If It Don't Fit, You Must Acquit.....

They say true love aint easy but in all retrospect, something that is true and meant to be is not supposed to be a complicated transaction, am I correct? Hmmmm...A size 8 is my TRUE shoe size so tryin on a 5, 6 or 7 would NOT be a free flowing deal. Why? Cuz my feet aren't MEANT to fit! DUH! This saying gets a lot of us in trouble. It makes us partake in those "I'll stick around until it changes" festivities. True, love will have it's ups and downs but how does one appreciate the sun if they've never experienced the rain? And that's all it should be...RAIN, not THUNDERSTORMS, HURRICANES & TORNADOES. Ever noticed that the rain rejuevenates, replenishes & revitalizes oh and provides free car washes? The latter tears shit up and runs amuck. Who wants that in life? Wayment, I digress, some people actually choose to weather these damn storms so if you do then clearly I'm not speaking to you. You're one of those low self esteem individuals and I don't deal with your kind.

Now when I say a smooth transaction, I mean one doesn't have to resort to foolish game playing, super sleuthing, changing yourself or someone else. Consider how hard it is to change yourself cuz only then will you see the difficulty in changing others.  If you have to change someone else, that's not an easy transaction. The fact that you wish to change someone is difficult for me to stomach anyway. Who wants a person to walk like them, talk like them, believe like them and act like them? If that aint some boring shit than I don't know what is. I don't know if I can handle someone that is JUST like me. I mean, I'm a handful honey. Two of me in the world would NOT be the business for all parties involved!

If every time you look around, you and your boo or friend or fam member is up for therapy then how easy is this transaction? If y'all quit talking to each other at least once a week, what kind of relationship is this? They are calling, you send them to voicemail....you're in the same house but CHOOSE to be in different rooms.....he wants fish and you want chicken so since no one wants to compromise, no one eats and both your asses are hungry.....she lies, you stick around and not trust her...everything is rocky but you insist that things getting better. Then again, sometimes we make shit wrinkle when it's smooth on it's own. Hmmmm I've never seen a building stand steadfast on a coarse, rough or uneven foundation but I have seen a size 10 squeeze into a size 8 shoe and it looks a mess. I'm sure it feels a mess too! However it starts, that's exactly how it'll end.

//signed//
The Cat's Meow

Back Again....

Life has a funny way of sneaking upon you when you think everything is ok and everything's going right. Life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face. ~Alanis Morrisette

Funny, I came into the year upset that I hadn't been onstage or screen in a while & seriously contemplated giving up the ghost. Hell, I thought, the only ones on tv & in plays now are the ones who pretty much never worked hard at their craft; the ones that lucked up, got a lil bit of shine & decided they wanted to stay there; the ones who had the privilege of having mommy and daddy's last name, the ones 'discovered' screwing a music star; ya know....those ones. I'm not a hater or anything, I just feel sometimes that I've been working at this since the age of 12 and I have yet to be where I wanna. But on a good note and the purpose for this entry today is that it's upon years end, I've hit the airwaves 3 times & I sit here with 3 scripts all within 2 months. Did I see it coming? Nope! Am I glad it's coming? Don't be silly!  *rubs gratitude rock* I am grateful. Here we go..back at it again.

//signed//
The Cat's Meow

To Whom Much Is Given...

A friend , Glendon Cameron, recently reminded me that: Most women don't really require that much from a man and thus they don't get it. So men often go for the lowest hanging fruit ( easy ass) and be done with it.

No truer words have been spoken. Well, there has been but not in this hour. Let that marinate for a second. Do you really expect what you require? Do you get it? When you don't what do you do? It's like an entry I wrote a couple of weeks back about the dude who asked me out on a date via text. The first time I let his ass know, the 2nd time I moved along. Some men aren't that lucky to get a second chance. My point here is that people only do to you what you allow. If you allow them to give you less than what you require than guess what? That's exactly what you will get! If you require a 2 inch rib eye and he can "only supply" you with less than 2 inch and you accept it along with excuses than guess what? You will be one hungry bish! If you require him to call you after every 2nd text message but he does the opposite and you accept it then you are a glutton for punishment.

Values are NOT to be compromised yet we do it time after time after time. Why? Is it because we think this is the best we can do or all we deserve? I think that's called settling? No? Than what do you call it? Settling and compromising just leads to a discounted you! Who the hell wants a discounted Boo? Not me! Besides, I don't come with a discount and I for damn sure don't come on sale so you know the 'Me on Clearance' is out of the picture.You are a classic and baby, classic are always full price. If that price is love, affection, attentiveness, compassion, communication, loyalty, honesty, no kids or baby mama drama, employment AND a 2 inch steak then so be it. Someone is willing to pay more than market value if you're worth it. Are you worth it? More so, are you ready? Don't be asking for shit you aren't ready to accept. Ooops that's another post.

I have learned and have applied this science. Requiring what I expect helps me to filter out the bs and allows me to sniff that shit out from a mile away.

     True story: A man I'll call 'Tuan Braxton' had to learn his lesson. No, I will not come to ur house for a 'date' every time u feel like u've 'worked all day & can't go out and I will NOT text u back. U wanna talk to me, call me. U wanna see me, make a date beyond ur livingroom doors and get to know me. I need to HEAR u say my name and not call me "babe" so I can KNOW u know it. If he doesn't take the time out to remember the simple things you told him then most likely he's in it for the drawls. I asked his ass what my name was at the spur of the moment and he got his Fruit O' the Loom in a bunch. Don't know my name playa but ya wanna hit it? Ummm no! When I told that mofo everything from his full name, with middle, to his birthday to the lic plate number on his car he didn't know what to do. I told him, "See I listened to everything u told me cuz I was interested in more than just a piece of ass. We are blatantly not on the same level." He tried to say that he was and he really wanted to get to know me and yada yada and blah blah & the rest of the bs they feed you. I repeated the question..."What's my name?" He got mad. "You tryna get to know a lady BEFORE u know her name huh?" *drops mic and drives off* Funny, I aint heard from him since.

Your happiness is not to be compromised. A mantra for you: I just wanna be happy!! Anyone that doesn't contribute to the cause is expendable. ~Joscelyn C. Rachal.

The antique parable goes "To whom much is given, much is required". If I'm given you my valuable time and I'm presenting you with ME than my REQUIREMENTS must be met. Anything less would be a discount and this diva does NOT do discounts on self! Plant your feet, square your shoulders and be firm in what you require. Those who value classics will meet your price and those not about shit will try to get you on sale. Don't let me find you on the clearance rack!

//signed//
The Full Priced Cat's Meow

The Lady & The Soup

Ok so this lil elderly lady passed yrs ago. My father was officiating the funeral. Loads of people were bringing up flowers, some were passing out at her feet, some were stunned but most brought shit load of flowers. Dad started delivering the eulogy. In the middle of speaking he sees a lil old lady coming up the center isle with a huge pot. She sashayed her way to the pulpit. My pops stopped his speech & asked Miss Thang if she needed help. She said, "Nope. Just dropping this off." He asked what it was. "Soup," she said. Everybody quizzically stared. She said, "What? If she can smell your flowers then she surely can eat my soup."

MORAL: One can only appreciate words & flowers b4 death. Express gratitude then & not after.

