Friday, May 13, 2011

As I Stand In the Presence of Greatness

On my blessed walk to my office at my new job this week, I noticed that I would have to pass a library every day. This particular library was dedicated to one of the most esteemed neurologist and neuroscientist there, Dr Wallace Tourtellotte. I thought to myself, “Who on earth could that be with a name like that and with every doctoral known to man? “Today, on my downtime, instead of Facebooking, I decided to find out. I mean I am an Aquarius. We research EVERYTHING! Nothing gets by us!
What better way to see who this man is than to mosey around in the book repository named for him. Surely, I thought, they would have some type of history on who he was. I thought wrong…sorta. All of the books in this library were under lock and key! What-Sam-Hill-In-The-Valley is going on here? Who locks up library books or any book for that matter? My mind is an umbrella; it only works when opened just like books.  Hmmm……as I scratch my dimpled chin with finely manicured hands. *speaking of which, I’m in need of a manicure* Anywho, I couldn’t help but to stare at the portrait of him on the wall. The portrait had to have been painted long before the invention of stilettos. I wondered how he became to be of such greatness that there is a room that bears his name. I thought, “This picture is old as hell so I know buddy aint on earth anymore. Rest in peace Mr. Man with all of the D’s in his title.” I smiled. I love greatness.
Curiosity got the best of me. I still couldn’t help but to wonder who this man was. I pull up my trusty friend Mr. GOOGLE. His ass knows everything and everybody. I began to type in the search engine T-O-U-R-T-E-L-L-O-T-T-E…enter. As the picture pops up the damn library door opens. Wtf? Who has the code to come in here to damn disturb me? Before I turn completely around to see the trespasser, I hear a voice that says,”Don’t get up. It’s no one of importance.” I agreed to stay seated….as if THIS Diva was gonna stand up anyway. I joked around, “Fine. I shall do as I’m told,” He says, “Great. At least for now that’s good.” He chuckled hard as hell. I decided to turn around to see who is chuckling like Old Saint Nick. My eyes rested upon this very mature gentleman. In my mind he had to be about 110 years old. How the hell is he still moving around? He says, “My, aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes. Hi there you pretty lil thing you.” Now yall know I normally woulda cut a damn fool for anyone calling me a thing but since the word was preceded with ‘pretty’, I decided to let him slide just this once. *smiles* I thanked him. For some reason I felt the sense of greatness surround me so I decided to stand. He told me I didn’t have to go but I insisted. I wanted to go and research my man Dr Tourtellotte in peace. Besides, I would give this poor man a heart-attack if I stayed and flirted with him. “I must get back to work now”, I told him. He didn’t recognize me. I thought it was because his poor lil sight was leaving him because surely everyone knows me. LMAO I introduced myself. He extended his hand to me and as I took it, a magnetic force generated from my hands to my elbow. “Well I’m Wallace Tourlette, So pleased to meet you.” My jaw dropped Honeys! Literally and that’s a lot with these lips of mine.  I looked over at the computer screen with his face on it still. I looked up at the portrait that bore his name and I let out a Diva-ish squeal.“Oh my! Is that you on the wall?” “That old thing? Ah fooey!”, he says, “That’s not even my good side.” I was so astounded! Now yall know my ass is dramatic. My eyes grew extra large and my lips became extra bubbly. “Well I’ll be damned. I was just about to research you.” “No need”, he says, “I am still alive. This is like my second office.” “So you come here to let it all out?” “Yep!” “Well they need to keep your office clean at all times then damnit! How dare they!” I began moving chairs out of his way and immediately became disgruntled at the untidiness of the place. I mean he’s like 100 years old. He can’t be tripping and falling and such. I dusted off his little table and everything. I was so happy cuz yall know my ass won’t even dust my own table, let alone some dude I just met.


