Don't Play A "Man", Be One!

I find that many men in today's society are "playing" a man, when in actuality, they lack the understanding of relationship balance. Simply put, you get what you give or you just settle for the leftovers. ~Joscelyn C. Rachal (MY friend)

I, oftentimes, hear men talk about the type of women they want. I've compiled a list of things that the fellas deem necessary to be his boo:

• I need a woman that's a "good girl" but at the same time not (huh?)
• She needs to be down for me and us
• Versitile...can take her with me anywhere
• Need her to know her role...let me be the man, but be a STRONG woman for me and us (let a man be a man? I've addressed this before...smh)
• She gotta be smart, somewhat educated, street smart (I'm guessing this means a HS diploma will suffice)
• Be my strength when I need to be weak (click LIKE button)
• Know when to be quiet (dumb)
• Can cook her ass off
• Doesn't mind me kicking it with the fellas
• Let's me know what is on her mind or what she is feeling
• I can't just walk all over her, cuz if I can...sadly, I will (o_O)
• She's gotta be my woman, my lady, my friend, my homie, my rider, my freak
• Keep me happy...and do right by me and for us...and I'll do everything in my power to do the same (such a poweful and wonderful ending eh?)

Now of course being the empowered woman that I am, some of this doesn't sit too well with me but this is not a male bashing post. It's more of an educational one so I'll save my Post of Disdain for later. My question is: What attributes are you presenting to attract a suitable mate? I mean you want a communicative woman that can cook her ass off and will give a BJ at any given time with her versatile self? Hmmm..... Those are some good attributes to have. They are 'somewhat' fairly reasonable. Who wouldn't want these things? The best way to obtain this 'dream' is to live it yourself. A lot of times we wish or ask for things that we, ourselves, are not really ready for. Ya know, the things that we are not willing to dish out. I mean how many mates have you had that wanted you to communicate only for them not to reciprocate? I'll wait.....
What about the ones who demanded four play but his or her face never me the 'inner' or 'outter' you'? Still waiting...
I got it! I got it! Raise ya hand if you really didn't mind your mate kicking it with the friends but they either did it far too often, not enough or gave you the side-eye when it was you turn to party w/o them? Ok tired of waiting!
I'm sure a lot of this has happened. It will happen again most likely and is bound to happen if it hasn't already. Our job is to recognize what we want and be willing to reciprocate that which what we are asking for. That means accept it when it's in front of you only when you are ready. Don't dish out what you can't take and don't demand shit you are not willing to do. You want me to cook my ass off? Gotdamnit, DESERVE me cooking my ass off. U want smoked apple wood bacon? Get your ass out there and bring it home! I will not BUY it, OPEN it, COOK it, PLATE it AND DIGEST it all while you do absolutely nothing! I will not LET you be the man. You BE the man. Yes Dear, kick it with the fellas til the cows come home but ya damn sure betta gimme my damn time. You will get your time. I'm at that place in my life where reciprocation is damn nar my middle name. It used to be that I gave alot and settled for little. We do that when we don't feel deserving or there is nothing better or we feel the situation will get better. NEWSFLASH: It WON'T get better if ya settle. We all deserve a loving relationship. Not at the same time mind you but we all deserve it. We all need it. We all want it. The question is: Will you be READY for it?

//signed//
The READY WILLING & ABLE Cat's Meow

Sometimes, it's fear of not knowing what to do with love that makes people resistant. And I think some people don't feel that they deserve that type of raw, real love. It's intimidating and would require one to become transparent which is a daunting task for most. ~Eno Enoinwek