//signed//

The Moralistic Cat's Meow

What a Shitty Relationship

For relationships to be great, the participants should come together like ass cheeks; well rounded, better looking when naked (real), soft and comforting & is there to give the feet a rest.  But the only obstacle between the two is that damn crack! Or is it really an obstacle? They say that anything worth having is worth fighting for so I consider that obstacle, the fight, so to speak. That crack is getting to know, love & respect each other. The crack only becomes an obstacle when we fail to see the 'shit' that's right in front of us or when we ignore 'shit'flag in front of our face. Yes, it's human nature for one to feel they can fix things or 'clean the shit up'. That way, we can feel like we are the hero. But a hero to whom....the person we are saving or ourselves? So, I think it's safe to say that the crack helps us filter the shit storms in our lives. Without weathering these storms, we could never value the sanctity and serenity of the calm.

//signed//
The non-Shitty Cat's Meow

Fable of the Porcupine

From Mama Henny:
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.


The True Moral: Guess you gotta learn to live with the pricks in ya life.

//signed//
The Prickly Cat's Meow

The Runaway....

For T....

What’s my name?  My name doesn’t matter cos’ most of the time people don’t remember it anyway and the other half of the time I change it.  So let’s just pass on the name thing ok? ....
I guess what you call me is a runaway.  That doesn’t get it either cos’ most of the time we’re running to someplace as much as running away from it; Running to somebody who’ll understand and listen without judging us when we fuck up.   We’re supposed to be allowed to fuck up right?  At least that’s what I thought.  It’s how you learn.  You’re working so hard to be daddy’s little princess and mama’s pride and joy that sometimes you just wanna scream and be left alone.  And then you scream and nobody hears ya and ya just wanna find a place where it’s ok to be you.  You can be scared or confused or angry or just…quiet.  Where you can just be you and it’ll be alright cos’ its you that you want them to love..the you part of you.  That’s why my name doesn’t’ matter because until you love me, neither do I.....

//signed//

The Cat's Purr

The nerve of some people! Dating via text is NOT OK!

Current mood:cynical

Ok, so let's just cut to the chase...since when did it become OK to ask a person out via text message? Yeah don't answer that cuz it aint! The nerve of some people, especially ones that is supposed to 'know' you...somewhat. Now dude asked me out or to "kick it" on more than 1 occassion via text. I didn't answer the first ones initially cos' I felt he didn't know any better. But then one day I decided to tell him why I didn't answer such texts. Mama always said if a person offends you tell them about it, if they do it again after that then they did it on purpose so you may proceed to light their asses up. Hell, they are subject to what they get. So, tell me why his ass asked AGAIN via text? Yeah don't answer that one either.  And he thought the shit was funny! Its hard for me to believe I didn't get my point across the first damn time. Yeah, yeah I get that he "maybe" shy and all of that yada yada blah blah but I mean seriously, do I look like a hoe? Do I even remotely carry myself like a chicken-head or hood-rat? Then why oh why does he continue to TEST MY GANGSTA!?  Now I don't consider myself old fashioned or conservative (if you think I am, pause and take a look at the photo gallery and come back...I'll wait) cos' I am far from it but damnit I am a fucking lady...and one that curses! Its no harm in picking up the damn phone and asking me out. It takes all of 8 seconds to dial the number (2 seconds if I'm in ya Fav 5), 6 seconds to let the phone ring and hear my voice, 4 seconds for me to think about it and give U a yes or no answer, 60 seconds for us to actually confirm the date, 10 minutes to shoot the shit and 3 more seconds to bid fare-thee-well. All in all it takes well under 30 mintues for the full transaction so I don't wanna hear that "shy" bullshit.  If U find it so daunting to follow these easy steps than maybe I'm not the one you desire to kick it with. And whatever female gave you the impression that this shit was ok, may that bitch rot in hell with gasoline thongs on! Now back in the day..waaaay back in the day, I would have made an excuse for his ignorance and accepted his invitation but like I said that was waaaay back in the day as a D.I.T. (Diva-in-Training). IF I said it once, I've said it 100 time this year, This Kitty WON'T be taking NO shit from the male species this year! I've tried to be lenient, understanding, compassionate, tolerant, sweet, soft and laid back but damnit this year I'm going straight OBAMA-----Its time for a CHANGE! Yall mofo's need to get some 'ack-right' about ya and yes I said 'ack-right'...that's Act-right for the relationshiply challenged. I see right now yall don't believe fat meat is greesy! AAAhhhh the nerve of some people. I swear yall gone drive me to drink...I think I hear a cocktail calling me right now.  Its sad to see men still don't know how to approach and/or treat a lady these days no matter how old he gets. They seem to learn after they've gotten old, gray, toothless and impotent but that's like tits on a bull...useless. I'm convinced that there are only 2 perfect men in the world and that's my Daddy and "Him (insert smile)". I also see that this dude in question blantanly doesn't know a Queen when he's in the presence of one so.....OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Hmmph, he don't KNOW me like dat!

//signed//
The Irritable Cat's Meow

Stupid People Irritate Me At Times

A woman tells her daughter, "Homosexuality is wrong & it's not God's plan 4 u."

Bitch how do YOU know what God's plan is for anyone? Did yall have a personal discussion about HIS plans for someone else? How do YOU know that being straight was his plan 4 your ass? How about talking to him about YOU instead of someone else. Why would the maker discuss someone else's personal business with you exactly? How do You know he didn't plan for you to be a nun or a waitress or something? Simple beotch! I get too upset when folk demean the sexuality of someone else. I mean really, do you have anything else to do besides judge? Hold up...don't answer that b/c its apparent that you don't. People never cease to amaze me!

//signed//
The Cat's Meow

Ten 4/Over & Out

It's appearing that guys these days are too busy to ask a girl out but out but have just enough "free time" to ask a girl over. I'm so weary of this concept. I get accosted on rare occasions by men and when I say rarely, I can count the encounters on one hand and half of the other in the past 7 years. If they do TEXT or call it's always to come visit or for me to visit them. WTF is that all about? At first I thought it was how I conduct myself but after further querying & experimentation I come to find that it's not all me. I've even tried dressing different (non sexy), non flirtatious (if at all) and totally not be myself and the dudes that encounter this side of me STILL call for an "over" and not "out". Am I that bad? What is the deal with meeting me/taking me OUT to have some fun? I know I'm not a perfect beauty queen (in my mind I am and that's all that counts) to everyone but I know I'm not the sister of Frankenstein. My personality is huge yet I am still humble and always conduct myself accordingly when in public. Is my light that bright that they are afraid of it? I mean really, what gives? I don't want to come to your dirty house and meet your boys. I barely know YOU! I don't want you in my house messing up my pink throne. I barely KNOW you. Why aren't they trying to KNOW ME? I see them sitting back all the time scoping the scene, shying away when I introduce myself, asking their friends about me or however they come about me but when it's time to put up or shut up I get the, "You wanna come over?" When I ask anything otherwise it's the "I'm really busy during the day" bullshit. Yeah I know it's just cuz they want the ass but GOTDAMNIT, DO ALL DUDES JUST WANT THE ASS?! It's really disappointing. I know there are many times when one's schedule is booked with necessities throughout the day. I'm one of those people. I work full time, go to school full time, I run my own business for what it's worth and I do community services but I do make time for people I wish to know. Why am I not afforded this same privilege? Am I not worth knowing at all besides the boom-boom room? When I don't put out it's a put off and that's cool but all men can't be the same. I've tried evaluating myself and altering a few things but now I know it aint that I give off this "I wanna screw" vibe. I've asked my friends that are known to be honest to watch me and give an honest opinion, male and female, and they don't see that vibe either. So what gives? Am I really that bad. The ones that do take the time out to KNOW of me somewhat is scared off, tell me how great and ideal I am just to disappear. It lightweight saddens me. I'm not trying to marry the dudes, I just enjoy a male's companionship every once in a while. Come to think of it, the one I professed my love for and to in February hasn't taken me out. We've been out but moreso under each other. After years of this, does he not want to be seen with me either? This suxs major ass. I'm giving up. Having a mate obviously is NOT for me.

