Friday, February 5, 2010

3 Tears N Da Bucket, Fuck It!

Whilst browsing thru the queendom after a long day at work and school, I decided to turn on the tv at 1 AM due to the inability to sleep. I stumbled across that show Millionaire Matchmaker and its rerun of the episode Millionairess Meltdown. This millionairessbitch agreed to go out with a gentleman on a date. He sends her a beautiful red dress to wear on the date and the ungrateful bitch complained about the size and threw it across the bed. Then she had the nerve to not even wear the dress and be late coming downstairs to the car. Now the kicker and the trigger for me was when the trollop came down, shook his hand and scurried back into the damn hotel. She ran so fast that her shoe came off. He picked her shoe up and waited for her to come back down to the car. Po' thang waited his new tan off cuz her ass never returned. Her bama ass had the nerve to leave her shoe behind like she was Cinderella! More like a damn Bitcherella to me. My heart sank to the bottom of my pink footed pajama. This pain and embarrasment was all too familiar to me.
I agreed to go out on a date with this guy who shall remain nameless (his name rhymes with Nathan Fornicate). I got all dolled up like you know I do, splashed on my lil face paint and was dressed to kill. I was so excited. I hadn't been on a date since...since...since...does my check up at the GYN count? Anyway, I waited for his arrival, I went down to get him to bring him up for a glass of wine, went into my room to find my purse and a quick glance in the mirror when I hear, "I'll be right back. Gotta get something from the car." The door shut and there was complete silence. You'd think that I would be elated but for some reason the butterflies in my stomach weren't from excitement, it was from an intuition. Nah I thought, "It's just nervousness from not being on a date since Mary kissed Joseph to get Jesus." Five minutes went by. Ten minutes had come and gone before I decided to go down and possibly meet him at the car. I got on the elevator, clutched my purse and then got off on the ground floor. I went outside the double glass doors only to find the spot were his car had been was empty. I looked "to da left, to da left" and there was no sign of the guy who's name ryhmed with Nathan. My heart sank like it did for the young man on the show but only at this time, my heart sank to the bottom of my pink, tear-stained stiletto. I called him on the way back to my apartment but I got no answer. Needless to say, I was very disappointed and very sad. I vowed that this would not happen to me again and it hasn't. But that could be because no one asks me out on a real date anyway (scratches head).
Whatever, his loss now, though I felt slighted at that time. I'm not sure what lesson I was supposed to have learned from all of this but I hope I learned it....I think.

Hmph..don't cry over spilled milk cuz my makeup is too expensive for that shit.

//signed//
The Cat's Meow
*dialing Patti Stanger*

2 comments:

Elle Sendejo said...

The lesson you learned is that he is a loser anyway and he just saved you a lot of time by showing you his true colors from the beginning!

The Cat's Meow said...

Thank you Tisha. I lost what I was 'fosed to learn. Thanks for the reminder:)