Dr. Tourtellotte has dedicated over 60 years of his life to brain research. He has a Ph.D, M.D. and all the other D’s behind his name. Man that is some real dedication to healthcare. He IS a radiologist, neuroscientist, neurologist and author of at least six books! Lawd hammurcy on my lil o’ pretty soul. He’s been doing this since before my mama was born! That means I wasn’t even (yes I’m aware of the double negative) thought about yet! Yeah I know you are prolly thinking, “Ok bish. Why are YOU so excited over something so little?” WRONG! This is NOT little. I love legacies, especially one I get to witness. And the little things inspire me and make me most happiest than the suspected joys of the big things. All that time I thought the old guy had kicked the bucket. His honorable butt is still around kicking buckets. Doesn’t that just beat all?! I am literally beaming. I guess TPTB wanted me to see for myself that to assume is just that---made an ASS outta ME! What a great way to start the weekendJ

Dr. Tourtellotte
//signed//
The Pretty Lil Thing of a Cat’s Meow

Monday, May 2, 2011

YOU don't make ME beautiful!

Ya know, the severity of people's ignorance still amazes me in the year of 2011! But if you know me, then you know that I am allergic to bullshit and foolishness. I try to avoid it at all cost but like attention, ignorance is my personal paparazzi.

Sometime last week while me and 1 of my boos, Jesse, were having a few drinks in WeHo (West Hollywood for the non Cali-literate) when someone of the Caucasian descent inquired about his ethnicity because of the grade of his hair. Really dude? You asked what he was mixed with because his hair was not "kinky like I mostly see"? Some of yall are really growing big balls this year I see. I will say that my boi handled the question with such class and dignity. Now had this question been asked of him about 2 years ago, I may have been raising money for Jesse's bail. My, how my boo have grown.

Now fast foward to today. Idiot savant in class to me: Wow you have such soft looking hair and its so curly. Are both of your parents black?
Now for some reason the hush that came over the room should have been her cue to shut the hell up but she chose to demonstrate this "Was it something I said?" kind of bullshhhhaat! See what happens when ya open ya mouth to say absolutely nothing? It causes me to get in that ass. Tryna play that ditsy role will NOT fly with me bish! It's not cute and the question is NOT that innocent like you are pretending to portray it.
Grace!
Me: Attention all white people, Latino people, Asian people and all the like. Do not ask a black person if he or she is mixed if they have hair like Jesse. Do not ask if Stacey has Asian in her because her eyes are 'Asian-like'. Do not ask us if we are of another ethnicity because our eyes maybe of any color other than dark brown.  MY people's beauty come in all sorts of shades of color, grades of coiffure & hues of eyes. When you see YOUR definition of beauty, don't try and take credit for it! We are beautiful without your blood ya dig! In these days in time, it baffles me how ignorant people choose to be. Yes, I said choose. It's hard for me to believe that in 2011 you still contribute OUR beauty to that of YOUR ancestry. We have green, blue and hazel eyes. WE all don't claim to have Indian or White in our families. Some of our hair is soft and curly and NOT what you CLAIM to be used to. That excuse would have worked in the 40's, MAYBE, but not now. I will NOT sit around and watch you under-mindedly insult my people in public or otha-fucking-wise! You are not responsible for the allurement of my people! Don't merit yourself for our exquisiteness! EVERY race have beautiful people, with or without a mixture. Grace Jones is a beautiful as Lena Horne. Kenya Moore is just as beautiful and Kimora Lee Simmons. Tomiko Fraser-Hines is just as beautiful as Dorothy Dandridge! Stop trying to claim OUR Michael Ealy! He has told you his parents are black so get over it. We don't need your validation to be validated. And just because we may have a surname of something besides Williams, Smith or Thompson, it doesn't mean we are mixed with a Latin Reyes or Morales. We come from countries other than Africa and the US so there are black Gonzales' & Morenos, Burkes & Goodacres so grow the hell up. Quit trying to be a contributoring factor in the beauty of black! It for damn sho' aint cute and I for damn sure know you are NOT that ignorant! What you eat don't make us shit!

Tomiko!


Silence...DONE!

I went easy on that bish this time but with the next victim, I won't be so gotdamn nice!

//signed//
The PROUD TO BE A BLACK CAT'S MEOW!