//signed//
The Cat's Purr

NOT MR. LIFETIME

One problem we, as women have, is that we all too often stick around, stay round or pray around waiting for HIM to come around. We arrest our poor souls in hopes that he will change his mind about how he feels about us. Newsflash: People are who they are and love who they love. A tiger doesn't change his stripes. Sometimes we have a tendency to believe "he'll come around' or "he's just saying that he doesn't want a relationship b/c he's scared." Or try this one, "he's being this way because he's been hurt before." What makes it even worse is that our 'friends' will agree with our foolery. Well, do they really agree or just merely saying this as to not abuse and tamper with our emotions being as though we are in a fragile state at the moment? Subjecting someone with the responsibility of our happiness only makes us object ourselves. Who are you to put your happiness on hold? And just who are you to force your happiness upon someone else? I've seen women hold on to 'relationships' for YEARS in hopes of their 'boo' finally wanting to tie the knot, in hopes of him eventually saying "I love you" or ultimately agreeing to "be together". Trust me, I know. I've been there, done that AND bought the T-shirt only to see it was the WRONG SIZE Honey! If he ain't boo'd ya up in your first couple of years of marriage, why the hell would you give more years to NOT boo ya up?

People, especially men, will do what they want. If they wanna cheat...they will find a way. If they wanna watch the ball game...they will. If they wanna say I love you....they do. If they want your number and you are across the street....they will run a light, cut off the police or hold up traffic just to get the 10 telephonic digits that will connect them to YOU. Trust me I know, it just happened to me Saturday. They are not like us; emotional, analytical and sensitive. They do shit half the time just cuz! “Those that don't got it, can't show it. Those that got it, can't hide it.” ~Zora Neale Hurston. If he wansta boo ya up....he will. If he wansta say I love you...he'll say it. If he wants you in his life forever...nothing can stop him. Not rain, not sleet, not snow, not fear, not distance, not his past relationships, his mama 'nem nor his dog and definitely not his boys will keep him from treating you like HIS queen, his partner, his mate, his ace-boon-coon or the one who completes him. What we have to realize is that it's ok. It doesn't mean you're a failure if you walk away. It doesn't mean you are incapable of being loved if he (or she) is unable to do it. It doesn't mean you are not a jewel if he (or she) doesn't see your light. It means HE AINT THE ONE! 

If I've said it once I've said it 1000 times. Each person is in our our life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Stop trying to expand that one reason or migrate a season into a lifetime. YOU WILL FAIL! You can't fit a square block into a triangular mold. Ya just can't Cletis!  I don't know how many times I've "stuck around til he comes around" only to find out that he'll sooner not 'be around' in the first place. What has he lost but this here dime piece of a woman? NOTHING! What have I lost? I've lost time, patience, effort, emotion, possibly the one FOR me, myself and quite a bit of weight in the process. If you don't know math and is just pretty like me, you may not have calculated that I've lost more then he for I've lost me. And the nerve of us tryna up and get mad cuz HE didn't realize what he had? Ha! That's ok. A lot of us will get bitten in the face by an alligator that we didn't see swimming right in front of us. It means it was meant for us to see. He is merely a passerby. Don't get mad at him cuz he knows when the jig is up.  He was a reason or a season NOT Mr. Lifetime.

 If you had a baby by him and all of a sudden your 'love grows cold' with each other then guess what? Maybe he was a REASON. That reason was to bring forth that beautiful child. A child brings loved ones together, not create love where there is none. Quit harping that "I want my child to have both parents" song. That is bullshit and you know it! A lot of us (well not me cuz I'm allergic to kids) try to pull that 'its for the children' crap but I know better than that. You want HIM to stay for YOU! You aint fooling nobody Miss Thang but ya self. How dare you subordinate that child to witness the unhappiness of both parents cuz you can bare to let it go? Cuz you can't give up your live-in dick? Cuz you're too lazy, scarred and lack confidence in yourself to walk away. Get some SELF-esteem aboutcha, not some HIS-esteem Bish! Get it togetha! Why be complacent when you can be happy? You have got shit to do, a life to live, places to see and shit to learn to be giving someone all of ya good years in hopes of him 'coming around'. When will we ever learn? I'm glad I have. Have you?


You don't have to start over, just begin again. 
//signed//
The 'Learnt' Cat's Meow

How Rude Little Boy, How Rude!

If I ask U 3 times not 2 call me Fantasia but by MY name & u still do it, laughing each & every time b/c u get enjoyment outta my aggravation, don't get mad when I hand you ur lil punk ass on a mildewed platter publicly. It is rude & disrespectful & shows signs of a serial offender. Now ya boys get 2 laugh @ U 4 being cussed out. I asked nicely the 1st three times! If that makes me bitchy then so be it. I can't stand a blatantly rude ass person! Mama always said, "Baby when a person offends you the first time, tell them. Now if they do it again that means they did it on purpose. Then, you may commence to lighting their ass afire!"

Now they say this is this guy's way of showing me that he likes me. Well he just aggravated his ass out of a date (not that he was ever getting one with me anyway but moving on). Who does things like irritate people for shits and grins and laughs about it but children and serial offenders?  Murderers get a kick outta killing. Rapist get pleasure out of violating ones 'privacy'. Liars think it's funny to tell 'fib-a-lations' and lil boys get a kick outta of putting a frog down the backs of little girls. So is this military RETIREE still a freaking little boy? I don't find it hard to believe that maybe he is. This is such a pity. He needs to be happy that my daddy isn't here to serve him an ass whupping for disrespecting his lil Cat!

//signed//

The Irritated Cat's Meow

THE MORNING PAPER

So I've been scolded yet again by a loyal reader, Tawanna Johnson, yet again about blogging more. Her words, "Where is my morning paper? I know something or someone needs to be talked about! lol." This is truly funny to me, yet, oh so very, very inspiring. It has occurred to me that someone actually wants to hear shit I say...ya know...the mess I talk. You mean someone else is listening to me besides me? LOL What a freaking relief!

Yes Tawanna, there is something or someone that needs to be talked about and that someone is me! LMAO Isn't it always about me though? Great! Just checking to see if you were listening.

Her morning paper eh? Interesting comparison I'm thinking. Morning Paper...right now, I feel as though I'm living in a COMIC section, searching for the CLASSIFIEDS all while stopping thru the FASHION & STYLE section. Every now and then I'd search the WANT ADS to see if there is something I could use or if there is something there that wants me but that alone leads me back to the COMIC section where some days I feel like BLONDIE, having a DOONESBURY of a time in this nonFAMILY CIRCUS. Make ya wanna say DAGWOOD!!!!! The stormy WEATHER in my mind has me COOKING up all sorts of negativity right now and gatdernit I am NOT liking it one bit! But what's a girl to do but to BE STILL? Fuck that! I'm tired of being freaking-still! Is there anything out there worth being still for? Grrrrrr! I have so many ideas, so many things I need and want to do and in NO time to do it in! Right now, I wanna skip the morning paper, go back to sleep, sip on a martini, hide beneath the covers and wake up to a new day....a new year....a new me. But until then, whatever's in my flask will have to do.

