A Lesson In Potatoes

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates. So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

 
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred or grudges for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

//signed//

The Forgiving Cat's Meow

How the Hell do YOU Know?!

Aug 30, 2009

A woman tells her daughter, "Homosexuality is wrong and it's not God's plan for you." Bitch how do YOU know what God's plan is for anyone? Did yall have a personal discussion about HIS plans 4 someone else? How do YOU know that being straight was his plan 4 your ass? How about talking 2 him about YOU instead of someone else? Why would the maker discuss someone else's personal business with you exactly? How do You know he didn't plan for you to be a nun or a waitress or something? He didn't plan for you to be a simple bish but you obviously are! I get too upset when folk demean the sexuality of someone else. I mean really, do you have anything else to do besides judge? Hold up...don't answer that b/c its apparent that you don't. People never cease to amaze. This imbecile's mind was just as open as a ski lift in the summer. ugh!

//signed//

The Irritable Cat's Meow

So Sexy As You Say

Dec 4, 2007

I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, fully clothed in skin and sweet lavender spray.
Yet you never lift a finger to caress my inner thigh
But only to kiss me softly right before shut eye.
Do I not resemble the girl on your computer screen, the woman in your dreams?
Is my skin too dark? My hips too wide?
When I walk does my hair not fling side to side?
Perhaps my chest is too small or my ankles too petite or maybe you hate my smile for the space in my teeth.
My lips are your favorite and "oh how you love my ass".
But how could you love my touch so much yet fall asleep so fast?
I'm striving to be all you want; be how you need me to be
And all I ask is on tonight will you please make love to me?
I need this, I want you and love you desperately but just how long will I have to wait for you to touch the inner me?
I lay here beside you "so sexy" as you say, only clothed in skin and shame and my fading lavender spray.

elvadaseleithia/20071205
*written for no one in particular*

One Way Ticket To Where-the-Hell!

Why do people say "they're in a better place" or "they are home now" when people die? How exactly do YOU know? Have you been there? I'ont think I'ma like that home. I mean, how big is the kitchen? Is there pink and photos of me in every room? And the coffin seems waaay to small to house all of my shoes and makeup. Do you get to choose your neighbors? What if you don't like your outfit? I know they say it partially because that means a person is no longer suffering on earth but.....just but...what if the person is NOT suffering from anything? I mean I don't have the best of times all the times and sometimes I get a lil down and broken hearted but my life is not that bad. It's actually pretty damn cool. Not being able to pay a bill or bored or powerful headache doesn't constitute ending it all for me. Who said a mofo was suffering? Aint no coming back from death and I don't like to visit places I can't come back from. That's scary. I'll miss my peeps. I'll miss my shoes & the stove. They may not eat cake where I'm going, though I'm Buddhist and believe a bit differently, humor me will ya? What if I haven't accomplished the things I set out to do yet? Is there a redo? Who will be ME whilst I'm gone? No one can pull that shit off! And if the carpet is made of clouds like they say then I definitely can't go cuz my stilettos would just go straight through them clouds. NOT GOOD!  I need to know the weather conditions up there cuz I don't like wearing coats! Am I guaranteed to see ALL of my peeps that have passed B4 me? What? They say they're gonna meet me there so shit, if they are there can we play a game of spades? I'm not understanding why there isn't a round trip ticket offered on this trip "home". I mean, I go home all the time to Atlanta but I bring my black ass back to where I LIVE! How is not being able to shoe shop, make love and eat cake a better friggin place? I demand a gotdamn recount and new survey. It's like people being "thankful to be alive". Be thankful for shit you can experience and can tell the difference. Be thankful for the sun cuz you don't appreciate the rain. Be thankful for having food cuz you've experienced being hungry but you can't be thankful for living unless you've experienced death and since u can't come back from this "better place" then that is not possible.  I am thankful for the great things IN my life is better. Who ever said this shit above has better be reputable. They better have been to death and was able to 'live' and tell about it. I aint met one yet, have you?  No one has come back and told me they like that there new home OR that they like it better than being on earth so I kinda wanna pass but I know I will be forced to go. I know one thing, I aint going w/o a good ass fight. Kicking & screaming in my stilettos all the damn way! WHAT SET U CLAIM!?

//signed//
The Eternal Cat's Meow

I'm Not A Kid Anymore But Sum Days I Sit & Wish I Was A Kid Again...

