Ten 4/Over & Out

It's appearing that guys these days are too busy to ask a girl out but out but have just enough "free time" to ask a girl over. I'm so weary of this concept. I get accosted on rare occasions by men and when I say rarely, I can count the encounters on one hand and half of the other in the past 7 years. If they do TEXT or call it's always to come visit or for me to visit them. WTF is that all about? At first I thought it was how I conduct myself but after further querying & experimentation I come to find that it's not all me. I've even tried dressing different (non sexy), non flirtatious (if at all) and totally not be myself and the dudes that encounter this side of me STILL call for an "over" and not "out". Am I that bad? What is the deal with meeting me/taking me OUT to have some fun? I know I'm not a perfect beauty queen (in my mind I am and that's all that counts) to everyone but I know I'm not the sister of Frankenstein. My personality is huge yet I am still humble and always conduct myself accordingly when in public. Is my light that bright that they are afraid of it? I mean really, what gives? I don't want to come to your dirty house and meet your boys. I barely know YOU! I don't want you in my house messing up my pink throne. I barely KNOW you. Why aren't they trying to KNOW ME? I see them sitting back all the time scoping the scene, shying away when I introduce myself, asking their friends about me or however they come about me but when it's time to put up or shut up I get the, "You wanna come over?" When I ask anything otherwise it's the "I'm really busy during the day" bullshit. Yeah I know it's just cuz they want the ass but GOTDAMNIT, DO ALL DUDES JUST WANT THE ASS?! It's really disappointing. I know there are many times when one's schedule is booked with necessities throughout the day. I'm one of those people. I work full time, go to school full time, I run my own business for what it's worth and I do community services but I do make time for people I wish to know. Why am I not afforded this same privilege? Am I not worth knowing at all besides the boom-boom room? When I don't put out it's a put off and that's cool but all men can't be the same. I've tried evaluating myself and altering a few things but now I know it aint that I give off this "I wanna screw" vibe. I've asked my friends that are known to be honest to watch me and give an honest opinion, male and female, and they don't see that vibe either. So what gives? Am I really that bad. The ones that do take the time out to KNOW of me somewhat is scared off, tell me how great and ideal I am just to disappear. It lightweight saddens me. I'm not trying to marry the dudes, I just enjoy a male's companionship every once in a while. Come to think of it, the one I professed my love for and to in February hasn't taken me out. We've been out but moreso under each other. After years of this, does he not want to be seen with me either? This suxs major ass. I'm giving up. Having a mate obviously is NOT for me.

//signed//
The Cat's Purr