//signed//

The Groggy Cat's Meow

Intimidation is Intimidating Part I

It is lonely being intimidating. Soon, you begin to think something is wrong with YOU. ~Elvadaseleithia

Well you do! At least I do and I have a feeling that I’m not alone in these thoughts, with these thoughts. I remember back in the day as a young Diva with very little aspirations (besides having my own sitcom and all girls school), a body to die for (I still do), not a care in the world and very little education. I didn’t talk much, kept my opinions to myself, was always lady-like, didn’t smoke or drink and would cry at the drop of a cat’s piss. I’d believe anything you say, believed in what you did and felt everyone in the world was about “some good”. Guys would flock to my feet, more often than not, and a few would actually call me. Though it wasn’t a LOT of dates, there were more than few. I mean, they still shied away from this Southern-Gal-Preacher’s Kid but I wasn’t too much bothered by it. I was still finding myself anyway so being bogged down with too many dates would’ve only interrupted the process.

Fast-forward to the present: I know who I am and what I am (see intro above if u don’t) and I love it.  I know what I like and what I will tolerate. I have an extensive educational background, my own business (it aint a Fortune 500 but it's mine) and working on a second plus inventions, I live alone; I don’t have children or a pet. I buy my own shit, do my own thing, answer to no one, have the bestest friends anyone could have & talk to my parents on the regular especially my perfect daddy. I come home when I please, wear what I want when I want and best believe I do it with class. I’m vocal, opinionated and I get answers. I have an impeccable sense of style, walk with my head up, and love community service & the stage. I even go to sleep when I want. But the problem lies in waking up alone…everyday…..for at least six years…well almost 10. We won’t begin to mention the celibacy part. What is the deal? Yeah, yeah I know you may say the same things that a lot of other people are saying, “Diva, you’re just too intimidating.” I call Bullshit for 200 Alex! There is not that much intimidation in the world. When I think of intimidation (tho nuffin really intimidates me…IJS), I think of a CEO or COO with a lotta bank in the tank, fully high powered and will take no trash…not even in her kitchen. One that’s a beast in the bedroom and the board room (am I describing myself? LOL ) with gorgeousness to boot. One that is a cougar, drives a Jaguar, wears a mink and knows Tiger……Woods that is. I mean a la’ Michelle Obama, Tyra Banks or the Great Lady O (Winfrey). I am nothing like this! Don’t get it twisted, I still walk around on tissue for I am the shit but I don’t feel I have anything or am anything intimidating. I mean, I wouldn’t scare ME. I am, however, a force to be reckoned with. I have a high tolerance for things but little tolerance for less. I won’t let you piss down my back and tell me it’s raining but I will listen to you if you tell me it’s thundering outside. I carry myself with pride naturally. It is not to scare anyone off. I’m opinionated because I have a lot to say. It is mostly profound (to me anyway) and my mind and heart can’t hold it all, not because I think I’m the boss and what I say goes. I’m not rich by any stretch of the imagination but a bish ain’t homeless, car-less, have a lack of fashion and can eat a steak 3 times a week if I so desire. I don’t relish in the attitude of Diva but I do have the Diva Attitude and trust me there is a difference.  It’s not to intimidate, ward people off or portray a bad ass. It is what it is (and I hate that saying).

Again, don’t get me wrong. Women like to hear that they are intimidating in some aspect. This usually means they are dealing with a buncha pussies (I hate that word 2). My friend Torrey says that I’m just dealing with a bunch of weak asses but damn Torrey, EVERY MAN can’t be weak! I ain’t that strong! Or am I? Where the hell is the middle? If 1 person says you look like a horse you tell them to kiss your ass. If a 2^nd person say it, you would think they need glasses, a 3^rd you may begin to slightly wonder but if a 6^th person says it, wouldn’t you think it’s time to visit Dr. 90210? I mean really, all six of these folks can’t be blind and they all aren’t just a lover of that loyal mammal.  At first I thought that maybe I’m just being a little too impatient but wtf? I can only be patient for so long! Now don’t go into the spill about ‘you must first love yourself before you can love anyone else’. STFU! I love myself, have always loved myself and will continue to myself. When will someone else take the hell over? It aint that hard but shit I am tired! It seems that Intimidation is Intimidating me:(

//signed//
The Cat's Purr

ACCEPTANCE

It's all about acceptance. That's learning to live in the 'here and now' without resolutions or reservations, without judgement, worry or spinning a story about what's going on with the present.

Sometimes we have to agree to experience a situation for what it is worth. Following a process without trying to protest it or change it no matter how uncomfortable it maybe. Sounds difficult huh? It can be, especially if we have not learned the art of 'acceptance'. It is an art. Why? Art involves talent and talent is something your good at naturally. It can't be taught or bought only manifested and enhanced.  There are many forms of acceptance but my main focus is SELF ACCEPTANCE. Without it, you can accept no one or nothing else. It all begins within. Self acceptance is being happy with self, loving self under or above any circumstances. Self validation, self approval and agreeing to love who you are at this very moment. The sky is the limit once one can accept self. Get a grip and come to terms about how you feel about you. Oooooh the posibilities Boos! Ya just don't know! I took it upon mySELF to rewrite Ms Williamson's piece to fit me. It's posted on my mirror. It is as follows:

MY deepest fear is not that I am inadequate. My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. It is MY light, not MY darkness that most frightens ME. I ask myself, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented & fabulous? Actually, who am I not to be?  BOOP!

Gone 'head and hug you. The real "YOU" and not the YOU that you THINK you wanna be! Now let that marinate for a while.

That's it & that's all if you ask me but yall aint ask me so....

//signed//
The Self-Accepted Cat's Meow

As I Stand In the Presence of Greatness

On my blessed walk to my office at my new job this week, I noticed that I would have to pass a library every day. This particular library was dedicated to one of the most esteemed neurologist and neuroscientist there, Dr Wallace Tourtellotte. I thought to myself, “Who on earth could that be with a name like that and with every doctoral known to man? “Today, on my downtime, instead of Facebooking, I decided to find out. I mean I am an Aquarius. We research EVERYTHING! Nothing gets by us!

What better way to see who this man is than to mosey around in the book repository named for him. Surely, I thought, they would have some type of history on who he was. I thought wrong…sorta. All of the books in this library were under lock and key! What-Sam-Hill-In-The-Valley is going on here? Who locks up library books or any book for that matter? My mind is an umbrella; it only works when opened just like books.  Hmmm……as I scratch my dimpled chin with finely manicured hands. *speaking of which, I’m in need of a manicure* Anywho, I couldn’t help but to stare at the portrait of him on the wall. The portrait had to have been painted long before the invention of stilettos. I wondered how he became to be of such greatness that there is a room that bears his name. I thought, “This picture is old as hell so I know buddy aint on earth anymore. Rest in peace Mr. Man with all of the D’s in his title.” I smiled. I love greatness.

