boo but not have a V Day! Damn that's pitiful! LOL  It was always the "I forgot" or "It's here already? (insert fake ass shock face)" or "Babe it's not working. It's not you, it's me" bullshit like a week before the big day. Let's not mention the ones who tried to return to the relationship on like February 20th. Nah Boo, if it wasn't "working" on Feb 7th then the 20th won't be any different.

     I try and stay in the house on this day and celebrate my birthday the whole month including weekends. Why the whole month? Shit I was shorted! Short month (28 days duh!), Black History month, Valentine's and President's Day all rolled in that one month? Shit I deserve to celebrate 28 days (sometimes 29). I don't go to the movies that day, I don't go out to eat, I don't go to the park and I don't visit any place where couples dwell. Now, before you get to ranting and issuing out unsolicited advice, just know that I love me. I love me all the time. I take me on dates, I spoil me, buy me flowers, kiss me at night and the whole nine. I do it damn near all year. Valentine's Day is just a reminder that I do all of this stuff for me and me alone. When will someone else do this shit? LOL I love flowers from others too. I don't want to pay for the meal ALL the time and I'd love for someone to make the day about ME. Can someone else cook ME a meal? Shit I like to eat too damnit! lol Yeah, it is just another day when you get down to it but it's a day set aside for your boo  or for you and damnit I wanna be set aside too! I wanna be spoiled and have that "Ah honey you shouldn't have" (grabs flowers) moment 2! I, too, like songs dedicated to me on a special day. Shit this is one of the reasons I don't like going to the movies on VDay or any day. Mofos always in there holding hands and necking and shit. Get a damn room! Don't nobody wanna see alladat...if they aint doing it too! *rolls eyes* Oh and please don't get on that "Wait" and "Patience. He'll be here" bullshit either. I think my whole adult life w/o a Valentine's is patient enough. How much waiting u want a bish to do? I mean the first 8 yrs in adulthood I never thought about it, expected it or anything so don't go there.
So, last year I actually decided to stop praying for a mate or a Valentine's Day. That way when I don't get one, it'll be cuz I haven't asked. Silly huh? SO! Don't judge me! 3 yrs ago, I prayed for the 2 most important people in my life to have mates. They deserve it. They have boos now. Seems like that's the only prayer that will ever be answered in my life. LMAO It's all good I guess. As long as my two besties have boos then I'll be okay.  I can always just live vicariously thru them. I'm supposed to right? hahah Anyway, I won't beat a dead horse. I just wanted to speak on how I feel today. If you have a Valentine today I am happy for you (I still hate u too tho lmao). But seriously, it is a great thing to be loved and set aside. If you have a boo and love them dearly, make Valentine's Day everyday.  *sighs*
On that note, I'ma rehearse my lines for the show. Now everybody say: I remember way back when.
I'd like to wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day.

//signed//
The Cat's Purr
*skips off--when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again*

Joseph Jackson Did What?!

It's man's best friend. It's loyal, loves him, and is a work horse when the man has worked 14 hr days. It's entertaining, comes in all colors and never mutters a word. In shades of gray, tones of black and hues of browns, it will sit in the man's lap all day. And most of the time it does just what you tell it. It's there when he wakes up and sits still when the man's asleep. If you're thinking Fido, Pooch or Killer than you are way off key--well sort of. I've never seen a dog occupy a man's lap upon hours on end but I have witnessed a remote control never to leave sight of a few men, even my perfect daddy. Everyone who has enjoyed the use of their programmable DVD, DVR, TIVO, and television remote controllers owes a thank you to Mr. Joseph N. Jackson.

No, he didn't have a brood of famously singing children in Indiana nor was he a Caucasian major league baseball player. He was the inventor of man's second best friend.

 

Mr. Jackson was born in Harvey, Louisiana as the fourth of eight children born to Ernest and Octavia Jackson. At the age of 17 he went to work as an oil field tool maintenance helper before joining the United States Army at the age of 18. While enlisted in the Army he worked unloading ships in Alaska from 1956-1957 and as a Military Policeman from 1958-1961. In 1961 he received his high school GED. After which, he went to television repair school at night, and later owned and operated a Radio and Television Repair Shop part-time for 7 years in Fayetteville, North Carolina. He was honorably discharged from the Army in February 1968 after 12 years of service. He rejoined in Jun 1970, and worked in Korea as an engineer equipment technician. In 1971, he graduated from the U.S. Army Recruiting and Career Counselor School and work in Boston, MA in 1971-1972.He transferred to California in 1973 as an Army Recruiter and Career Counselor until his retirement July 1978. In 1975 he completed his degree in Business Administration from Columbia College, Columbia, MO.

These efforts led to the precursor of the V-Chip. The V-Chip is an electronic chip which works in conjunction with your television, VCR, or cable box. It is used in the television industry to block out violent and objectionable programs that could be seen by young children. Mr. Jackson is the creator of the Programmable Television Receiver Controllers and other innovative devices for the television industry. Joseph Jackson is presently the holder of at least 6 U.S. Patents in the area of telecommunications and Fertility Prediction Devices for females, several copyrights, trademarks, and Pending Patents in the area or Aircraft security and Tracking. He currently holds a PH.D. in Applied Science and Technology from Glendale University. He was recently honored in the City of Carson, CA, with an honorary Doctorate in Business Administration for his contribution to society. Speaks some conversational Korean and Spanish. This living legend is an inventor, scientist, businessman, humanitarian and Co-founder of the Black Inventions Museum, Inc. To date, he continues to work on ideas that will enhance the lives of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE!

So, the next time my daddy yells for me to come down 3 flights of stairs to hand him the remote, or you use this handy lil device to change your radio station even though your arm is less than six inches from radio, we have this man to thank. And if you so happen to find yourself  rolling through Hawthorne, California, throw ya hands up and say hey to Dr. Joe Jackson for me would ya?

//signed//

The Cat's Meow