     The longer we live and the more mature we get, there will be reminders that will make us sit and wish we were kids again *in my Ahmad voice*. Lollipops & candy stops or a fast ride down a slip-n-slide. Base stealing and big wheeling; kool-aid toasting or rollercoasting makes us long for the days when we had no rent to pay, no car to gas up, no job to hate & no calories to count. These were the days when you recieved things that you don't get as adults. Today is one of those days. I only experienced Valentine's Day as a kid. I miss those hard ass "Be Mine" candies. They were full of calories, carbs and sometimes love. It was puppy love grant it but at least it meant something. These were the days where you got lil cards from your favorite friends instead of Valentine's Day text messages or links on your Facebook page.
     Funny thing is, these are the only Valentine Days I remember. I never had one as an adult. I've wished for one, two or a few but I never got them. Even when I had a boo I didn't have a Valentine's Day and that usually meant I had no bornday from him either. They are nearly one in the same. Now you know that's dreadful to have a boo but not have a V Day! Damn that's pitiful! LOL  It was always the "I forgot" or "It's here already? (insert fake ass shock face)" or "Babe it's not working. It's not you, it's me" bullshit like a week before the big day. Let's not mention the ones who tried to return to the relationship on like February 20th. Nah Boo, if it wasn't "working" on Feb 7th then the 20th won't be any different.

     I try and stay in the house on this day and celebrate my birthday the whole month including weekends. Why the whole month? Shit I was shorted! Short month (28 days duh!), Black History month, Valentine's and President's Day all rolled in that one month? Shit I deserve to celebrate 28 days (sometimes 29). I don't go to the movies that day, I don't go out to eat, I don't go to the park and I don't visit any place where couples dwell. Now, before you get to ranting and issuing out unsolicited advice, just know that I love me. I love me all the time. I take me on dates, I spoil me, buy me flowers, kiss me at night and the whole nine. I do it damn near all year. Valentine's Day is just a reminder that I do all of this stuff for me and me alone. When will someone else do this shit? LOL I love flowers from others too. I don't want to pay for the meal ALL the time and I'd love for someone to make the day about ME. Can someone else cook ME a meal? Shit I like to eat too damnit! lol Yeah, it is just another day when you get down to it but it's a day set aside for your boo  or for you and damnit I wanna be set aside too! I wanna be spoiled and have that "Ah honey you shouldn't have" (grabs flowers) moment 2! I, too, like songs dedicated to me on a special day. Shit this is one of the reasons I don't like going to the movies on VDay or any day. Mofos always in there holding hands and necking and shit. Get a damn room! Don't nobody wanna see alladat...if they aint doing it too! *rolls eyes* Oh and please don't get on that "Wait" and "Patience. He'll be here" bullshit either. I think my whole adult life w/o a Valentine's is patient enough. How much waiting u want a bish to do? I mean the first 8 yrs in adulthood I never thought about it, expected it or anything so don't go there.
So, last year I actually decided to stop praying for a mate or a Valentine's Day. That way when I don't get one, it'll be cuz I haven't asked. Silly huh? SO! Don't judge me! 3 yrs ago, I prayed for the 2 most important people in my life to have mates. They deserve it. They have boos now. Seems like that's the only prayer that will ever be answered in my life. LMAO It's all good I guess. As long as my two besties have boos then I'll be okay.  I can always just live vicariously thru them. I'm supposed to right? hahah Anyway, I won't beat a dead horse. I just wanted to speak on how I feel today. If you have a Valentine today I am happy for you (I still hate u too tho lmao). But seriously, it is a great thing to be loved and set aside. If you have a boo and love them dearly, make Valentine's Day everyday.  *sighs*
On that note, I'ma rehearse my lines for the show. Now everybody say: I remember way back when.
I'd like to wish you all a very Happy Valentine's Day.

//signed//
The Cat's Purr
*skips off--when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again*

Joseph Jackson Did What?!

It's man's best friend. It's loyal, loves him, and is a work horse when the man has worked 14 hr days. It's entertaining, comes in all colors and never mutters a word. In shades of gray, tones of black and hues of browns, it will sit in the man's lap all day. And most of the time it does just what you tell it. It's there when he wakes up and sits still when the man's asleep. If you're thinking Fido, Pooch or Killer than you are way off key--well sort of. I've never seen a dog occupy a man's lap upon hours on end but I have witnessed a remote control never to leave sight of a few men, even my perfect daddy. Everyone who has enjoyed the use of their programmable DVD, DVR, TIVO, and television remote controllers owes a thank you to Mr. Joseph N. Jackson.