Curiosity got the best of me. I still couldn’t help but to wonder who this man was. I pull up my trusty friend Mr. GOOGLE. His ass knows everything and everybody. I began to type in the search engine T-O-U-R-T-E-L-L-O-T-T-E…enter. As the picture pops up the damn library door opens. Wtf? Who has the code to come in here to damn disturb me? Before I turn completely around to see the trespasser, I hear a voice that says,”Don’t get up. It’s no one of importance.” I agreed to stay seated….as if THIS Diva was gonna stand up anyway. I joked around, “Fine. I shall do as I’m told,” He says, “Great. At least for now that’s good.” He chuckled hard as hell. I decided to turn around to see who is chuckling like Old Saint Nick. My eyes rested upon this very mature gentleman. In my mind he had to be about 110 years old. How the hell is he still moving around? He says, “My, aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes. Hi there you pretty lil thing you.” Now yall know I normally woulda cut a damn fool for anyone calling me a thing but since the word was preceded with ‘pretty’, I decided to let him slide just this once. *smiles* I thanked him. For some reason I felt the sense of greatness surround me so I decided to stand. He told me I didn’t have to go but I insisted. I wanted to go and research my man Dr Tourtellotte in peace. Besides, I would give this poor man a heart-attack if I stayed and flirted with him. “I must get back to work now”, I told him. He didn’t recognize me. I thought it was because his poor lil sight was leaving him because surely everyone knows me. LMAO I introduced myself. He extended his hand to me and as I took it, a magnetic force generated from my hands to my elbow. “Well I’m Wallace Tourlette, So pleased to meet you.” My jaw dropped Honeys! Literally and that’s a lot with these lips of mine.  I looked over at the computer screen with his face on it still. I looked up at the portrait that bore his name and I let out a Diva-ish squeal.“Oh my! Is that you on the wall?” “That old thing? Ah fooey!”, he says, “That’s not even my good side.” I was so astounded! Now yall know my ass is dramatic. My eyes grew extra large and my lips became extra bubbly. “Well I’ll be damned. I was just about to research you.” “No need”, he says, “I am still alive. This is like my second office.” “So you come here to let it all out?” “Yep!” “Well they need to keep your office clean at all times then damnit! How dare they!” I began moving chairs out of his way and immediately became disgruntled at the untidiness of the place. I mean he’s like 100 years old. He can’t be tripping and falling and such. I dusted off his little table and everything. I was so happy cuz yall know my ass won’t even dust my own table, let alone some dude I just met.



Dr. Tourtellotte has dedicated over 60 years of his life to brain research. He has a Ph.D, M.D. and all the other D’s behind his name. Man that is some real dedication to healthcare. He IS a radiologist, neuroscientist, neurologist and author of at least six books! Lawd hammurcy on my lil o’ pretty soul. He’s been doing this since before my mama was born! That means I wasn’t even (yes I’m aware of the double negative) thought about yet! Yeah I know you are prolly thinking, “Ok bish. Why are YOU so excited over something so little?” WRONG! This is NOT little. I love legacies, especially one I get to witness. And the little things inspire me and make me most happiest than the suspected joys of the big things. All that time I thought the old guy had kicked the bucket. His honorable butt is still around kicking buckets. Doesn’t that just beat all?! I am literally beaming. I guess TPTB wanted me to see for myself that to assume is just that---made an ASS outta ME! What a great way to start the weekendJ

Dr. Tourtellotte

//signed//

The Pretty Lil Thing of a Cat’s Meow

YOU don't make ME beautiful!

Ya know, the severity of people's ignorance still amazes me in the year of 2011! But if you know me, then you know that I am allergic to bullshit and foolishness. I try to avoid it at all cost but like attention, ignorance is my personal paparazzi.

Sometime last week while me and 1 of my boos, Jesse, were having a few drinks in WeHo (West Hollywood for the non Cali-literate) when someone of the Caucasian descent inquired about his ethnicity because of the grade of his hair. Really dude? You asked what he was mixed with because his hair was not "kinky like I mostly see"? Some of yall are really growing big balls this year I see. I will say that my boi handled the question with such class and dignity. Now had this question been asked of him about 2 years ago, I may have been raising money for Jesse's bail. My, how my boo have grown.

Now fast foward to today. Idiot savant in class to me: Wow you have such soft looking hair and its so curly. Are both of your parents black?
Now for some reason the hush that came over the room should have been her cue to shut the hell up but she chose to demonstrate this "Was it something I said?" kind of bullshhhhaat! See what happens when ya open ya mouth to say absolutely nothing? It causes me to get in that ass. Tryna play that ditsy role will NOT fly with me bish! It's not cute and the question is NOT that innocent like you are pretending to portray it.

Grace!

Me: Attention all white people, Latino people, Asian people and all the like. Do not ask a black person if he or she is mixed if they have hair like Jesse. Do not ask if Stacey has Asian in her because her eyes are 'Asian-like'. Do not ask us if we are of another ethnicity because our eyes maybe of any color other than dark brown.  MY people's beauty come in all sorts of shades of color, grades of coiffure & hues of eyes. When you see YOUR definition of beauty, don't try and take credit for it! We are beautiful without your blood ya dig! In these days in time, it baffles me how ignorant people choose to be. Yes, I said choose. It's hard for me to believe that in 2011 you still contribute OUR beauty to that of YOUR ancestry. We have green, blue and hazel eyes. WE all don't claim to have Indian or White in our families. Some of our hair is soft and curly and NOT what you CLAIM to be used to. That excuse would have worked in the 40's, MAYBE, but not now. I will NOT sit around and watch you under-mindedly insult my people in public or otha-fucking-wise! You are not responsible for the allurement of my people! Don't merit yourself for our exquisiteness! EVERY race have beautiful people, with or without a mixture. Grace Jones is a beautiful as Lena Horne. Kenya Moore is just as beautiful and Kimora Lee Simmons. Tomiko Fraser-Hines is just as beautiful as Dorothy Dandridge! Stop trying to claim OUR Michael Ealy! He has told you his parents are black so get over it. We don't need your validation to be validated. And just because we may have a surname of something besides Williams, Smith or Thompson, it doesn't mean we are mixed with a Latin Reyes or Morales. We come from countries other than Africa and the US so there are black Gonzales' & Morenos, Burkes & Goodacres so grow the hell up. Quit trying to be a contributoring factor in the beauty of black! It for damn sho' aint cute and I for damn sure know you are NOT that ignorant! What you eat don't make us shit!



Tomiko!



Silence...DONE!

I went easy on that bish this time but with the next victim, I won't be so gotdamn nice!

//signed//

The PROUD TO BE A BLACK CAT'S MEOW!

The Truth Is.....

The truth sometimes make reality harder to live with. The truth is democracy is a beautiful dream but the reality is that most of us don't care about democracy as long as we have stability. The truth is that sometimes we are not where we should be but the reality is we are not where we used to be. How do you perceive reality? Would you rather deal with things the way you see them or deal with things the way they truly are? The truth is, happiness is fully attainable but the reality is, who wants to work so hard to obtain it? The truth is mothers should be nuturing and protective of their children. The reality is all of them are not. Do you look reality in the face and blatantly deny because you can or because you refuse to face it? I don't know, tell me what your reality is and I'll tell you how I perceive it.

//signed//
The Realistic Cat's Meow

No Truer Words...

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they will at any cost. One shouldn't bother saving a spot for someone who won't make an effort to stay."

Interesting isn't it. But how does one know if one has made a conscientious effort to stay? This brings me back to my heartbreak. He wanted me to stay on HIS terms. It was HIS terms for a very long time. It didn't work for me later. So, now what? Is he to blame for me not setting boundaries? Did we need boundaries? In hindsight, I am guessing so. Hindsight, however, is 20/20.



//signed//
The Blind-sided Cat's Meow

We Are Not In Kansas Cowardly Lion

     You know what I hate? Yeah, I know what you are saying, "Bish you always hate something!" And your point would be? Don't answer that. I could care less at this point.

Anywho, I hate when people, specifically a male, try to gather information about me by asking me questions in a bish ass way! I hate that! A few days shy of moving into my new domicile, I finally run into one of my neighbors. We talked about his line of work and how he goes back and forth to Iraq for months on end as a contractor. Now, I have already heard about this dude from the previous tenant who just happens to be a friend of mine so I knew the drill. He looked at me all intense as if he was trying to read me. Impossible Boo! Anyway, he proceeded to tell me the happenings in the area and without skipping a beat, his ass asks, "So you live there with your man?" Him don't know me too well do he? *in my Tweety Bird voice* LOL I continued on with, "I have friends in Iraq right now. Some have been there for a while, some fairly new there and a few are coming back soon." He then goes on to say how small the apartments are and how women usually live here with their boyfriends. "What does your boyfriend do?" I deviated to the other neighbor standing next to me and complimented her hair.

Fast forward....

"If I only had the nerve"

The neighbor from earlier, we'll just say his name is Bob though his name sounds like URINE, decided he would walk me up the street to the local market to show me where the good deals are. He got a new phone, asked me my opinion of it, told me some of his business and yada yada yada. On our way back to MY QUEENDOM, he goes, "So I guess your man is trusting. He let you go to the store with me." I say, "Funny. I don't recall discussing a male counterpart with you." He says that he asked if I lived there with my man and I said yes. Now I knew which alley this cat was headed so I betta stop him dead in his tracks before he winds up writing a check that his ass can't cash. "Noooo, I distinctly recall ignoring you actually." One thing I hate is when a mofo ask me shit in the ways of the Cowardly Lion asking the Wiz for some gatdern courage! I'm a direct Kitty. My heart don't pump no Kool aid. "Boo sit down. If you wanna know something, it behooves you to ask. Ask directly and with some balls please cuz I'ma turn ya down either way." He apologized as he should. I can't stand that shit! Don't try to be slick with your shit. You can't slick another can of oil Boo, ya just can't. Lord, where do they find these people? I have already got wind that he likes to show up a Diva's door unannounced. I'll just say this. I am NOT that kitty to do that to. You and I can already foreshadow how that can turn out. I'm just sayin'....
//signed//
The Anxious Cat's Meow

Love is NOT Lost

Love is never lost. It changes position every now and then so you would have to work harder to find it. When you do find it, you're more appreciative of it. That's what love is. ~Elvadaseleithia

     Yeah love sometimes trick us with the old switch-a-roo method or go militant & dress in camouflage. It never hides, it is never lost and it is never unsure. Those that have it, can't help but to unleash it. They can't help but to show it no matter how they much they try and tuck their little hearts under a wool sweater or iron box. Those that don't have it can't possibly show it. They may be able to fake it but like the plated gold necklace this woman is wearing in front of me, it will tarnish. The gold will eventually flake off, that metal will turn green, the external will begin to itch and the imposter will ensuingly reveal it's true colors. Oftentimes, we KNOW when love doesn't exist. Our skins starts to itch, that so called "love" begins to flake & we sense that all that is glittering aint gold. But like this lady, we love it anyway. So my question is do we really have no choice in who we love? They say when someone is "the one" we will know it. How many times have you "knew" the person you love was "the one"? How many times have we let "the one" get away because we just knew the one we were persuing was "the one" when they turned out to be "the one we shoulda let go"? I'm sure we all have thought this at least twice. If you say you haven't then you sir or ma'am could be suspected as a distorter of reality. I aint saying you're a liar or nuffin but I'm just saying.
What about the ones who try and pretend there is no love where it truly is? What do we call those people?

Sometimtes love is right in front of us but we don't see it. It has been on the tip of our noses but we failed to smell it. It sings sweet nothings in our ear but we become deaf to the melody. It's been an entree that we failed to eat because the sides were just too irresistable to pass up. Does it make its way back around again or as Langston says, does it make like a dream & dry up like a raisin in the sun? My guess is as good as yours but this one thing I know, Love is never, ever lost but it is US that is.

//signed//
The Ever-Aporetic Cat's Meow

Three Times the Charm

     As many of you know, especially if you follow me, that I am on a quest to rejuvenating my spirituality (if you don't know, read previous post then come back to this one and keep the hell up!). I am Buddhist and yes we believe in the powers of the mind and the universe contrary to Christian belief. We try not to focus on that. Too much focus on deities makes one forget about living, IMHO.

     Yesterday, on my inspirational & meditational visit to Pacific Palisades's Lake Shrine, TPTB (The Powers That Be) decided 2 visit me once again. About 15 minutes in meditation, the leader asked us to use the rest of this time to speak to TPTB from our hearts while focusing on our breathing. I began to speak. "What do YOU need me to do? How do I know it's you speaking and not me answering myself? You sent a sign telling me that you listen to me but you didn't tell me what to do. What do I do?" An assertive voice from inside proposed, "Be still."  "Ok," I say, "is that my voice I hear or is that you? I need you to appear like right now or else I'm gonna think I'm crazy! Do ya hear me?" I left it at that. Meditation ended. Though I was perplexed, I enjoyed meditation. I had not sat with an erect spine, closed eyes and in silence in a very long time. Exiting the Windmill Chapel with my SNUGGIE in tow, deep in thought & highly spirited, I run upon this sign:

What on earth is going on?! LOL Ok Universe! This is the 3rd time this has been 'yelled' to me. Ok Ok already! I looketh to the skies again from wence cometh my....answer.Now I know it wasn't me answering myself. This sign was nowhere to be found during my previous visit to the garden. I was dumbfounded. "You keep telling me to be still but what the heck do you mean? I'm not moving!" Now that I know TPTB is hearing me, maybe I should ask what is meant by "Be still". I'm not moving or at least I don't think I am but you know Heaven. Their terminology is totally different from ours. My 'still' aint their 'still' if you catch my drift. Yeah, I think you do.

//signed//

The Impatiently BEing Still Cat's Meow

The Mauna After....

So, here I am in my favorite coffee shop, Coffee Caliente, in Long Beach recapping my first mauna of my life. Yes, of my life. I was born making noise so me being in the womb doesn't count. I noticed things about myself that I have never noticed before during my inner-calm. I heard my heart beating for the 1st time in years. I did hear it break February 23rd but a beat is much more easy to hear than a break. I noticed that Starbucks really does have horrible coffee. I've learned that I am more patient then I give myself credit for. I am more aware of my surroundings. I've observed that the less I talk, the more I actively ......listen. Not that I didn't know this before but mauna observance intensifies it a bit. One great thing that really came to light for me is......it's ok to be quiet. Quiet as in 'still'...as in 'placid'....as in 'serene'. Now that's a whole different kind of quiet. I'm coming to the conclusion that there is an art to being quiet & still. It takes practice, skill, determination, and patience. What? Patience? Yeah, I just found that I have more than I thought. Weird.

I'm looking forward to my next mauna, so excited that I'm bringing someone with me. Who will it be? Will it be you? Come on, don't be scared. It's only silence.

//signed//
The More Aware Cat's Meow

It's Just Anotha Muana Monday...oh Woah

"Chatter is more out of inner restlessness."

What? Who on earth said that? Now that I think of it, there could be some sort of truth to it.

Welcome to Mauna Monday ( in my Bangles, all girl group voice). What is it you ask? Sit down & I'll give you a brief synopsis on how it came to be....to ME that is.