No, he didn't have a brood of famously singing children in Indiana nor was he a Caucasian major league baseball player. He was the inventor of man's second best friend.

 

Mr. Jackson was born in Harvey, Louisiana as the fourth of eight children born to Ernest and Octavia Jackson. At the age of 17 he went to work as an oil field tool maintenance helper before joining the United States Army at the age of 18. While enlisted in the Army he worked unloading ships in Alaska from 1956-1957 and as a Military Policeman from 1958-1961. In 1961 he received his high school GED. After which, he went to television repair school at night, and later owned and operated a Radio and Television Repair Shop part-time for 7 years in Fayetteville, North Carolina. He was honorably discharged from the Army in February 1968 after 12 years of service. He rejoined in Jun 1970, and worked in Korea as an engineer equipment technician. In 1971, he graduated from the U.S. Army Recruiting and Career Counselor School and work in Boston, MA in 1971-1972.He transferred to California in 1973 as an Army Recruiter and Career Counselor until his retirement July 1978. In 1975 he completed his degree in Business Administration from Columbia College, Columbia, MO.

These efforts led to the precursor of the V-Chip. The V-Chip is an electronic chip which works in conjunction with your television, VCR, or cable box. It is used in the television industry to block out violent and objectionable programs that could be seen by young children. Mr. Jackson is the creator of the Programmable Television Receiver Controllers and other innovative devices for the television industry. Joseph Jackson is presently the holder of at least 6 U.S. Patents in the area of telecommunications and Fertility Prediction Devices for females, several copyrights, trademarks, and Pending Patents in the area or Aircraft security and Tracking. He currently holds a PH.D. in Applied Science and Technology from Glendale University. He was recently honored in the City of Carson, CA, with an honorary Doctorate in Business Administration for his contribution to society. Speaks some conversational Korean and Spanish. This living legend is an inventor, scientist, businessman, humanitarian and Co-founder of the Black Inventions Museum, Inc. To date, he continues to work on ideas that will enhance the lives of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLDWIDE!

So, the next time my daddy yells for me to come down 3 flights of stairs to hand him the remote, or you use this handy lil device to change your radio station even though your arm is less than six inches from radio, we have this man to thank. And if you so happen to find yourself  rolling through Hawthorne, California, throw ya hands up and say hey to Dr. Joe Jackson for me would ya?

//signed//

The Cat's Meow

Don't Play A "Man", Be One!

I find that many men in today's society are "playing" a man, when in actuality, they lack the understanding of relationship balance. Simply put, you get what you give or you just settle for the leftovers. ~Joscelyn C. Rachal (MY friend)

I, oftentimes, hear men talk about the type of women they want. I've compiled a list of things that the fellas deem necessary to be his boo:

• I need a woman that's a "good girl" but at the same time not (huh?)
• She needs to be down for me and us
• Versitile...can take her with me anywhere
• Need her to know her role...let me be the man, but be a STRONG woman for me and us (let a man be a man? I've addressed this before...smh)
• She gotta be smart, somewhat educated, street smart (I'm guessing this means a HS diploma will suffice)
• Be my strength when I need to be weak (click LIKE button)
• Know when to be quiet (dumb)
• Can cook her ass off
• Doesn't mind me kicking it with the fellas
• Let's me know what is on her mind or what she is feeling
• I can't just walk all over her, cuz if I can...sadly, I will (o_O)
• She's gotta be my woman, my lady, my friend, my homie, my rider, my freak
• Keep me happy...and do right by me and for us...and I'll do everything in my power to do the same (such a poweful and wonderful ending eh?)