     While busy yelling at, being annoyed with & and having a very intimate meeting with the powers that be the other day, I was led to the observance of "Mauna". I was asking the Universe if it had heard anything I said, will it grant any wish I'd dreamed, will it assist me in assisting others and why the hell is it taking them so long to hear my cry. "What will you have me to do? You aint telling me nuffin & I'm mad about it!" I hear a tiny voice say, "BE STILL." WTF do you mean BE STILL? I continued to rant and rave, cry and snot, pace the floor & ask again. "What will you have me to do? I know I have to give a lil and take a lil but I've been giving & not getting & I really don't think you listen to me so what else you got?" I waited. No reply. A minute later I look up and ask, "Well?" Frustrated, I plopped down on the bed where my "Undreamed of Possibilities" pamphlet by Paramahansa Yogananda popped open to the beginning of the brochure. The first thing I see were the words BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM..... Chills went up my back and back down my spine. I yell, "I asked you what do you mean to by be still? I AM being still. I'm being as still as I possibly can! I can't go nowhere. I have no big bucks to do anything with. I have no damn gas in my car and if I did move I won't come back to a parking spot! What do you mean! I'm only moving when it comes to helping people on their journey & their quest for happiness but what about ME?! And if I don't move, who will? You don't seem to be!" I closed the brochure only for it to pop back open again to BE STILL. Grrrrrr... I done told you Universe I'ont know what you mean! Get it togetha! There you go, not listening AGAIN! Suddenly I hear, NO U R NOT LISTENING. I SAID BE STILL! WHY IS YOUR MOUTH MOVING? I look around. Who said that and who are you talking to? You are NOT the boss of me! Yelling as I sit, I realized that I didn't say those words to my OWNself so....
     I began to sit still. The brochure by the yogi kept looking at me all hard so I decided to pick it up. There it is again-Be Still. Alright already! For some odd reason, something brought me back to something I saw and read on my visit to Lake Shrine. That something was a picture of Saint Gandhi observing a day of silence. What? Silence? What's that? There is no such thing as silence, especially to me...the one and only. I talk all the time, even in my sleep. Quiet is boring. I can't sleep when it's quiet. There is too much to be said, too much noise to be made, too many ideas to be thought & not enough time to do it all in. I am the queen of talk, as you can plainly see. Again I hear a voice, BE STILL & BE QUIET. Ok now wait one minute! *side-eyes* Now I gotta be still AND be quiet? This is asking for a bit 2 much. Universe, you know I was made to be a mover and a shaker so why now all of a sudden you want me to move nothing & shake less? Please make up your mind! I began to think. Then I said to myself, "Self?" and myself says "Huh?" I say well what the hell are you moving and shaking? Not a damn thing. I guess I'll sit my ass down and shut ME the hell up. I began to research Mr. Almighty Gandhi and his quest for this impossible silence. Gandhi decided to make Mondays his weekly day of silence "mauna". He spoke to no one under any circumstances unless him speaking would save a life. Even the highest dignitaries that wished to speak to him on Mondays had to wait til Tuesday. LMAO! The sandaled one did NOT back down for No One! I love that. Reminds me of ....well...ME. He fasted by being quiet, being quiet got him answers. Interestingly enough, he pleads his case of silence convincingly. He said, "In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.  Interesting again. Funny thing is, I knew this. I had come to the conslusion a long time ago that the body is busy, the mind is busy, the soul is busy. All three of them need their rest. A rested, peaceful and QUIET mind seems to think more clearly, logically. But wait, I can think while talking! On the contrary, is it clear thinking? NO. Back in the day when I used to meditate constantly, I noticed a lot of things while quiet. I hear my heart beat, I tasted my food, I hear the stars, my thoughts are clear-----I was  aware. Hmmmmm....

Being still and being quiet it is. When shall I do this here quiet thing? My father always said, "If you see someone you wish to portray, take them to dinner. If they pick their teeth with one toothpick, pick your's with two." Well, I can't take Gandhi to dinner but I can damn sure do what he did. I want answers so I shall be quiet.

     Today is my first day of mauna. I like it so far. I came to Starbucks, ordered my coffee and lemon loaf using a notepad and got to work. The Starbucks' clerks were a bit taken aback seeing as though I am always talking and now all of a sudden I'm using a notepad. They are still watching me as I type this. Funny. Now that I'm quiet and more aware, I now notice that they have horrible coffee. It's really not that great. I'm now convinced that Starbucks have great gimicks. That's what keeps them afloat. The coffee is NOT the bee's knees. I hear every single sound right now. I can vividly hear every conversation taking place in my silence. This is cool. The Universe's poetry is silence. Ssssshh It's talking. Lemme be still & HEAR what it has to say.

//signed//
The Silent Cat's Meow

Where Are YOU?

While driving in a hurricane there are 3 people @ the bus stop: 1 lil ole lady that is sick & will die if she doesn't get medical care now, ur bff that has saved ur life & the woman/man of ur dreams. There is only room enough in the car for one more person. Who do u take? A hypothetical question that tells where u r at n ur life.

Deriving A Plan 2 Reevalauate, Recuperate, Rejuvenate & Re....something (Part I)

     If you've read my tragedy of February 23 then you know by now that I'm currently in a Diva-is-Down situation. Lawd grant me the serenity cuz I'm still in quite a funk & mad about it. Whatever should I do? I will forever be without one of the souls that made me smile. The one that made me the perfect eggs. The only one I considered having children with and if you know me, you know I am HIGHLY allergic to children. I've gone from sad to angry to upset to denial to rejected, back to sad, anger with a twist of disappointment, confusal (I know it's not a word but follow along) & in the state of refusal. I've decided to amputate my feelings from him altogether. Why even continue with anything concerning him? Why on earth did he still want to continue to be in my lil world after all of this? I'm learning to stop trying to figure it out. It's no use. I have to learn to accept the things I can not change. People do the most stupidest things & can make the dumbest decisions known to man. It's not my job to figure it out. I may never figure it out. My job is to figure me out. Where am I going? What do I do now? Where do I go & how the hell long will it take me to get there? Can I pay for a ticket to get me there sooner?  Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I made him my whole world. U know I am MY world, just so you know so don't get the shit twisted. I just loved him in it. Whichever country or state he was in my heart, I loved him there. I know there is no changing that. Do I forgive him? Is there anything to forgive? I don't know.  He can't make his heart feel something it won't & his heart said, "Dude I ain't ready." At least I think it was his heart. Coulda been  fear. Things are not always what they seem but like I said, it aint for me to figure it out. That's his job. I can't nor did I ever try to change him. I know can & will gain the courage to change the things I can. And that change is deciding to get over it. It'll be a process. This love has been harvested love for over 10 yrs so u R gonna have to gimme a minute but it can be done. I've prayed for help. though I'm not quite sure who I prayed to but I know they heard me cuz I asked for a sign from whatever entity that heard me. That sign came in my pink lighted tweezers.

Now the flashlight on these things have not worked in 3 years! I've beat them, threw them, bought them new batteries and everything and the light never lit again until the night of 25 February when I *gulp* prayed. I came home to naturally cry again at almost midnight when I saw a lil light on in my bathroom. I thought maybe it was my salt lamp but no. This light was tiny as hell. Then I thought maybe I left something plugged up for charging. Nope. WTH is it then? Not my makeup, not the neighbors light from next door & definitely not my toothbrush. I turned the light off 2 follow the light. It was my damn tweezers! Ok now who's fucking with me? These things ain't worked in years and I didn't think to inspect them for that very reason. I look to the "heavens from which cometh my help" as they say. Are yall fucking with me? I tried to turn them off and turn them back on. The turn off was successful, the turn on...not so much. I unscrewed the part that held the battery. No damn battery to speak of. R u serious? Is this my sign? Who heard me? What part did they hear? Lord did u hear the whole prayer or just some of it? Ut oh, if u heard it all then u heard my profanity too huh? Well you know my heart.

     Now to figure out what I need to figure out. They say one step to getting over a broken heart is to let it out. Talk about it. Check. I'm doing that already. Then they said to cry. Don't be afraid to cry. If u know me then u know I ain't scured to cry. I wish I was. As a matter of fact, I've cried so much that I ran outta tears. I guess that's why the angels cried for 3 days after that. They took over for me so check crying off the list. What next? How I wish there were an outline for situations such as these. I guess I'll make my own. This is why this will be continued.

//signed//

The Wandering Cat's Meow

From the Outhouse to Brickhouse

Well she's a brick---house! She's mighty, mighty, just lett'n it all hang out! I guess this is what one of my friends said one day when looking in a mirror. She didn't like what she saw and decided to do something about it and quickly! Don't we all wish we had such rapid motivation? She was always the one who went out and did what she wanted, when she wanted and fast. Gone 'head V! With the ever changing technology, ever changing health care and ever changing economy comes an ever changing body. Yeah, yeah, you may think your metabolism will stay the same, you'll always look 21 yrs old & you'll always see your feet w/o your belly in the way but you're wrong. Loud & wrong but it's ok. Even the skinniest of the skinny develop that lil Ethiopian belly with age. It's like rain & taxes....inevitable! Even your feet tend to get bigger if you don't watch your step. So just what are you gonna do about it? Maybe you should join Venus on her journey from an Outhouse to a Brickhouse. It seems like it'll be an exciting one and I can't wait until she finishes! As for myself, I'm arthritic, allergic to kids and manual labor and since working out falls into the manual labor category, I'm allergic to that 2! Oh the possibilities for Venus! Confucius said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step but in this case, The journey of 1000 pounds begins with one sit up (and NO Venus is NOT 1000 pounds!). Call me when you're done V, I'm about to go get me a donut and watch the game. Just knowing you're working hard at this makes me sweat my makeup off and since I wear that expensive shit I need to get my fair share of wear out of it. Luv ya and I'm proud of you! *stuffs mouth with 2nd donut* You can do it Boo!

Aight peeps, if you'd like to follow Venus on her trail to FINENESS (and don't get it twisted, my gurl is still da bizness), please hit her up on the link provided and share some words of encouragement along the way with my girl and if your ass is in need of a workout....join her!

http://www.outhousetobrickhouse.com/blog/    

//signed//

The Ever-Eating a Krispy Kreme Cat's Meow

City of Long Beach, I now find you guilty 4 the crime of Bullshitting in the Court of Life!



Whilst roaming thru my new corridors of Long Beach where I now reside, I've come upon a lot of bullshit that has me questioning some of the foolery running through the minds of some imbeciles.

Bullshit Exhibit A

For instance, I swear every cotton-picking day is street sweeping day in the LBC! WTF for? The streets still look like shit. Yet, they never fail to ticket the residence every chance they get. I don't understand why this is so when the parking here in NON-EXISTENT! And did I mention, the streets still look a hot mess even when I move my car? What the hell are they doing when my car isn't in the lucky spot I found, blowing the crap down the street? One day, I decided to actually watch for the assholes that issue tickets on DAILY basis and watch for the fools that 'clean the streets'. Tues, Wed, Thurs and Friday I saw NOT one bullshit cleaning truck sweeping not ONE Avenue! Don't that just beat all? And talk about mahyem, they have a nerve to post this mess-------->

Who the hell is sweeping a street at 4am? No one obviously! I've even rushed outside to move my car one day before the traffic cops ticketed my car just to notice that I was too late, but wait, it was 8:20 in the AM and I didn't have a ticket on my car! Wahoo! I beat the damn system somehow. I skipped on down to the local Von's to acquire things for my victory breakfast and just what did I see? Bullshit exhibit B:

Is this mofo sleeping on the damn job? Yes Sir, I do believe he is? I don't understand it, I don't understand it! But wait, this could help me out later in court when I fight 1 of these bogus tickets. I was issued a ticket one day at 8:37 AM which was well after the street sweeping hours. I bet you it was this creep! *saves picture in incriminating evidence file* Do you know how many people would love to have his job or any damn job right now? He obviously doesn't appeciate it or is it not challenging enough for him? And might I add they clean the same street on two separate days? Holy crap! Why can't they clean the whole street in one day? Hell they have 4 freaking hours to damn do it!

 

Bullshit Arena #2

Who on earth harasses HOMELESS people? The Dirtbag City of Long Beach, that's who! My Coffee Caliente Compadre "Scott the Snot" just informed me that he saw one of the Long Beach Flashlight Cops harassing a poor lil homeless woman up the street. What the hell was the flashlight cop doing bantering this poor woman who was minding her own business behind her very own fire hydrant? Then his or her ass had the audacity to talk shit on the walkie-talkie. I mean WTH hell were they doing, calling for backup? *smdh*

A couple of days ago as I was walking down 6th, I looked up from my text (shut up, there is no walking and texting law...yet), just to find a full on swat team cocked and ready for another homeless dude!You don't see the homeless dude huh? HE'S BEHIND A DUMPSTER yelling "I'm tired of it all!"  *insert blank stare* Now where were these assholes when my car was broken into while the thief fled the scene? Nowhere to be gatdern found! They told me that they weren't coming out for a burglarized car when they have real crime to fight. Since when did being a homeless man residing behind a dumpster become a real crime? Please enlighten me because I am at a loss for words. The other day, I witness a doughnut eater citing a homeless man for not having identification. *crickets chrip*. WTF does he need ID for, to write a rent check? After a myriad of citations what will become of poor lil Homeless Harry? Are you gonna throw him in jail Long Beach? So not only are you wasting tax payer's dollars by paying sleeping on-the-job parking attendants but you're also flushing our money down the toilet by jailing "Harry". What gives? What say you, Long Beach? Hmph, I guess they have to find the funds somewhere to pay for the $20, 000 Capitol Bear that jerk-wad of a governor purchased for the state of Cali. And speaking of jerk-wad....

 

Bullshit Exhibit C

Only the state of damn California would nominate and vote an 'actor' into political office AND one, I might add, was not born on American soil and can't pronounce the name of the state in which he'll be sitting. I am too mad about this. He can't even ACT like a governor! Shit like this really makes my ass itch beyond recognition. Get it togetha Cali!

 

And Long Beach, what the hell is up with this 24 minute parking only shananigan? Who the hell goes anywhere for only 24 minutes and mind you in the beach area? Hell, I take more than 24 minutes to go to the damn bathroom! *sighs* So much Bullshit, So little time to cover it all but you get the gist of my rants.

With this plethora of citations in tow, I can only come to the conclusion of sentencing you, Long Beach, to 5 years in hell for the poppycock you continue to pull. Your drivel antics have shown me that you have low to no regard for the wonderful people that keep you up and running ridiculously. I now throw the damn book at you in hopes that you get your shit togetha expeditiously. I suggest you move with some sense of urgency for I am the Judge and the Godamn Jury since I pay taxes! Get thee the hell outta my face BITCHES!

 

//signed//

The Judicial Cat's Meow