Now of course being the empowered woman that I am, some of this doesn't sit too well with me but this is not a male bashing post. It's more of an educational one so I'll save my Post of Disdain for later. My question is: What attributes are you presenting to attract a suitable mate? I mean you want a communicative woman that can cook her ass off and will give a BJ at any given time with her versatile self? Hmmm..... Those are some good attributes to have. They are 'somewhat' fairly reasonable. Who wouldn't want these things? The best way to obtain this 'dream' is to live it yourself. A lot of times we wish or ask for things that we, ourselves, are not really ready for. Ya know, the things that we are not willing to dish out. I mean how many mates have you had that wanted you to communicate only for them not to reciprocate? I'll wait.....
What about the ones who demanded four play but his or her face never me the 'inner' or 'outter' you'? Still waiting...
I got it! I got it! Raise ya hand if you really didn't mind your mate kicking it with the friends but they either did it far too often, not enough or gave you the side-eye when it was you turn to party w/o them? Ok tired of waiting!
I'm sure a lot of this has happened. It will happen again most likely and is bound to happen if it hasn't already. Our job is to recognize what we want and be willing to reciprocate that which what we are asking for. That means accept it when it's in front of you only when you are ready. Don't dish out what you can't take and don't demand shit you are not willing to do. You want me to cook my ass off? Gotdamnit, DESERVE me cooking my ass off. U want smoked apple wood bacon? Get your ass out there and bring it home! I will not BUY it, OPEN it, COOK it, PLATE it AND DIGEST it all while you do absolutely nothing! I will not LET you be the man. You BE the man. Yes Dear, kick it with the fellas til the cows come home but ya damn sure betta gimme my damn time. You will get your time. I'm at that place in my life where reciprocation is damn nar my middle name. It used to be that I gave alot and settled for little. We do that when we don't feel deserving or there is nothing better or we feel the situation will get better. NEWSFLASH: It WON'T get better if ya settle. We all deserve a loving relationship. Not at the same time mind you but we all deserve it. We all need it. We all want it. The question is: Will you be READY for it?

//signed//
The READY WILLING & ABLE Cat's Meow

Sometimes, it's fear of not knowing what to do with love that makes people resistant. And I think some people don't feel that they deserve that type of raw, real love. It's intimidating and would require one to become transparent which is a daunting task for most. ~Eno Enoinwek

It Takes One 2 Know One!

If I hear 1 mo' female claim they can't be friends with other females cuz they are jealous, catty, untrustworthy or sneaky, I will commence to letting her ass have it! If you'd rather have male friends than have em , SAY  that and own up to it but don't make excuses for having them. Saying these negative things about women makes you look ig'nant. YOU are a woman so what does that say about you? I'm a firm believer that most times you attract who you are so if you feel that way, look in the damn mirror! Just like misery loves company, so does catty jealous women. Think about it and re-evaluate! I have a buncha women as friends and they don't possess any bullshit you are claiming and I'm not that way either. And this is for ALL races cuz I've heard damn near one woman per race say it so pls don't go there either! ugh

In my personal opinion (and since this is MY blog, only my opinion count), this is coming from a place of insecurity & envy. Perhaps you had a "friend" to bed your man before, perhaps you had a "friend" that was very catty or maybe even envious of you...or so you thought.  Perhaps...just perhaps...its neither! Maybe you are the culprit! You don't trust women because you can't trust yourself. You are prone to bed another woman's man. Maybe you are prone to envy another female who could potentially steal YOUR shine. What do you think? My girlfriends have been in my life for a while and they are all bomb sistahs! Empowering Beautiful Successful Sexy Educated Great etc etc etc. There is not cattiness going on in my circle and if anyone is 'jealous' they do a great job of not showing it. They have an equal amount of male and female friends. I'm sure that so called friend you had showed signs of negativity initially but you chose to stay their friend. Maybe you even took part in their 'untrustworthy' behavior. Did you help them stab someone in the back or help them lie while bedding someones husband? Did you think they wouldn't do the same to you? Don't get mad b/c you shat where you ate and now the chickens are coming home to roost. People know who are like them. They flock to those that are like them. People know who they can conduct shady business with. They smell another bullshitter. If you entertain this madness then birds of a feather, Honey! If women are bitchy to you then maybe YOUR ass is bitchy! Don't sit around a group of men and bash other females. They mistreat women because YOU are assisting them in doing so. Why bash us around ya boys? Are you tryna smother the competition? Are you tryna put in an early bid low-key? Hmph its what I call pre-whoring! 

This illogical behavior only keeps one from evolving, revolving, succeeding and progressing.

The difference b/w you and I is, when I see this negative behavior, I nip it in the bud immediately by  ending the potential friendship. Once people see that you don't mind their foolishness, it gives them free range to do whatever the hell they want and by you doing nothing about it, you can be at the end of their foolishness stick. When people show you who they are initially, believe them. Foolishness begets foolishness. Petty behavior condones petty behavior. Catty bitches know catty bitches. Birds of the same feather-----wear the same stilettos.

//signed//
The Cool & Calculated, Canny yet Uncatty Cat's Meow